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I'm not boodha, but it's because you seem to have a unusually strong aversion to social interaction. You had a woman interested in you, and you panicked and cut her out of your life rather than allowing yourself to be vulnerable. You seem to want to change, but you don't have the tools or the coping skills to do so, and a professional therapist can help you work through these issues.
Exactly. Jason, I don't think anyone here thinks you are mentally ill. There are millions of people who seek out counseling for various reasons, such as deaths/relationship/self esteem issues, etc etc. I think talking a neutral 3rd party may help you. There is no shame in counseling. It has helped many. A therapist can help you see things differently. Otherwise, just pay for the sex and move on! It's your life. If you don't like something, then change it!
I suggested a mental health pro because, based on your posts, your problems will not be solved by simply losing your virginity. You seem unable to lift yourself up out of the dark hole you are in. If you believe that all you need is a good lay and all your relationship problems will be solved, why did you push away the woman who was willing and interested in you?
If you want to learn how to have a fulfilling, intimate relationship with a woman some day, a prostitute will not be able to help you. I'm afraid that would be like the blind leading the blind.
What is wrong with paying for sex? I mean, for some people it's immoral, I can understand that. But that's not my case. Yes, I live in the EU and Amsterdam is closer.
Well, for many of us it isn't a natural right, we are racional beings. Besides, I've had plenty of successes in my professional life.
You should never pay to hit it, the world is full of women..one's that will easily throw their "box" at you. It's right there for you to hit, you just gotta step up to the plate.
I used to live the EU (Not far from Amsterdam as well), I know tempting it is out there. There are so many places where you can pay for it easily (legally) and its done but trust me it's much more fulfilling to just crack a broad hard.
If you believe that all you need is a good lay and all your relationship problems will be solved, why did you push away the woman who was willing and interested in you?
Because she wanted more than sex, something I couldn't give her. Why would I want to be responsible for someone's unhappiness? There's plenty of that already.
You should never pay to hit it, the world is full of women..one's that will easily throw their "box" at you. It's right there for you to hit, you just gotta step up to the plate.
I used to live the EU (Not far from Amsterdam as well), I know tempting it is out there. There are so many places where you can pay for it easily (legally) and its done but trust me it's much more fulfilling to just crack a broad hard.
The world is full of women but it's much easier and quicker to pay for it. And I'm the one in charge.
I just wanted to try it because the curiosity is getting bigger and bigger.
Sorry I haven't read all the thread but from the last few pages it appears you didn't tell her and you're thinking about paying for it. I don't know, I'm in two minds about this. One side says yes, just go pay for it and get it out of the way but the other side says you are throwing away an opportunity. I mean, if there are no physical barriers and you meet someone who is interested in you then you will have a much stronger bond to her if you lose your virginity to her. Maybe that is what you are scared of, giving that much control to another person. Think about it, you have rationalised the fact that you have remained a virgin by stating that you decided that is the way it is going to be (your decision). You are thinking of paying for it because you can maintain control - "I'm the one in charge"- very telling. I think you have taken what you saw as rejection when you were younger and turned it into something that you have control over in order to preserve your self esteem, now you can't give up that control. If you reject any advances then you can keep that construct alive and it remains in your control.
Personally, if I were in that womans shoes and you treated me like that, I would think it was about me and it would crush me. That is an awful thing to do to someone just to preserve your own ego. On the other hand if you came to me the next day and explained it to me, I would be so happy that it wasn't about me that I would forgive instantly and probably set about teaching you a thing or two. You missed a great opportunity there, you should learn from it and not make the same mistake again. Force yourself to take a chance..nothing ventured, nothing gained.
The world is full of women but it's much easier and quicker to pay for it. And I'm the one in charge.
I just wanted to try it because the curiosity is getting bigger and bigger.
Very telling. You'll be the one "in charge" of what, exactly?
Last edited by boodhabunny; 08-05-2011 at 03:47 AM..
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