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As for documentation- although the tape recording of conversations can be hairy with regard to admissibility in court, many times a mediator or a guardian ad litem or other mental health professional will listen to them.
A friend of mine was involved in a custody dispute and his ex wife was making several threats to him on the phone. He recorded these and played them for the assigned intermediator (at her request) and they were instrumental in her decision to give him custody of the child. Fortunately these pros know that people are on their "best behavior" in front of them and are willing to see/hear proof of their real personalities.
Just tread lightly when mentioning it. Claim to be overwhelmed by things he says and use that as the reason for recording-
As for documentation- although the tape recording of conversations can be hairy with regard to admissibility in court, many times a mediator or a guardian ad litem or other mental health professional will listen to them.
A friend of mine was involved in a custody dispute and his ex wife was making several threats to him on the phone. He recorded these and played them for the assigned intermediator (at her request) and they were instrumental in her decision to give him custody of the child. Fortunately these pros know that people are on their "best behavior" in front of them and are willing to see/hear proof of their real personalities.
Just tread lightly when mentioning it. Claim to be overwhelmed by things he says and use that as the reason for recording-
he recorded me, i did not record him.... I think back to it, and it is crazy. The things he recorded, his rage and our arguements, he was making no sense at all..... whatever...
Back to rage. Ok, so last friday he was raging on the phone, and over the weekend he was ok, so today is Tuesday and he is back to rage, he should level out by the weekend when he gets the kids.
I had to talk to him about Lindsays drs appt again today, it is for Thursday at 330. He was being a butt. I told him he was not sick, so I suppose that is why he was being a booger and i would talk to him another time about it, click.
Robyn, We have all watched you grow strong and most of the advise given is given with love and concern, your response was great and I admire you for that.
Maybe it is time to change the name, from cynderobyn to robyn.
I dont know, I have been cinderobyn since the kids were little thangs. LOL Stems from the caregiving of my Gma... I like it, actually...
All of you are good friends to me, and call me Robyn, so its all good....
~~~~~~
he called around 7pm to tell me that he got his subpeona today. It had a court date for custody, Nov 19, and a date for mediation, Sept 20.
I have yet to recieve anything, so i will call the courthouse tomorrow, or walk over there.
He went from that to telling me that he had a dream of me last night, he dreamed that we were having sex and dont I have urges? NO
I told him his conversation was inappropriate.
He keeps on, before that, about wanting a copy of the original separation agreement that the 2 of us made up, before he signs the one my lawyer made up. He wants me to go there, get it, and bring it to him. I said I would not, that his lawyer can ask my lawyer for a copy, he said that would cost him money.
i asked if he HAS a lawyer, because things like this ned to be dealt with in that manner, especialy if he wants counsel to review both things to make sure he is not(his words) getting screwed.
Whatever. Told him....gotta go, kids need dinner. Click.
Dreams of sex with me. Good grief. Hello? McFly?
Earlier today he was arguing w me over the fact that i need to find Lindsay a new dr, even if it means going 45-1hour further. So that I can take her on my half day. I need to call this office and let them know the circumstance.
I said you just need to take her. She is out of meds...(has refills) but they expired as far as length of time...
I work in the medical field, I know how this works...oh like they care...no, you have got to be seen. She was not taken to her last appt. I did not rs her, because I thought we would be moving to NC, but we only moved across town.
Well you need to call them.... shoot. again,.....McFly???!?!?!
Oh well... Alexander is in the shower, and Lindsay is done... he got the Playstation 2 hooked up and friend Cs daughter will start getting off the bus here tomorrow.
They have a schedule to follow...I think it will work out good. I think it will kind of diffuse Alexander and Lindsay with a third person here... they get to the point of aggrevating eaother...
I am rambling on... Good night my friends.... (((hugs))))))
Oh Robyn - I had to laugh when I saw that "CLICKCLICKCLICK" - You're getting good at that - keep it up!
I find it soooo interesting that TJ is adamant about wanting the kids every weekend, but if something needs to be done during the week (like Lindsay's appointment) he gives you a hard time about taking her himself. It shows he's still "rooted" in the pre-move mindset - I'm sure before, you would have taken care of it and not "bothered him" with it?
The dream - typical TJ and still trying to mess with your head....actually those dreams are quite common after a breakup for both men and women and don't really mean diddly-squat. Who knows, in his mind telling you about it may be his way of trying "woo" you to come back....it is interesting how his mind works....Good for you telling him that conversation was inappropriate!
And triple good for you for telling him that his lawyer needs to talk to your lawyer! His financial "problems" aren't your concern - he can either get his own lawyer or not - not your problem and it sounds like you pretty much told him that - good for you!
IMO, he's still having problems realizing this new living situation is for real. Eventually he will hopefully realize and accept that. It's just going to take him awhile.
Just a little tidbit from my past - I had court-ordered child support for my son. My ex fell behind and I had to take him to court to get it paid back - He told the judge that he just didn't have the money - he had remarried and had two children with his "new" wife, had their living expenses, etc., and just couldn't pay it. The judge looked at him (I'll never forget this) and said, "Sir, you also have a child with this woman who needs to be taken care of. Frankly, I don't care about your new family - you need to take care of your son....and BTW, you also will be paying this woman's lawyer's fee for having to be here.....and you're lucky I'm not telling you to pay her for her lost wages in having to come to court." Miraculously, the money for the back child support appeared, as did the fee for my lawyer...and I never had another problem getting the child support.
I'm not sure why I told that story, other than to let you see there may be some hurdles with child support payments, etc., but they do work out. My son's father only had him every other weekend, not every weekend.....
Stay strong, Robyn.......everything will work out, keep "clicking" when needed....Oh - I also saw your note about Arthur and the fan - interesting how that timing worked out, wasn't it?
Oh Robyn - I had to laugh when I saw that "CLICKCLICKCLICK" - You're getting good at that - keep it up!
I find it soooo interesting that TJ is adamant about wanting the kids every weekend, but if something needs to be done during the week (like Lindsay's appointment) he gives you a hard time about taking her himself. It shows he's still "rooted" in the pre-move mindset - I'm sure before, you would have taken care of it and not "bothered him" with it?
The dream - typical TJ and still trying to mess with your head....actually those dreams are quite common after a breakup for both men and women and don't really mean diddly-squat. Who knows, in his mind telling you about it may be his way of trying "woo" you to come back....it is interesting how his mind works....Good for you telling him that conversation was inappropriate!
And triple good for you for telling him that his lawyer needs to talk to your lawyer! His financial "problems" aren't your concern - he can either get his own lawyer or not - not your problem and it sounds like you pretty much told him that - good for you!
IMO, he's still having problems realizing this new living situation is for real. Eventually he will hopefully realize and accept that. It's just going to take him awhile.
Just a little tidbit from my past - I had court-ordered child support for my son. My ex fell behind and I had to take him to court to get it paid back - He told the judge that he just didn't have the money - he had remarried and had two children with his "new" wife, had their living expenses, etc., and just couldn't pay it. The judge looked at him (I'll never forget this) and said, "Sir, you also have a child with this woman who needs to be taken care of. Frankly, I don't care about your new family - you need to take care of your son....and BTW, you also will be paying this woman's lawyer's fee for having to be here.....and you're lucky I'm not telling you to pay her for her lost wages in having to come to court." Miraculously, the money for the back child support appeared, as did the fee for my lawyer...and I never had another problem getting the child support.
I'm not sure why I told that story, other than to let you see there may be some hurdles with child support payments, etc., but they do work out. My son's father only had him every other weekend, not every weekend.....
Stay strong, Robyn.......everything will work out, keep "clicking" when needed....Oh - I also saw your note about Arthur and the fan - interesting how that timing worked out, wasn't it?
Cant post long, have to go to work and lindsay just called, Mommy I need my gym uni...LOL...
Yep, i took care of those things,appts, he will sware up and down he did it...
Out of his mind. Take care, I have an out of the shower 'Do' and lindsay needs her clothes, good thing her school is right on the way...
I called the court to verify the date and time of the court date and mediation.
Mediation 092007 1050 am
Custody hearing 111907 830am
The kids have not heard from him today, guess i will start marking all of this stuff down, I looked for an agenda type thing yesterday but they cost too much for what i am looking for, just going to use a spiral notebook and date it or something.
Someone mentioned me copying the checks he gives me, did that last week.
He still may call, don't know. he normally calls by now. hmmm
Well...I called him, had to know if he was taking Lindsay to her appt tomorrow.
That would be a big fat no.
He said ya know, i would love to help you out, but you brought this situation about onto your ownself.
I told him that either way ONE of us would have to take her to the dr and she is Both of our responsibility.
He wont be home til 3 he says. I will be home at 6, this he knows. Tomorrow is what we call a NC day, he gets home early, in most cases he gets home at 1, he says some things were added to his route.
Her appt is for 330. I say well, what is she supposed to do for medicine?
I dont know, he says, that is something you have to figure out. Why dont you just take off early tomorrow?
He has no logic. I dont think he was going to call here tonight. he normally calls before i get home from work.
CLICK.
Calls back. Did you get that pw from your lawyer? nope. Making the kids dinner. Well I need that paperwork. I won't sign your paperwork until I have this other paperwork.
Ok, making dinner, CLICK.
So, he doesn't sign the separation agreement. It would be to his benefit, if he actually read the thing.
Alexanders toe looks to be getting infected, where jim let him do this ingrown toenail surgery on his foot this past weekend.
Either way, as of 090107, we are separated.
Whatever. I find myself saying that a lot lately...whatever.
LOL...
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