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Now people who hang out with me know me, I change my look like people change their underwear. I'll go on a leggings kick that all I'll wear is leggings.
You should really consider putting a top on too, maybe that's his issue
Quote:
Originally Posted by xxbabeechick
The point is, we're not even to that point yet that he should be asking me to modify the way I dress. I've only modified my way of dress for one person, and that's when I actually started living with him.
He should NEVER ask you to modify the way you dress. If he doesn't like the way you dress that's his issue, not yours.
His lifestyle is just very different from mine. His life is his kids (they are over at his house 4 times a week), which is great, but I'm 26, never been married with no kids and he is 39. Now I've dated men that age with similar lifestyles to me, but he isn't it. Also, the emotional connection really isn't there for me...I like texting him all throughout the day, but I don't really care for it when he calls. Also, sometimes he acts like he doesn't know how to talk to a woman.
While this may verge on Dirty Old Manland I have to say that, though fairly eloquent, I would likely be a bit tongue tied around you sometimes (get your collective minds out of the gutter folks, I mean I'd be busy admiring and not thinking of something to say).
Have been seeing this guy that lives in Pennsylvania for several months, we're making a go of it, but not jumping into exclusivity (I'm dating others).
Main reason I love hanging out with him is that we both have a blast. I honestly don't see long term dating potential, and his life is complicated with his kids and stuff, but we like going out and doing the same things and we literally have a ball when we have a night out together.
But like, third time we hung out, he commented that next time he wanted me to dress more modestly. Now people who hang out with me know me, I change my look like people change their underwear. I'll go on a leggings kick that all I'll wear is leggings, I'll go on a jeans kick, I'll go on a dresses kick. I was on a short skirt kick when out with him. For some reason he doesn't mind (and actually enjoys) cleavage, but he doesn't like my legs to be exposed. Talk about weird.
He phrased it in the way that he wanted "his woman" to dress. Well, I'm not your woman, so I'm glad we cleared that up. I was smiling but underneath my blood was boiling.
The point is, we're not even to that point yet that he should be asking me to modify the way I dress. I've only modified my way of dress for one person, and that's when I actually started living with him.
I hate when dudes do stuff like this. I'm a non-confrontational person who doesn't like to make an apparent big deal out of anything, but I get really annoyed...
Oh well...he's very nice and doesn't have an anger problem like everyone else I've dated so I figured I lucked out.
I know he isn't LTR material in any case.
EDIT: Yea, I call myself chick. I call my co-workers chicks too. I even use the term "chick flick". Not everything is a war in the battle for respect as a woman.
Actually, thats an assumed sterotype about abusers and anger issues.
It can be masked and controlled until the moment they feel comfortable and secure enough to unleash the beast within.
I did read the OP, the way you worded that just struck me as funny.
I'd have passed on him, no matter how fun, only because I cannot STAND when someone tells me how to act, what to do, how to dress..etc. That would have been an instant major turn-off for me. That and the "my woman"....ohhhh, nooooo! Glad you put him in his place for that comment.
I thought only men with degrading names for women called them 'chicks'.
I was wondering if anyone was going to bring that up. I used the term once, about 37 years ago. She put me in my place and afterward I never used the term again.
To answer the OP question at the heading of the topic --
I never told anyone what to wear. I think for this guy to tell you
"he doesn't like my legs to be exposed" is not only weird but it tells me that he is a major control freak. My suggestion like many others have already mentioned here is to run.
Actually, thats an assumed sterotype about abusers and anger issues.
He may or may not have such issues. We don't know that. I just don't understand why a man who wants a decently dressed woman (which also reflects her personality) gets all this flack... The only problem I see is his attempt at changing her and that does sound like a certain syndrome... Other than that, he's entitled to his preferences.
He may or may not have such issues. We don't know that. I just don't understand why a man who wants a decently dressed woman (which also reflects her personality) gets all this flack... The only problem I see is his attempt at changing her and that does sound like a certain syndrome... Other than that, he's entitled to his preferences.
I can see where some men might like to date women who dress modestly. That goes double for men who have children who visit often. But as you say, the problem is in attempting to change her. If he doesn't like the way she dresses, he should find someone else.
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