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Or maybe...the person likes those things? Is there anything wrong with that? People suggested (implied) that we should have spent the money on a big honeymoon/vacation instead of a big wedding. Guess what? I wouldn't have enjoyed that nearly as much. Our wedding day was a BLAST. We look at those pictures all the time and smile. It was well worth every penny we spent, to us.
In contrast, we could have eloped and had a fancier hotel for our honeymoon, nicer cars, or bought a house a couple months earlier--none of those things would have brought us nearly as much joy as our wedding memories do.
My ring is a little chip of a diamond (because we were in college when he proposed--it was a lot of money at the time though!). I love it, but who am I to tell someone who finds joy in big sparkly things that they're doing it wrong? So long as they aren't going in to debt for material things, it's none of my business how they allocate their funds.
Saberai,
You are getting your guy an engagement ring too?! Not common at all. It’s nice to hear about it.
Rather than having my girl buy me an engagement ring and vice versa, and spending all this money on the wedding. Rather keep it more private and spend all those thousands in other things than keeping all that money wrapped around our fingers doing nothing.
While not a fan of BIG weddings personally, you miight want to invest a little time in getting your background facts straight instead of spewing anything and everything you believe out as fact.
Most of these "Big" weddings are not paid for by the future husband, but rather the family of the bride. More and more weddings are being paid for by couples, that being both the future wife and husband equally. I'm not sure where you are getting your 1950's concept of the world at large as it is today.
It's still hovering around 50%.
Most do. A change in societal attitudes has contributed to the increase in eloping. Over 60 percent of marriages are now conducted by officiants and celebrants, many of which being eloping weddings.
YOU also have options on how and where YOU want to get married. There's no law holding you to participating in a HUGE wedding. So, all this fuss is for what?
The point I'm trying to make is that most of these marriages that begins expensive weddings turn into divorces, and those divorces happen in a short period of time.
Those BIG weddings by the couple make it seem like that their marriage is going to last....then later on they get a divorce. All that for nothing which they should've focus more on the marriage itself for the whole marriage rather than just one day at the alter.
It's like a football player that goes to the NFL Combine and has a all the NFL scouts look at him, and when he after he gets picked from the #1 overall draft pick in the 1st Round he looks promising. Then later on it becaomes irrelevent because after a year or 2 you don't hear from that player again, which means that pick turned out a bust.
Like, a future husband will buy an expensive ring 4 his future wife and pay for aa BIG wedding.
To me about 96% of the time those marriages don't even last long.
Why can't couples can jus be simple and just get a ring that's REALLY worth something with substance in the inside than just or having an enormous price tag and having a simple wedding than big weddings.
No offense about/to people buying BIG weddings and all, but all or most of marriages these days are being emphasizes on how big a wedding was than on the marriage itself. If You know what i mean?
I agree 100%. Ever see those celebrity couples that had a multi-million dollar wedding and then they're divorced in two months. My grand parents, meanwhile, got married in a 30 minute ceremony in the 40s, right before my grandfather went to war, and maybe eight people were there. They were married for the rest of their lives together and died three days apart.
Despite what the commercials might tell you, spending money has nothing to do with how you actually feel about someone.
The point I'm trying to make is that most of these marriages that begins expensive weddings turn into divorces, and those divorces happen in a short period of time.
Is there some study that shows an inverse relationship between cost of wedding and success of marriage? I'm not aware of one. I'm in my marriage for the long haul, and that wouldn't change whether we had spent $500 or $50,000 on the wedding day. If two people are committed to each other, then the cost of the wedding is irrelevant. If two people aren't, then no amount of money will save their marriage. The amount spent on a ceremony does not doom the marriage.
Quote:
Originally Posted by punky86
Wedding rings, weddings, and honeymoons are a waste of time and money IMO. Id rather keep the money. In this economy it seems like such a waste.
Keep the money for what? If it's to feed yourself, great--I understand that. Slightly more important than a diamond. If it's to go on a vacation later, buy a car, get a bigger house, etc--then that's just a different priority. It's no less of a waste than a party is.
Quote:
Originally Posted by victorianpunk
I agree 100%. Ever see those celebrity couples that had a multi-million dollar wedding and then they're divorced in two months. My grand parents, meanwhile, got married in a 30 minute ceremony in the 40s, right before my grandfather went to war, and maybe eight people were there. They were married for the rest of their lives together and died three days apart.
Despite what the commercials might tell you, spending money has nothing to do with how you actually feel about someone.
And my husband's grandparents got married in a courthouse wedding that cost $10--and were divorced a year later. Not spending money on a wedding does not improve the likelihood of a marriage lasting. Money has nothing to do with it. It's all about the attitude of the people involved.
Keep the money for what? If it's to feed yourself, great--I understand that. Slightly more important than a diamond. If it's to go on a vacation later, buy a car, get a bigger house, etc--then that's just a different priority. It's no less of a waste than a party is.
Actually I plan on using the money saved for my wedding to go to grad school. Is that an acceptable priority?
Actually I plan on using the money saved for my wedding to go to grad school. Is that an acceptable priority?
Just different--my husband and I had no need for grad school in our chosen professions. It's not "acceptable" or "unacceptable"...just a different decision.
If two people are committed to each other, then the cost of the wedding is irrelevant.
Well they better be "commited" to each other or else it was all for nothing.
Marriage is not easy you know.
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