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Do you have romantic relationships with either of your children? If no, then this is not the correct forum.
But this whole treat was about an mother asking advice re her son she isn’t talking to. So in that sense it’s the correct thread, and if it really was the wrong thing here,, a moderator would have removed it
The original post is from over a decade ago. I don't know why it's been resurrected multiple times with replies to the OP...but please be aware that it's an old thread.
That said, it's a common enough experience for parents to feel either unhappy about a young adult kid's partner, sometimes with legitimate causes for concern. But adults, even young ones, have every right to make their own choices in these things and they are gonna, whether we like it or not. My younger son is dating an alcoholic who has some very concerning issues, but there's no point at all in telling him to break up with her. I do give him advice about boundaries, and that he has every right to deny or withdraw his consent to any element of their relationship if he needs to...and that he's got a right to protect himself from harm. But if I find out he's been treating her badly, I have words for him about that as well. He isn't a perfect angel, I am not blind about that.
I've been seeing a bunch of videos online about "Boy Moms"...some kind of weird thing where some mothers of young men act like an SO is competition or that the guy is "theirs" or something... That's weird. I've met the occasional woman who had an adult son that she seemed overly clingy about, and I just don't get it. I want my sons to grow up and find HEALTHY relationships and prioritize their wives in such, higher than their connection to me. I see that as right and normal, a stage of growing up.
None of this is meant to be pertinent to the OP, because the OP is so darn old I don't think it makes sense to reply to it anymore...just talking in generality about these kinds of challenges.
I think it depends on the kids age. Guys brains don't fully develop until 25.
I think you want to give your kids some space to make decisions and to make mistakes so they can learn from them.
But if they are going to make really big mistakes, I probably will say something. Getting knocked up or getting the wrong person really knocked up really can screw up your life.
Over 18, I probably am not forbidding behaviors, but I think you can and should point out likely foreseeable consequences of really bad decision making.
I know this is an ancient thread, but find it very interesting there were so many one and done posters participating, and they all had the same problem as the OP or were strongly defending her.
Holy zombie thread Batman. Hopefully he didn't marry this harpy.
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