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Okay. That is sensible. Someone makes a concious decision only to find out later on that he made the wrong decision.
To say it is an accident is something I don't agree... "You slept with my sister?"
"Yeah, it was an accident."
"So you are telling me you accidently fell into my sister, and out of my siter and into my sister and out of my siter 38 times?"
lol...I think there is miscommunication ocurring here...
Making a mistake is fudging up at work based on incorrect information or the lask of knowledge...messing up on a recipe...getting corn on the cob instead of coleslaw...
Again when it comes to infidelity the two parties involved already know they are doing something immoral, therefore the secrecy, lies and so forth, they already know it is wrong and yet they continue to do so until they either get caught or finally decide to leave their partners...
Upon getting caught and knowing all of a sudden that divorce does not look so hot, then it is called a mistake? lol..I don' think so...
where did I say in my post that it was an accident? It wasn't it was a conscience decision to commit adultery...therefore no mistake nor an accident...The mistake may have happened when they got sloppy and started slipping nd making errors therefore leading them to get caught..
Someone can lose their way and make the wrong choices for whatever reasons. A mistake has now been made. That it was a mistake does not excuse the behavior. Mistakes and excuses are two completely different things. In my own little piece of the world I have never seen someone honestly admit they made a mistake and then also try and use that it was a mistake as an excuse. Nor are all cheaters cut from the same cloth or have done the same things. Some are much worse than others in how and what they did. There is no one suit fits all.
I sometimes tire of the holier than thou people here who see all the world as black and white and act as if they never made an error in judgement, they never lost sight of truth, never lost their way. It happens to everyone including good people who know the difference in between right and wrong. We admit our mistakes, we learn from them, we deal with the consequences of them, we move on. And no, I made it through decades of marriage without cheating but I do recognize that good people make mistakes sometimes. So long as they admit them, and right their mistakes as best they can I am not so special in my rightness that I cant forgive them.
Anyone who claims "once a cheater, always a cheater" is either bitter about the opposite sex or else they've been cheated on.
I never have believed it. People can and do change.
They can and do indeed. mistakes usually bring lessons that we can learn from. and Relationships and emotions have many dynamics.
I have always been a believer in second chances, where reasonable. Because the hardest thing to change is aspect's of one's self. To do it successfully takes courage, persistence and strength. The real strength then comes from maintaining the change.
I believe V8 was introduced because of those closet Juice drinkers that were beating the **** out of the casual Veggie juicers that inhabited early San Fransisco.
My SO's dad and my SO's mom were, admittedly by all parties, not the loves of one anothers' lives. They were two people who dated in college, and, had an unplanned pregnancy not occurred, would doubtless have dated briefly, parted ways, and gone on with their lives. Unfortunately, times being what they were, and cultures being what they were in their lives, they allowed their families to pressure them into an ill-advised marriage. They allowed societal pressures to convince them to try and make the best of things, and to this end, attempted to do the family thing for the next dozen years, producing two more sons in the meantime. Never really "took," though. SO's dad hired a much younger legal secretary at his work, and for years, they maintained a friendship that became increasingly inappropriate. Eventually, SO's mom and dad split up, and he was free to be with his legal secretary, touted as the love of his life. They married, and eventually had a daughter. About a decade in, SO's dad met a new love of his life...a 27-year old PR assistant helping with a case at his firm. Because this woman is the love of his life, he left the previous love of his life and their daughter, and he and his new lady love moved away together. They've been together for about three years, give or take (two, openly). We recently learned that he's proposed. It's kind of anybody's best guess as to how long it will be before the next "love of his life" makes herself known. At some point, it becomes a pattern.
Cheated on her with me, by the way. I was his mistress for over a year until he finally divorced her and married me. He always tells me I'm the love of his life, which is how I feel about him also.
And for those who may say "it will never work out-once a cheater, always a cheater", I'm here to just say that THAT typical response isn't always true. Married 6 blissful years and counting.
Just wanted to let you guys know that a cheater isn't always unfaithful.
I do agree with this. I think most people feel a sense of injustice in seeing an adulterer happy with his lover, but I've known at least one couple that was extremely happy together, and they were both in marriages when their affair started. Honestly, even though people knew about their little taboo trysts, they eventually grew on people as a couple. Most people just accepted that they were meant to be together and that they weren't happy with their previous marriages. I don't think that opinion was universal, of course -- I'm sure the families involved and their friends have an entirely different perspective on this, but ultimately, the marriage succeeded, and they seemed quite happy right up until the day she died (about two years ago now).
Having said that, though, I would wager that this is not the norm. I mean no offense, and far be it from me to start lecturing people on their indiscretions as I've done things I'm not necessarily proud of either, but having an affair is just a bad way to deal with marital problems.
Location: Visitation between Wal-Mart & Home Depot
8,309 posts, read 38,799,298 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stop Staring at my Ass!!
Cheated on her with me, by the way. I was his mistress for over a year until he finally divorced her and married me. He always tells me I'm the love of his life, which is how I feel about him also.
And for those who may say "it will never work out-once a cheater, always a cheater", I'm here to just say that THAT typical response isn't always true. Married 6 blissful years and counting.
Just wanted to let you guys know that a cheater isn't always unfaithful.
That's good. He may never cheat on you, but you do know that there's a line he's willing to cross if he's not getting what he needs and I'll bet you have to think twice if he answers his cell and says "Sorry, wrong number" or if the guys are having a get together or he's going fishing/camping/hiking/biking/hunting/golfing for the weekend.
I fully accept that people change and the reason he was cheating may well have been that the first marriage was simply to the wrong person, but "once a cheater, always a cheater" is cliche for a reason (as is "the seven year itch")
Cheated on her with me, by the way. I was his mistress for over a year until he finally divorced her and married me. He always tells me I'm the love of his life, which is how I feel about him also.
And for those who may say "it will never work out-once a cheater, always a cheater", I'm here to just say that THAT typical response isn't always true. Married 6 blissful years and counting.
Just wanted to let you guys know that a cheater isn't always unfaithful.
1: to blunder in the choice of <mistook her way in the dark>
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