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look at the spousal support as "back pay" for the times you paid all the bills and didn't have money to buy expensive cigars and go out with friends as ib has done in the past.
If you are entitled to spousal support, by all means take it. Jim is trying to nickel and dime you to death as it is. Charged you for a new shirt for A. Outrageous! In the past, you had to use your 401 k to pay for dental braces. Safeguard yourself in any unforeseen future events. If Jim wants to "go dutch" on the expenses, he can pay spousal support. Robyn, I'm glad you're posting.
If you are entitled to spousal support, by all means take it. Jim is trying to nickel and dime you to death as it is. Charged you for a new shirt for A. Outrageous! In the past, you had to use your 401 k to pay for dental braces. Safeguard yourself in any unforeseen future events. If Jim wants to "go dutch" on the expenses, he can pay spousal support. Robyn, I'm glad you're posting.
Most do. Mine is supposed to pay 75% medical, yet I'm lucky to see a dime.
btw Robyn, make sure you get a medical clause as well as income tax deduction, which is very important. Since they live with you most of the time, you take the kids using head of household but he can also claim them at the same time. When you get remarried, it should switch to one claiming on odd / the other even since you won't be able to claim head of household.
I went to intake and did support for both kids, with him paying for all medical insurance, and the lady checked the part where we are to pay what is left over 50/50.
I did not do spousal support. I know it seems as though I should have, but this form she was doing, it was a subpeona. He will recieve it as he did the other time, only that he knew he was getting it.
I will explain how I feel about the spousal...in the past, he has made such a big deal over it and so forth.
Right now, neither one of us has any custody over the kids. Sure, they physically live in my house, but I do not have physical custody of them. He could come and get them today and change what school they are in, etc.
There is nothing in the law right now saying that he cannot. There is nothing in the court right now saying that he can't.
Right now, when he gets this he is going to be thinking, I am already paying her, what more does she want?
Well, I want it to go through the courts, and I want it to be in a way that he knows he HAS to pay. Right now, he can say, well there is no court order, i don't have to it.
I know this, he knows this, yes, when I get custody, if he has not done it, he will have to pay back for the times he didn't.
Spousal. I dont want him coming here and taking my kids. I know people say he doesn't want the kids blah blah blah, which is most likely true. But for now, I want the kids, and I dont want to give him illogical 'reasoning' to think he should just come and get them.
So, I asked the lady if she would see about putting this case on the same docket, Nov 19. Work is giving everyone a hard time about everything.
They want us all to work one of our half days in the mo of nov so that we may have the day after Thanksgiving off. They said this in the meeting. One day. Work one half day.
Now they are saying to Kalo two days, to make up for last year. Now they haven't said anything to me about 2 days yet, I am just waiting for it. I chose my day, and went about my day.
I heard her telling her it was to make up for last year.
That is a total bunch of crap if I have ever heard it !!!
Oh, also, he and I have to file taxes married joint as we would normally dfor the year 2007, but not after that.
My lawyer had it where he would claim the kids, but he would not sign that agreement. That agreement also waived all spousal support and gave him the kids every weekend.
I have to start paying on that ASAP. He is the one who wanted me to get that agreement right away...right away, tell the lawyer I want it this weeked, he said on like a Thursday, and he wanted it that Sat morning.
The kids are being testy. Dont want to wash the dishes. At shackles, they had to wash dishes, wash/dry/fold clothes, take out the trash, cut the grass, vacuum....
Not here. But when they are asked to do something, they take forever, til there is no time, then they start arguing....such is life. Thats right...I took a nap...me and fat cat Lucy.
Well, he did not call the kids yesterday, at all, and I called him. I was going to leave a message just to let him know that if we were going to mediate, we needed to do it, because there is a window of time in which one os allowed to do it.
He answered the phone, in a sleepy voice. How are you he says? Are you ok?
I am fine, just needed to tell you(see above) Lindsay was right there so I handed the phone over.
He wasn't going to call the kids, he was asleep. He normally calls and checks on the kids, after school, didn't do that.
He didn't call them the night before either. Hmm.
Guess its too much for him, dont know. Did well last night. All home work was done. Kids did the dishes, after arguing w eachother, etc, breaking one glass...I said just get it done w teamwork and no more arguing. You had to do a b and c at the other house, not to mention d, e and f.
They got it done, we were able to eat a nice dinner, and watch some tv, they got their showers early, all homework was done.
This morning seems good so far. No arguing, knocking on wood. knock knock. Beds made. I told them if there are dirty clothes in their bedrooms, they wont get washed. They already know this, but just a reminder, because over the weekend, I must have done 5 loads of clothes that were all over the place...gfgrrrr
Lindsay is wearing her new jeans, excitedly. Alexander doesn't care, he has on an old shirt w stains, I told him thats for cutting grass, etc, lol...whatever. not going to start an arguement, if he feels comfortable that no one will bug him at schol over it, whatever!
Oh well, just regular stuff to report. I am getting to be normal. One day... Both lights are out on the front porch...who has a ladder??? Only one was working when we moved in, now last night tried to turn it on and they are both out.
Maybe I can get someone to come over with their ladder and do all my ladder stuff at one time...whatcha think?
Good morning Robyn - Sounds like things are moving along toward Normalville <g>
I can understand your reasoning on the spousal support - once the custody issues is decided, can you then go for spousal support?
Kids are going to be kids (regarding chores) no matter where they live <g>....When they are older and on their own, they will thank you for having them do things now, but they will put up a fuss for the present and draw things out, probably hoping you will get tired of them taking so much time and will do it yourself....I know my son tried that - didn't work <g>.
By the time you file 2007 taxes, there should be a custody agreement in place? I wonder if you can file as married filing separately and claim head of household with custody of the kids? Check with an accountant. I know you usually get scr#wed filing as married filing separately, but if you can claim head of household, you may not? I dunno - If you guys normally get a refund I'd hate to see TJ keep it all...If you do file jointly, make sure it's in writing somewhere that if there is a refund you split it 50/50!
Work sounds like it's still stressing to you and I can understand why. Try not to dwell too much on work problems (I know, easier said than done) and go with the flow until the rest of your life is settled with the kids/support/etc. Then start looking around for something else.
Oh! Will your landlord change the bulbs for you? Some will and some won't, but it's worth a shot at asking him since you don't have a ladder......
I went to intake and did support for both kids, with him paying for all medical insurance, and the lady checked the part where we are to pay what is left over 50/50.
I did not do spousal support. I know it seems as though I should have, but this form she was doing, it was a subpeona. He will recieve it as he did the other time, only that he knew he was getting it.
I will explain how I feel about the spousal...in the past, he has made such a big deal over it and so forth.
Right now, neither one of us has any custody over the kids. Sure, they physically live in my house, but I do not have physical custody of them. He could come and get them today and change what school they are in, etc.
There is nothing in the law right now saying that he cannot. There is nothing in the court right now saying that he can't.
With the way things are quickly moving for you, your head must be spinning.
Chances are he wont get custody, there is a history of abuse. I don't think you have to worry about that. You can ask for "joint" custody with you having physical custody.
Medical - the man having insurance is how it usually is, with the 50/50 split. In mine, I pay the 1st $250, he then pays 50 after that. Once I got disabled, I couldn't do the $250 50/50, I had no income. Talk to your attorney, see what they suggest. If he makes more then you and you are not getting spousal support, you might think about a 75-25 split. BTW, best advice I can give you is to make sure you keep your receipts just in case he doesn't pay.
Quote:
Originally Posted by windchimes03561
I can understand your reasoning on the spousal support - once the custody issues is decided, can you then go for spousal support?
Around here, if you don't lay all of your cards on the table, then go back to get it, it will cost money because you have to go back to court. This includes filing a new motion, having the attorney draw up papers, then sitting in court. Last time I did that, it got expensive at $200 per hour. $1,000 can get eaten up really quick.
Quote:
Originally Posted by windchimes03561
By the time you file 2007 taxes, there should be a custody agreement in place? I wonder if you can file as married filing separately and claim head of household with custody of the kids? Check with an accountant. I know you usually get scr#wed filing as married filing separately, but if you can claim head of household, you may not? I dunno - If you guys normally get a refund I'd hate to see TJ keep it all...If you do file jointly, make sure it's in writing somewhere that if there is a refund you split it 50/50!
This is good advice, when we seperated, we filed joint IIRC, he then proceeded to keep the money. In order to get it back, I had to file a motion. Grr, more money. It's worth it to file married, filing seperatly, this way he gets his, she gets hers.
Roselvr - The reason I thought of the taxes was because my ex tried to scr*w me the year we separated. At first he was adamant about us filing "married separate" - when it came time to file, he realized that since I had write-offs pertaining to my work and he didn't, he was going to end up having to pay, so he wanted us to file jointly with the promise of "when the refund comes, I'll make sure you get half." Thankfully, I realized what he was doing and said no, I was going to file married filing separately - he was not a happy camper......
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