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I love and require a lot of alone time. I am not the kind who wants to be calling, texting, and spending time together 24/7. I also work a lot lately.
It's not that I feel more "free" being single, because I do think I could find someone who is not clingy or high-maintenance, and that would suit my personality and life.
Of course there are moments I'd like to share with someone and times when I get lonely. I am not the kind to use my singleness to party or hook up with lots of guys, so when it comes to affection and attention, I want a monogamous relationship.
There is a personality characteristic named for your type but I can't remember what it is called. It's probably good that you recognize how you are because a lot of people don't really understand themselves.
I do get lonely at times, just for someone to maybe watch movies with and hang out with, but overall I think I would rather stay single at least until I fulfill my personal goals. There is so much drama out there!
This is exactly how I feel. I would love to be in a relationship, but I am embarking on some things that would only be hindered by being in a serious relationship.
Being single is ok, but I've never been the type to have a bunch of casual dates with people just to give me something to do. I'm a loner, and while I do like meeting people and having fun, even going on a date brings pressure to do and say the right things or risk being judged or misconstrued by the other person.
I miss being with someone I can build memories with, get to know inside and out. I like familiarity, not going out with Tom one night, Jason the next two nights, and Billy on the weekend. I have friends that do this- more power to them. I still did the things I wanted to do when in a relationship. I never understood the 'giving up things' just to please someone else. Anyone I'm with will support my endeavors and I'd do the same.
I am positive that the right person will fall into my lap when the time is right. For now I'll just do my best and deal with the lonely days. I am actively trying to better myself in the meantime. That is more than I can say for lots of people.
There is a personality characteristic named for your type but I can't remember what it is called. It's probably good that you recognize how you are because a lot of people don't really understand themselves.
It's that myers-brigg crap . INFP is my type, and it really made me able to see myself more objectively.
i too love being single but it some times gets lonely thats why i have friends with benefits! it works out great,you hang out from time to time,go out,do the nasty and go on about your buisness,without all the responsibility. i was divorced 4yrs ago and in my line of work where i'm gone 6mths out of the year its the
best way to go.nowadays unlike 40 years ago or so they just dont last, or i havent been that fortunate,wishfull thinking for the future but i wont get my hopes up.
spot on. Friends with benefits are the way to go! All fun all the time!
If you are committed to being single does that also mean that you don't ever want to have children?
Also, from reading the posts I'm trying to figure out if the decision to remain single for most is more about emotional issues or issues of responsibility or something else?
For those of you out there, which issue is it? Do you want kids even if you are single?
I have been single for a good while, about 9 years or more. No, it's not enjoyable at all,but while I am single, I try very hard to take very good care of myself, and I feel good about myself, and people around me can feel that vibe,but being single is a lonely world,there is that void inside,but I function as a whole person not a half of a person,while I wait.
I am single and am enjoying it insofar as the independence and freedom are concerned. I do what I want whenever and how I want. Weekends are great because I can hang out with friends OR just kick it and have nobody bother me. I don't have to take care of anybody (something my married friends always tell me is a reason they envy me for being single).
But, I do want a woman - for a long-term relationship, leading to marriage. Not a player, never been one, don't want to become one.
Only you can make it change. I can understand where you are coming from and actually dealt with it recently as a lot of work I had disappeared due to the economy and it was a cold winter. So a lot of days cooped up inside with time on my hands. I belong to a local gym and indoor pool though and found just getting out and working out or swimming I'd feel 10 times better. Or I'd go to my friends restaurant and hang out and eat lunch. Or I'd go for a drive or sit outside bundled up watching the snow fall. Whatever it was, getting out of the house just made the biggest difference in my attitude and view on life.
It's easy to fall into that trap when you have time on your hands to stay around the house and it was a shock for me since for years often I'd work 80 hours a week sometimes and was always busy. So I think you've just got to get yourself out of the house somehow and that's really the only way to meet people anyways.
My problem.. if you want to see it as a problem, is I'm the kind of person who have always been a one-woman kind of man, I've always devoted myself 100% to one woman, and the gals I dated in the past appreciated that. I never liked going out with 3 or 4 women at the same time, it can get complicated sometimes, and it may not look impressive for a woman who could be a potential mate.
Since the last relationship that ended in December of 2002, I had the worst luck with ladies in the last six years. I never had any problems meeting women in the past, it's just for some reason, since the last relationship, I attracted an alcohoholic, one who was too busy with her church and didn't want a relationship or marriage, one who was already married and just wanted an affair, which I didn't know about when I initially met her, and I had to break that courtship because of my Christian beliefs about adultry, and those who had a different agenda in life.
I guess after so many disappointments, somebody could get discouraged. I am 52 and at this age, it's a little tougher to meet women. I'm not the tall, dark, and handsome type of guy, but I'm not that bad looking either for a 52-year old guy. I guess I'm just worried about spending the rest of my life like this, 10-15 years ago, I wouldn't have felt that way, but as we get older, you start feeling differently about it.
My problem.. if you want to see it as a problem, is I'm the kind of person who have always been a one-woman kind of man, I've always devoted myself 100% to one woman, and the gals I dated in the past appreciated that. I never liked going out with 3 or 4 women at the same time, it can get complicated sometimes, and it may not look impressive for a woman who could be a potential mate.
Since the last relationship that ended in December of 2002, I had the worst luck with ladies in the last six years. I never had any problems meeting women in the past, it's just for some reason, since the last relationship, I attracted an alcohoholic, one who was too busy with her church and didn't want a relationship or marriage, one who was already married and just wanted an affair, which I didn't know about when I initially met her, and I had to break that courtship because of my Christian beliefs about adultry, and those who had a different agenda in life.
I guess after so many disappointments, somebody could get discouraged. I am 52 and at this age, it's a little tougher to meet women. I'm not the tall, dark, and handsome type of guy, but I'm not that bad looking either for a 52-year old guy. I guess I'm just worried about spending the rest of my life like this, 10-15 years ago, I wouldn't have felt that way, but as we get older, you start feeling differently about it.
Well just because you meet other women doesn't necessarily mean you have be romantic or sleep with them right off the bat.
I found when I lived in a ski town was during the winter I'd get cabin fever. In other words, I lived and worked with all the same people and all the same women, 24/7 for 4-5 months. After a while in that environment one starts to think they are the only women in the world. And then I'd go and travel to Australia after the season was over or whatever and I'd be like wow what was I all wound up about?
So I think it's good to get out of your usual environment every once in a while as it is usually an eye opener. Reason why i suggest travel is because I have met scads of women your age traveling, all single and as horny as a 21 yr old coed. Hello Ms. Robinson! Usually women that travel are a bit more interesting, open and energetic. I'd suggest walking or bike tours in europe or river cruises or going down under.
I think if you do some tours with people your age you might be surprised at the people you might meet and friends you might make. Even if a lot of these women you don't get romantic with, it's doesn't mean you can't have a good time.
In college I signed up for this one european tour. Every one else in my age group took the warm climate tour and I signed up for the mountains one. I think in my tour group I was the youngest by 25 years. A lot of the women on the tour I knew because they were my professors! But we had a fantastic time and really enjoyed ourselves.
I think rather than getting discouraged the best thing is to do something about it and go out and start doing activities or traveling. My point of view is I go out and enjoy my day and I find that by being proactive I attract a lot of women to me. Sometimes I have found more women by purposefully NOT looking.
One thing is for certain is that sitting at home being discouraged isn't going to make you new lady friends.
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. INFP is my type, and it really made me able to see myself more objectively.
Is anyone single and enjoying it?
