A new day has dawned. I am free! (maturity, sign, dates)

[ElizaTeal]

Robyn what you are feeling at this time in your journey is perfectly normal. I liken it to post traumatic stress syndrome. The rapid fire round has ended. You are in the process of getting back to the semi normal routine of every day living. It's anti-climatic and sometimes down right boring! You have time to question and time to cry. This is a short lived adjustment period, as come next month it's back to court. You're doing great.

[Pikantari]

Must



get





out






of the house!!!!






Gonna go to the mall and exchange the clothes that dont fit the kids. I have gone through so many boxes and there are still so many...mostly all As. I still have the ones out in my storage shed...yikes, lets not think of those for now.

All clothes are clean, just have to change As sheets, already did Ls. Yep, i have yet to do the dishes and go grocery shopping....or eat.

I am gonna pick something up while I am out.

Whew, I am so hot!

[Pikantari]

Things went well this evening. Hopefully things will be ok in the morning...eeek...

Alexander had to come home and do a current events paper, due tomorrow.

They didn't do anything much really this weekend, did go to that different church, not much on them going to a diff denominational church tho. A did get to see one of his friends, and his friends father is the Pastor there, they had a cook out at the Pastors house after.

All of the clothes were clean, but the kids brought home bags of dirty clothes. Jim did do laundry over the weekend, to include As underwear, which would be a colored load.

Oh well. Hope all is well w everyone! pray for my morning!!!

[morgan8]

I am so happy to hear some one going through something close to me, If you you need to talk get ahold of me we could help each other!!!

Originally Posted by cinderobyn

It is a new day, today. I wake, and I am not afraid, I have no hesitation upon my being.

I am surrounded with boses, here in the living room, my bedroom, now, which seems like it has been an eternity.

It is still early yet, in the day. I have a way to go, before the goings on will begin. But I am awake! I am alive! The shakles and chains are gone...I am free!!!

The House of Chimes sits on the corner, waiting for the kids and I...opening its arms to us. Everytime I go there, there is a warm and inviting feel about it. It is my home. I can feel it in my soul, in my very being. In my heart.

My kids are happy there. They had their first 'official' friend over last night... This little girl has never been to this house....the house of shackles and chains. They all hugged eachother godbye as we left. It was a wonderful sight... They will see eachother all the time now.

C and I were in the kitchen for the most time talking, as I can imagine in the future, that we will be doing, and we could hear Alexander grossing the girls out with his boy gross out stories. The girls running down the stairs to tell us about it.

I am so happy, one would not believe. I have nothing, yet I have everything. My life, my world has changed drastically.

I am no longer where is the love. His control and power is gone. He can say whatever he wants...I let it ride. He cannot hurt me anymore. I have grown from that.

I am anew. I do not cry as I type this, I smile, so early here in the morning. I am not holding my head, as I would often do, mid sentence. I am happy. All of you, I have to thank....with you, above everything in this earthly world, you all know, the Lord. With Him I can do anything, Without Him, nothing.

It is true. I have no money. I am blessed to have a job. I will not call it wonderful..but I have friends there, and I like the people I work with, I love my patients.

I worried over having at least a refridgerator and stove....I was given them both, for free. I have learned from this board, there are good people in this world. Here, and outside of here. Now, I may start crying.

Sometimes when you think it could not get any worse....the sun, it shines through the clouds, and He comes to you.

There were many rough days, so so many. But here I am. I overcame them. I really did it. The day is here.

Before my realization, all of the good was wrapped up inside of me, not to say I wasn't god, or that others weren't good. BUT. I wasn't really allowed to fellowship, to worship. It was when I started feeling better and walking that He came to me. I knew then, I was taking my life back for the kids and myself. I got back into the church and it felt so good. it was what I needed.

I walked with the Lord each and every day...on my walks, enjoying His natures Magesty.

He has brought me through, you guys have brought me through, with your testimonies, your encouragement, and even your kicks in the butt! No one wants a kick in the butt, but sometimes, I guess you need them.

My 5:05 alarm just went off. It must be time to get up...

I have felt the change in myself, day by day. You have seen it, in my words. It is a wonderful thing, and the day has come. The day of the House of Chimes.

The kitchen and bathroom are...'vintage'

LOL But I love them...they are so cool!

I took a close look the other day at the kitchen sink...and there was a brand name on the metal cabinetry just underthe sink, right in the middle, so small, you could hardly notice, and I don't know why i was stooping down to be able to see it.

There was an oval, and inside the oval, the name Shirley. I suppose it was the brand. I dont know.

That name has very much meaning to me, it is , it was my mothers name. I know she is with me always, I know that. but when I saw that...i felt like it meant something....like yep....this is where I am supposed to be.

Of course, it is a rental, and when you talk to a financial person, you waste your money renting, because it is not an investment towards ownership...well guess waht? I can't do ownership right now. I am completely thrilled with the House of Chimes... for now, it is our home..... I am gonna find a hat rack, preferrably an older one, to hang up my Dads cowboy hat on...

He is with me as well.

Not only is it the dawn of a whole new day, but a whloe new life. To see those kids, heck, just to hear their lafter throughout that house, it was like music to my ears.

They have to keep it down here...shhh... Don't do that...lucky daddy isn't here. No more of that. Don't get me wrong. My kids are respectable, and disciplined. They will stay that way, I am not gonna let them run like crazy people, LOL...maybe for a few days...I have to keep authority over them, espescially since it is just me.

I have talked to them about this already. They know me as the protector. I have told them that they need to behave as best they can, because it will only be the three of us. We all need to act appropriately, as we know we should, and things will be fine. They will have to listen to me, etc...

They know that, they are good kids.

Alexander said to me...Mommy, I am glad we got a stove, cuz I have to eat!

Got that right! That boy must be 6 feet high, and I dont know if he will ever stop growing.

My journey here ends...the journey in the house of shackles and chains.

My journey in the House of Chimes, today, officially begins, and what a wonderful feeling it is. I will go back to sleep now, there is a big day ahead of me, and a lot to be done.

I will need coffee... You all are the very best there are....even you guys...

the ones who have followed this thread...and have jumped out all of a sudden to give me well wishes..i thank you...

I thank you all...

This is not the end, but only...

The very beginning...

[Pikantari]

The kids did great! No arguements. No yelling. They both got up and got dressed, and made their beds.

I make their lunches everyday, but they never put their lunch bags away, they both put their lunches in the lunch bags without arguing.

A just went outside to wait for the bus. L is brushing her hair.

This weekend is supposed to cool down for the festival, thats good, no fun when its hot. I suppose next is to figure out how work will flow.

My posts are becoming normal. That is a good thing, hopefully they can stay that way...

I do here and there feel a bit of the lonliness that some of you spoke of. I suppose such is life. It wont be that way forever, time will move on, as will we all.

[Pikantari]

I think I may take a small break, someone has told me I have hurt their feelings, and I am not out to do that in the least.

Maybe I need a break, I dont know. I didn't feel like I did anything to hurt their feelings, but is my judgement off? I dont know. I will check in.

hugs everyone.

Robyn

[Pikantari]

Oh, one last thing, Lindsay just got on the bus, so both kids did very well this morning. very good morning at Chimes.

She noticed the pumpkins, and was very excited. Alexander was excited that the weather would be nice for the festival...

until another time. Feel free to e mail me, if you would like.

[I love the Bears]

I'm sorry that someone got their feelings hurt. I am sorry that you have to deal with that too. I hope people can forgive and move on.
Glad to hear that your evening and morning went well - what a nice way to start the day.
Hope to hear from the house of chimes soon

[DareToDream]

Originally Posted by cinderobyn

I think I may take a small break, someone has told me I have hurt their feelings, and I am not out to do that in the least.

Maybe I need a break, I dont know. I didn't feel like I did anything to hurt their feelings, but is my judgement off? I dont know. I will check in.

hugs everyone.

Robyn

Good morning Robyn...if you're reading....I couldn't see where you would have hurt anyone's feelings with your posts and your judgment is not off, at least in my opinion. Remember, this is an "open forum" and it is "cyberspace" so someone may read something and take it the wrong way. That is not your fault.

If you need to take a break for YOU, then by all means do so....if you are taking a break because you feel you may have offended someone, then don't. Writing here has obviously been good for you - it has helped you to sort through your feelings, it has helped you to read feedback and perhaps help you to think of things you wouldn't have on your own.

Those of us who are "here" on a regular basis care about you and the kids and what you are going through. I would imagine even some who read but don't post feel the same way. I also think you are probably helping people out there who are in the same boat you were in and are wondering if it's possible for them to make the first step out of an abusive relationship....that's all good stuff.

When writing in a forum like this, there will almost always be someone who may take offense at something that is written, someone who will be hurt by thoughts/feelings posted - don't let that keep you from writing.

On another note - I'm glad last night and this morning went so well for everyone with no tension or yelling or screaming <g>. I wouldn't worry about TJ taking the kids to a church of a different denomination than yours. Many people "explore" different churches and philosophies as they get older just to see what other churches teach and to see what "fits" with their beliefs (for lack of better phrasing) - The kids are experiencing this type of thing earlier, but at least TJ did take them to a church, which is also a positive.

I hope you have a good day at work today and I hope you won't be gone for too long!

[rockky]

OK. Look out! Here I come again.....dirtyratzenfratzem...mumblemumblemumble.

Robyn, I read the thread that caused this withdrawal. I was following it last night. If someones feelings were hurt, then they need to deal with it. It *may* be all about *them* and their issues. (Sound familiar?) It really doesn't have anything to do with what you did or didn't post. You didn't say or write anything mean or cruel. You were just messin' around having some fun with people you have come to know well on the board.

You were 'scolded' and blamed unfairly and without cause. (Geesh...I so see myself in this.) I, of course, have no idea what was DM'd to you, so perhaps I shouldn't even comment about the particulars.

I do feel the need to say this to you. Here is your chance to change the way you have behaved in the past. It's a good place to practice...on line....you don't really know these people and don't need to face them IRL each day. The proactive rather than reactive response. Don't leave. Say you regret the misunderstanding and hope that everyone can move on. Saying you are sorry implies that you truly did something wrong with malice. Bull!

Honey, I don't think you need to separate yourself from the support you are getting here....the good/bad/indifferent/unwelcomed. If you *want or need* a break from this venue, by all means take it. Just don't hide because someone needs to control or has a need for the spotlight.

Pull back 'dem shoulders! Chin up and strong! Take a deep breath! Look straight ahead with a smile and no fear! (Try not to throw up, cry, or run to the bathroom....yeah, been there. It takes practice.) You are strong. You are focused. You are kind and sensitive. Do not allow others to define who and what you are!

Now I'm done being drill Sargent for the the morning. It will be all I can do to not go ream out someone on that other thread for punching you when you are already fighting for your soul. Selfish people.....dirtyratzenfratzem!!!...mumblemumblemum ble.