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Hi Robyn, I've a new PT job for the past couple weeks, leaving me much less time for CD. Sounds like you are doing well, holding your own with TJ. How about calling Lindsey's dr, asking for a prescription to cover her until their next free Saturday appt, then let TJ take her, since it is during his "daddy" time. Will this force him to pay for the visit too?
I personally would like to be at every visit myself, but it's an idea which would solve the "who's taking her" problem...I'm sure the dr would prescribe just enough meds to tide her over until an upcoming appt.
I'm off to bed, but thinking of you daily... (bet you didn't think I could do "short" posts!)
Hi Robyn, I've a new PT job for the past couple weeks, leaving me much less time for CD. Sounds like you are doing well, holding your own with TJ. How about calling Lindsey's dr, asking for a prescription to cover her until their next free Saturday appt, then let TJ take her, since it is during his "daddy" time. Will this force him to pay for the visit too?
I personally would like to be at every visit myself, but it's an idea which would solve the "who's taking her" problem...I'm sure the dr would prescribe just enough meds to tide her over until an upcoming appt.
I'm off to bed, but thinking of you daily... (bet you didn't think I could do "short" posts!)
Drs around here dont do Sat appts.... he just called her in the tide her over med til today......I sure wish he was there on tues, I could just take her myself...
When she doesn't have this med, she gets in a bad place. For her, its like a mood enhancer, it levels her out. Somehow. What it is used for is an anticonvulsant. But it is for her Aspergers....Jim just wants her to go without it and have me find her another dr, in another city, like a specialist can take someone on with the flip of a switch...crazy a$$
At least he's not challenging your decision to continue giving her the medication... yet.
Maybe one of the doctors in your office can talk to Lindsey's doctor and prescribe the medication for her until you can get off work? (Yeah...right )
You should be able to reschedule and get another temporary refill until it's more convenient for you. What if your car broke down?
Doctors are often able to squeeze another patient in, you know how it works...the squeaky wheel gets the grease.
Does Alexander's toe need medical attention....does Jim know? Will he help?
At least he's not challenging your decision to continue giving her the medication... yet.
Maybe one of the doctors in your office can talk to Lindsey's doctor and prescribe the medication for her until you can get off work? (Yeah...right )
You should be able to reschedule and get another temporary refill until it's more convenient for you. What if your car broke down?
Doctors are often able to squeeze another patient in, you know how it works...the squeaky wheel gets the grease.
Does Alexander's toe need medical attention....does Jim know? Will he help?
I am keeping a close eye on his toe, but, I think it will need med attn. Right now keeping it clean, anitbiotic ointment, bandaid, etc...
Jim will have to take him, and I will write this down. I couldn't believe it, the child was sitting there writhing in pain at church and i was like what is the matter, and it was his toe. It is starting to look better, but in a place like that, which can harbor bacteria, it can get bad, quick.
Soooo...I am like the over protective Mom, let me see your toe, bring your toe over here...
Of course he keeps bumping it on things, reinjuring where it was all cut open.
GGGRRRRR
Js behavior is rediculous re her appt. I suppose all things that are to happen during the week are to be my responsibility, and he can play during the weekend, and when they need to be fed, he can rely on his mom or sister...
What a putz J is Robyn. Why the heck is he performing surgery on Alex's foot? And now he doesn't even want to look after his daughter's health? Keep note of all this for the hearing, just in case it's needed. He's really doing some damaging stuff here. I can't believe a father would be that way with his own children! My gosh, I'd do ANYTHING if my daughter were needing medical attention. You're pulling all of the load in raising these children Robyn; you're an outstanding mother and those two kids are so lucky that they have you. J is a selfish, knuckle-dragging bonehead and is looking to duck out from under his responsibility, IMO. I'm sorry for the rant, I just can't stand these type of people.
Robyn - Does Lindsay's doc know you and TJ are now separated? If you called and told them about the situation, do you think they will approve the refills and let you schedule another appointment on one of your half days? BTW - another thing to document where TJ was not willing to "bend" regarding something with one of the kids. (I also suspect if HE had them during the week, he would still think it was your responsibility regarding the doctor appointment). Oh...I just re-read your note and saw where the doc isn't in on Tuesdays......As sun suggested - could one of the docs you work with talk to Lindsay's doc, get info, etc., then see her until you can get this stuff resolved? Any chance you can change your half day to a different day of the week so you can schedule the appointments for Lindsay on that day?
Make sure you document Alexander's "self-surgery" that was allowed by TJ, take him to a doctor and have it documented in the chart - as you said the toe is no place to have an untreated infection. The documentation "shows" what type of parenting TJ does.
If he needs paperwork from your lawyer - keep sticking to your guns with the "have your lawyer talk to my lawyer" ANYTHING regarding ANY "legalities" should now be done this way. If he doesn't have a lawyer, then he will just have to get one, no discussion on this issue. Keep "clicking" whenever he brings up anything having to do with any of the legal issues.
TJ is still trying to control things, as evidenced by his unwillingness to take Lindsay to the doctor. (BTW, do extra "things added" equate to his getting paid more in his job?). TJ is making things extra-difficult for you in the hopes that you will see how "foolish" you were in leaving and he's going to keep trying to throw monkey wrenches at you. Thankfully, you are strong, you know you did the right thing and you won't fall for any of his shennigans...at some point he will hopefully realize that, but be prepared for it to take a long time.
It will be interesting to see if he calls tonight to see how Lindsay made out with her meds..........
Syn...TJ had Alexander do the surgery on his foot... Tj could have easily clipped his nail, and he wouldn't have this big gash in it.
Windchimes....I told Lindsays drs office about the situation, and that is why she got in touch w the dr on his day off and they auth what they did, normally they would not have even called him. I will have to take off time next Thurs for the mediation and I may have to just call the drs office back and see if they will call in more til that day, and see if they will see her then. I will have them doc it that he would not bring her.
Alexanders toe. It looks better, it looks worse. Hmmm....
Yes, he is trying to be controlling, he says i put myself in this position. He would love to help me, but he cant. Its not me he would be helping, its his kids. Wouldn't matter if they were here or there. Wouldn't matter if I were here or there.
he is footloose and fancy free right now. He makes overtime out the wazoo.... I dont know if it can be counted in the courts, and I think this is why he wants to look at the first agreement we did so badly.
My lawyer says that if it is consistant OT it may be able to be counted, and it is consistant.
He keeps saying to me, what about our income down the road, you have had extra schooling, I have not......you have the potential to m,ake more money..
he is insane. Really I do not. He is a truck driver. he can take an over the road position and be home on the weekends and make tons of money, but as he has said before, he will quit his job and flip burgers, so i will have to pay him, this was in re to spousal support....ugh.
heehee, I tried some stuff on my old timey rigged up shower this morning, cross your fingers...lol
may have to get a new shower head and some new rigging material, we'll see.
The shower head doesn't put out much water, making the time in the shower 50k years.
Soooo...I tried to turn that bad boy, it is supposed to be the kid you can put in different modes or whatever, but its old...so we will see, also, I arranged it so the water will fall down in a different area, may need to get some more little thingies for that. LOL
Lindsay broke the back door yesterday, they will fix that.
She has to have an IEP right away, because right now she gets home a few mins before Alexander, and TJ is having a fit, and I am too... but, I think he will try to use it as ammo against me.
I told the people at school that this is an asap situation and I told them my situation and i told tham a bit about him. Booger.
Ok, off to work, have a wonderful day.... Love to you all!
Its not me he would be helping, its his kids. Wouldn't matter if they were here or there. Wouldn't matter if I were here or there.
BINGO! You're intelligent, Robyn - you see through the veil for what it is. He is doing exactly what windchimes said, he's still trying to yank your chain and make you see how "foolish" it is for you to be away from him. Follow windchimes advice Robyn; very good stuff.
And yes, have those boxes unpacked! We don't want 1 year old moths flying out of there on http://re3.mm-a11.yimg.com/image/107687397 (broken link)palooza!
Robyn - What kind of extra schooling did you have? This could be an important question and something to discuss with your lawyer. Depending on whether the extra schooling resulted in a certificate/diploma or a degree, at least in NYS, it could figure into a settlement.
His remark about flippin' burgers should also be documented - shows his mindset. He still should not get "off the hook" regarding child support. I would HOPE that if he left his job as a trucker to flip burgers the legal system would see it for what it is.
It sounds like you have a plan for Lindsay's meds, hopefully her doctor will be willing to go with the new plan.
Robyn - I hope you see how well you are handling this. Regarding Lindsay and her meds - "plan A" (TJ taking her) didn't work out, so you have come up with a "plan B" - that's something for you to recognize and be proud of. You didn't curl up in a ball and say "I just can't do this" - you kept thinking and came up with an alternative - that shows, to me at least, that you are DEFINITELY a survivor (along with everything else you've been through).....Survivors tend to keep going, one foot in front of the other, when an obstacle is put in front of them, they step over or around it and keep moving forward - that is what you are doing and that is what you are teaching your kids to do. They may not realize all that is going on now, but as they get older and find themselves in a situation they don't like, I'd be willing to bet one of their first thoughts will be "Okay, so.....what would Mom do" and will find their way - you are giving them a wonderful gift by showing no matter how hard things get, you just keep pressing on and finding alternatives....don't ever forget that!
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McGyverette
