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Ok, so you got me reading this post and I have to apologize for not being there more for you. I know you give me credit for keeping you strong, but I have to say, reading these posts, you have made some amazing friends and supporters. I love you my friend and know how happy you and those wonderful kids are in your "House of Chimes" (that is so you).
Sorry for M today, she was totally being a bugger. Found out when she came home she hadn't had her meds this morning. Finally got her homework done, was fast asleep at 8. Think we'll be taking a break tomorrow, but she did want L to stay over, right?
And you know i'll gladly share my "McGuyver" skills with you for whatever you need.
Anyways.....a special shoutout and a great big THANK YOU to all your wonderful friends here, you all sound like an awesome bunch!!
See ya in the morning Forrest....I'll be the one slumped in my chair
MsV - You are so right TJ is going to be shocked when he goes to the mediator - Robyn is much smarter and more savvy than he realizes. I wish I could be a fly on the wall...hmmm, no smily for an "evil grin" so insert on here....
I'm not sure what to think about TJ and squirreling money away vs just blowing it. He strikes me as being "sneaky" enough to have squirreled some away, but he also strikes me as being one who likes to "impress"....didn't he furnish ribs or something for some BBQ at a friend's? I don't remember now....
I've been through two divorces and before marrying my current husband (yes, #3, but definitely a keeper this time around), dated quite a few guys. I learned a lot, not only through the divorces, but the dating. I learned a lot of "games" stbx's play, games those who are dating play, etc. I've always found human behavior to be fascinating <g>. I also learned a lot about the games a lot of women play....it's not always the men who are the "baddies". In Robyn/TJ's case, though, the guy is definitely the one who needs to have his bubble burst and burst big-time and when he least expects it....like during the session with the mediator.........
kalogirl - Hi kalogirl - you must be one of Robyn's "real life" friends! How nice to see/meet you! Robyn is a fantastic woman and so very, very strong in spite of all the crap that gets thrown at her....but I'm sure you don't need us to tell you that
Sounds like you've had a rough day and need a good night's sleep, sooooo.....sleep well with pleasant dreams!
Welcome Kalogirl! Wondering how you picked that "name" ~ so happy Robyn has someone like you in real life to support her ~ she is one special young woman!
My hats off to all single parents for providing warmth and stability in your children's lives. Rest easy tonight!
Ok, so you got me reading this post and I have to apologize for not being there more for you. I know you give me credit for keeping you strong, but I have to say, reading these posts, you have made some amazing friends and supporters. I love you my friend and know how happy you and those wonderful kids are in your "House of Chimes" (that is so you).
Sorry for M today, she was totally being a bugger. Found out when she came home she hadn't had her meds this morning. Finally got her homework done, was fast asleep at 8. Think we'll be taking a break tomorrow, but she did want L to stay over, right?
And you know i'll gladly share my "McGuyver" skills with you for whatever you need.
Anyways.....a special shoutout and a great big THANK YOU to all your wonderful friends here, you all sound like an awesome bunch!!
See ya in the morning Forrest....I'll be the one slumped in my chair
Everyone, intro to my strong friend at work...C... My best good friend...
She is my in the flesh keep me strong one... I love her to pieces! She is close to me down the road, and I have liked her from the day I have met her. She taught me my job at work, and neither of us get paid enough, but we both work too much! ;(
When I cry, she lifts me. Dont let him do this to you, she says. She is my real life 'you'
The House of Chimes is so quiet. I have not been waking like I used to at all hours like I did in the house of shackles and chains.
It was the first thing I noticed. No big trucks roaring by, no kids load music boom boom boom, even this late.
Just the quiet.
He called here last night finally, didn't think he would...I could here the phone beeping, but I was on the other line, with C.
An impt conversation. A friend of ours, the one who gave Alexander his bed, her dd had major surgery...prayers to P please.
He left a rotten message on the vm. Ya know, I should just let the phone ring from now on, and some how record all that crap.
Oh what...I guess you just didn't want to let the kids talk to me so you didn't answer the phone. Did you get those papers. I want those papers tomorrow. Blah blah blah, on and on and on.
In such a rude manner, a harsh tone. I called him back and told him that like it was any of his business, I was on the other line and the kids were eating dinner.
he asked me if I took Lindsay to the dr...I said no...did you? he said no, and I wont be going to. It wouldn't have made sense for me to take her...
Again...McFly?
MsV...I think what I will be looking for the most is his negligence in the kids. I know I have mentioned so many thigs on this thread, but even more on the Wheres the love. Even just the little things, but the thing is...they are dated., when they happen, I posted, they are all dated. So, this weekend, I will be looking through. Good grief, thats a lot of looking. Think I will make it to the laundromat?
LOL maybe I will need the wine the O2 Rep was telling me about...nah..
With TJ it is all about the money, I dont think anything is REALLY about the kids.
He stayed on the phone with Alexander forever last night. talking about taking him on a 'run' I was sitting here thinking this man is out of his mind.
He would #1 Be doing a hustle...because his work does not work on the weekend...#2 Have my son in a rig...#3 Where would Lindsay be?
Crazy man. I had to ask Alexander to get off the phone 3x. I hated to do that, because really it is not fair to him. (I need to go back to the day he said he was afraid, it was the first week of school)
Alexander needed to be getting ready for school. Now last weekend, when I was talking to him, Alexander said, ok mommy, I need to wrap this up, bye. and the phone was dead. I wanted to call Jim back, but I didn't. I let stupid dogs lie.
Dumb a$$
But it made me mad. So..I just had to get over it.
C is one lean mean McGyver machine... I am glad she came to meet you all (Kalogirl)
Back to bed for me I suppose.....wonder what shuke is doing?
He says that good girls are better if they know how to act like s l u t s. lmao
I sort of hope that Jim doesn't sign that agreement because you might deserve more than what your lawyer has drawn up.
Jim is asking for more now because a good offense makes for a good defense, to award you even less in the end.
So if he doesn't sign, maybe that just goes to show that he's selfish, greedy, uncooperative and not negotiating in good faith. And it opens the door for you to maybe receive more from him.
Are you happy with your lawyer and do you think that he is willing to fight hard enough for you? Do you have any doubts about him?
I know that you really only wanted custody, but you can see that by refusing to sign, Jim is trying to get better terms.
I'm sort of afraid that you might miss more work down the road than you realize while caring for the kids, and then that will cost you more money too.
Meanwhile Jim is trying to provide even less.
Giving him these IRS deductions doesn't really sound good when you could use them to help with your relatively high expenses, while he has overtime, the 401K, (while you paid the past expenses of the braces, clothes, etc).
A sudden repair bill can really impact your budget. Aren't you worried about any contingencies?
If this agreement is what you really want, then I understand. But I'm surprised that your lawyer isn't trying harder for you right now, instead of putting off fighting for you until later...if at all?
By Jim not signing, at least there's a chance that the agreement can be improved upon....sooner.
Keeping the faith.
Sun, I think of that, and I think of just telling him to give me the agreements back, all three copies. he wants to make changes anyway...
Maybe he can go to HIS fake made up whatever lawyer and have one made up and I can do what he has been doing..no, I am not like that.
I may just ask for them back, just tell him that it was a very just and fair agreement, even more just for him, and if he doesn't like it, I will just keep it, he can have one made up by his lawyer, and he can pay for it, opposed to me having to pay for it, or ya know, the judge can decide.
Everyone knows my fear. The kids. I have no reason to believe that he would preside over me in having the kids, but it still lingers. The control and the power he has had over me and his words for all of these years still linger in my mind.
I know they mean nothing, but with this, the emotional abuse, I guess it just takes a while, I dont know. And he acts like it was never done, and how can I prove it?
And he is right. How can I prove it. I can't.
Now, with all of this everything is all your fault because you did this to us... nope, I am not taking that. I know what he did to us. Heck, I can still feel it. When I have the feeling of, what if he tries to take the kids. His power and control, the issues of it come back to me, haunting me. It haunts me. How long will it haunt me, I have no idea.
But it is there.
Yes, if he doesn't sign, I can have some things changed, he already wants something changed ....the fact that he does not want to pay for any of their medical care, although he does have them on insurance. Wouldn't take Lindsay to the dr.
Lindsay is coughing right now. I think she is sick from the visit with him last week. He was sick. Still is a bit sick. Should they even go? I dont think so, Yesterday he complained that he had fevers and he should go to the ER, and he couldn't take her to the dr. But then he said he completed a full days work.
Ya know, I think I will just ask him to bring me the papers since he said he wanted to make changes, and have him have some drawn up. If he wants to, he can, and if I want to make changes I can.
We go before the judge on November 19, we go to Mediation on Sept 20.
I dont think he will show his true self...I think he will be outside Jim. Just like he is to everyone else. Except for the time in BurgerKing when he pushed us all aside and yelled at us to go and sit down, back in NC... Yep, he showed his true self then, but who where those people? Who worked that day? What Burger King was that? What were we wearing? What did you eat? Who saw it happen?
You know the drill. We were in Sanford Nc. If I had a calander in front of me I could tell you the exact date. There were Mexicans working... thats what I know. It was a Sunday.. I will never forget Alexanders words...
Mommy, why does daddy do this to us? Why is he so mean, with the tears in his eyes.
I say I dont know, I am sorry, but never again will you be the dirt beneath his feet. I made a promise to my child that day, and we are here, in The House of Chimes.
What will he pull out of his hat, have no clue, just have to get my hat ready.
Last edited by Pikantari; 09-14-2007 at 05:19 AM..
Reason: I cannot spell...eeek really I can, but here, i can't...geez o mighty!
Ok, so you got me reading this post and I have to apologize for not being there more for you. I know you give me credit for keeping you strong, but I have to say, reading these posts, you have made some amazing friends and supporters. I love you my friend and know how happy you and those wonderful kids are in your "House of Chimes" (that is so you).
Sorry for M today, she was totally being a bugger. Found out when she came home she hadn't had her meds this morning. Finally got her homework done, was fast asleep at 8. Think we'll be taking a break tomorrow, but she did want L to stay over, right?
And you know i'll gladly share my "McGuyver" skills with you for whatever you need.
Anyways.....a special shoutout and a great big THANK YOU to all your wonderful friends here, you all sound like an awesome bunch!!
See ya in the morning Forrest....I'll be the one slumped in my chair
Hi kalogirl! I was a little perplexed reading your post this morning until MsV pointed it out and then our girl Robyn came in and gave your identity away.
We all thank God Robyn has a person like you in her life. Thank you so much for being there and just being who you are. Robyn is very, very fortunate to have a great friend like you and we're all fortunate to have "met" Robyn.
Thanks for the welcome all. MsV, in answer to your question, kinda strange, but when my niece was old enough to talk, she couldn't say my name (Carol), it came out as Kalo....since then, thats what everyone calls me.
I totally agree with Sun, and can tell you from experience. It may feel like right now you just want support, but trust me, later down the road, you'll realize that what you're asking for isn't anything. You can't think about how this would impact TJ (I so love that name), but how to best take care of your kids. And that is what it's all about! I would stop having these debates with him and filter everything through your lawyer, that is what you're paying him for. Unless he has something to say relating to the kids, the less contact you have with him, the better it will be for you.
Gotta love that.....click click click click
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In the middle of the night...
(Kalogirl)
