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It's interesting...I had a SAHM, but never assumed that it was a financially plausible option for me, as a woman. When my mom did it, it was barely doable...we were very frugal and did without, in terms of frills and extras, to make it work. It's certainly exponentially less doable, now. My SO, on the other hand, was a latchkey kid...both parents worked full time, and his mom was also a student, finishing her bachelor's and completing a master's while raising him and his younger brothers. When he was 13, his parents split, and she was doing it all completely on her own.
Flash forward, my SO is the one who aspires for me to be a SAHM, should we become parents. He would vastly prefer that I "not have to work." I just assumed I would always have to, though. I supposed time will tell. I think, for him, it's personal measure of how well he feels he's doing in his job, if his partner doesn't "have to" work. Kind of a status thing. "Oh, my wife doesn't have to work." I think it's kind of a silly benchmark, personally, but I don't pretend to understand the way some guys have so much of their self-worth tied up in what they earn.
I'm educated, I've been employed in professional career tracks as long as I've been an adult, and have no problem with working. I'm also not a person who is intensely career-driven...I like what I do and am dedicated to it, but it's not all I want out of life or the most important thing, either. I would be open to focusing on parenting full-time, were it an option, without feeling like I was missing out, career-wise. I've certainly done the full-time career thing as well.
Nice to think about staying home -- except when he picks up and leaves she usually has no formal education, job training nor job. Nothing like putting all your eggs in one basket & winging it.
Plenty of educated women with college degrees opt to be stay at home mom's.
Statistically, more and more women are getting their educations before having kids.
Nice to think about staying home -- except when he picks up and leaves she usually has no formal education, job training nor job. Nothing like putting all your eggs in one basket & winging it.
And that's a VERY good point. Had my wife stayed at home, we *might* have had a better marriage; then again, maybe not. But we did end up divorced after our kids had left for college, and by that time my (ex) wife was a highly paid executive. Had she stayed at home all those years, she'd have had to start out at the bottom of the labor pool.
Plenty of educated women with college degrees opt to be stay at home mom's.
Statistically, more and more women are getting their educations before having kids.
I said usually and that's their choice if they're stay at home or not. Looks like a waste of time to me personally. They get no appreciation and left for the secretary or the neighbor's college daughter. LOL. But hey knock yourself out stay at homes....
I said usually and that's their choice if they're stay at home or not. Looks like a waste of time to me personally. They get no appreciation and left for the secretary or the neighbor's college daughter. LOL. But hey knock yourself out stay at homes....
If you want to believe that every single stay at home mom will be cheated on and "left for the secretary" or that they get "no appreciation" that's your choice.
I'm just here to tell you that this is not even close to being true in most cases.
Plenty of educated women with college degrees opt to be stay at home mom's.
Statistically, more and more women are getting their educations before having kids.
She means that after years-decades of not using a degree, and not having recent experience, it's nearly worthless.
And I may agree, if not for the fact that decades later, she is a different woman anyways. She may have different priorities, her life may have changed her in the ways she never imagined before. Plus, the economy will have changed over time, and it doesn't really matter anymore what diploma she used to have.
Working for all those years instead may have jaded her, as well, made her feel she's entrapped in this only field.
Here's my take. If I was married with kids I would want my wife to be home. If there's a problem with school or a child needs to see a doctor the wife handles it. If nutrition is an issue the wife handles it.
To me as for the wife working I would take it as an option but not as a requirement. There's a reason why kids today are in all kinds of mess.
As for one spouse leaving another well that's where the wife should handle the household finances and each person should know where all the household money is going and where it's coming from. If I felt I couldn't trust my wife or she couldn't trust me then there was never really a marriage.
With all that said today the mindset is different. Many people don't figure it out until the kids are grown and they wonder why the kids don't want to visit or call.. 99.9999% of men will remember moms cooking even if it's burnt toast. Mom makes the best burnt toast. Remembering a good meal will always bring a son home or think about coming home especially on the holidays.
As for girls it's that daddy's girl thing.. If there's no solid base the house will crumble.. I will say this. the best answer given so far is the case made for a hot meal for the man coming home after work and to add to it always keep a cold six pack in the fridge even if it's just iced tea.
When I have kids, I think it would be nice to be a stay at home mom or at least work part time while my kids are small. Growing up, my mom had to work. I now work with a lot of married women who have small children and it seems so difficult. Their kids get sick a lot and there's no one to stay home with them, they can't work the overtime needed to get ahead in their careers because they have to run home to take care of the kids, then the whole breastfeeding while working thing seems overly complicated...there are others that i'm prob forgetting. It all sounds incredibly stressful coupled with all of their work related concerns.
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