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Good Morning everyone! Cross your fingers knock on wood. Going ok, so far. I talked to the kids last night about boundaries, respect, and DISRESPECT. Of course, Love. A was a bit hurt when I spoke of disrespect, and did get angry. In his anger, he became disrespectful, and although I did not want to use it, it was a perfect example of something he could see in the now, of what he was doing, that would be justified as disrespectful.
Last night, I let them know wwe were going to bed early since it was such a tough morning that day, and that we would start the day off by making our beds, and we should have our clothes ready for the next day. L did, A did not. The mornig is so far, so good.
I told them to call tjibda before dinner, because he always has a way of calling just while we are eating or in the hustle/bustle of bedtime/showertime. A left a message, i have to go to bed early so goodnight, and hung up. 715. He is playing us both.
I said that is not what I said. He said I didn't think it sounded that way, so after they got done eating they called again, no Daddy. After A had his shower, he called again, and J was whining about how he slept fr 4 to 8 and got his message that he was going to bed so early yadayadayada. A clarified what the message was intended to mean. 4hr nap. L called when A either got out of the shower, or before he got in, cant remember.
Far be it fr me to make it look like I am not letting the kids talk to him, because its not what I was doing. So they did talk to him.
I layed on my bed last night with my head at the foot of the bed waiting for L to get out of the shower. I fell asleep that way. I have NEVER done that. I guess when you sleep alone you can sleep however you want! I guess I layed that way most of the night, w/out a blanket, and got a bit cold into the early morning and switched up to the normal way to cover up...
Progress Reports looked good, except for As Spanish 84=C, which is still good, and he can bring it up. Lots of zeros in one class for one class in homework, the class he wasn't turning homework in...eeerrrggg...
I want to keep the kids for festival weekend, next weekend, I know J wont take them, but the kids and I love to go. He will say he has no money, y'all dont need to go, on and on, at least thats what he said when we were together, could be the other way around now, who knows.
A still does not have a haircut. I came close to buying clippers a few nights ago, but then I thought, Ya know what, not gonna do it. If he want me to cut his hair, he can buy me the clippers, thats fine. I dont mind that. But I will not buy them. Hid=s hair is growing out of a short cut and is still fairly short, so a scissor cut would be difficult at this point.
I am rambling on sev diff topics here. The kids are doing great this morning. knock knock cross. Ok, didn't knock hard enough.
Fruit by the foot trash on the the floor I saw and L went to pick it up, nothing said to A, and he said I am tired of being blamed for everything. No one said a word to him! Ugh..
Good morning all! Just so you know, I'm swamped with things to do after work to prepare to move. Have to have the house ready by the end of this weekend, and we're not getting there fast enough.
I'm reading all the posts, but there is very little to add to the great ideas posted here. Robyn, in this lull before the custody court date, try to organize your thoughts and documentation, so that the judge will truly see what a putz ib is and how hard-working you are. There is no question to me that the judge will set a predetermined amount of child support for ib to pay and I'm hoping it's retroactive to September 1. What about alimony? Is that out of the question? Or do you not want it? Have a good day everyone, I'll be back on later today.
Oh honey - it's going to be okay! He is a teenage boy - if he wasn't being moody and difficult in the best of times I'd start checking his closet! You know how tired and drained you feel - the kids feel it too - A probably more because he understands the currents and unsaid things more than L does. He's at that age where he's old enough to pick up on the grown up stuff - but not mature enough to emotionally process it all - and that is why communication at that age is key. I will grant you that it doesn't seem like communication when they are sitting there with a chip on their shoulder and you feel like you're lecturing - but it is. And more than that - the kids see that you care and that you are in control. As much as children test - the desperately crave someone to be in control - it's scary for them when no one is.
You are doing a GREAT job - and be so glad that your son can get some of his teenager stuff out in your home - because if you were still with IB he'd be holding it in and then you'd have a huge explosion some day.
He hugged and kissed you - it will be okay!
Being the mommy stinks sometimes!!!!!
A still does not have a haircut. I came close to buying clippers a few nights ago, but then I thought, Ya know what, not gonna do it. If he want me to cut his hair, he can buy me the clippers, thats fine.
My wife has RA and cuts the hair of our 3 boys and myself using clippers. It's a way to save money, and now my almost 17 year old is wanting to grow his hair longer. Surpisingly, my kids always seemed to prefer having their hair cut short, shorter than I ever did at their age (which was really long ).
I wouldn't expect Jim to buy clippers.
Cutting hair & buying clippers would seem to be the job of the primary custodial parent, unless the other parent wants to provide a gift, which is unlikely in this case, but you never know.
Someone is going to have to give in the end and buy the clippers, and Jim knows that you have the training. I guess that there's not going to be any rush to obtain hair cutting "justice" in this case.
That is huge......right now I have a mega headache, a migraine, have had one all day actually.
Both kids have a substansial(sp)amt of homework that is due on Monday, and they are still both doing homework. It is 730 pm. The no home work clause.
I told him I want the kids all of next weekend and he said that is hardly fair for him, that he would not see them all week and then not at all on the weekend, that i could have them on Sunday. I said no to that. I have not had any true split weekends, nothing. I told him I want them for the festival next week, so i can take them. So he says, well i wont have any money anyways, but then still says he wants them.
I told him I would talk to him later about it. In the morning, no not in the morning he says, the landlady has a man coming over to look at the floor at 9am. Good times a comin, kids. Wonder if that is in the only fun things clause.
Land lady and man looking at the floor...
Then he says well, why dont we do next weekend half and half if you dont want them on Sunday only. half days. You can have them for half of the day and I will have them the rest. UGH. My head still is hurting... I am so sure that will work out. geez.
Robyn, please find yourself a counselor. Are you insured and are there any near your home? You need to run your conversations with ib by someone, often enough that you don't get migraines from the dilemma of how to respond to him. I think you should send the kids WITH their homework tomorrow, explaining that they came home from school with it to be done over the weekend ~ I think he's afraid he isn't smart enough to help them...don't mean to be mean...but I don't think he's smart enough to help them either. Work is taking it's toll on you too. Check out the papers for job opps - sometimes what you find out is that there isn't anything better out there right now, so we somehow find a renewed motivation to be better focused at work - or you might find just the right job for you!
Did you ever get the bed frames? Isn't that old friend of yours still giving them to you?
Get some rest this weekend, you need and deserve it. God Bless & Lots of (((Hugs)))!
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