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Well, as far as I know, my laugh is not annoying, I don't squirt soda out of my nose, and I keep my farts to myself As far as the losers comment goes, well with a couple exceptions I probably wouldn't argue with that. Some guys appear normal and nice at first, and then you find out that they have a porn fetish, anger management issues, or live with their parents I'm staying positive though, not going to let all this get me down.
Well, as far as I know, my laugh is not annoying, I don't squirt soda out of my nose, and I keep my farts to myself As far as the losers comment goes, well with a couple exceptions I probably wouldn't argue with that. Some guys appear normal and nice at first, and then you find out that they have a porn fetish, anger management issues, or live with their parents I'm staying positive though, not going to let all this get me down.
My childhood nickname from my Dad. Frootloops was my favorite cereal (remember when there were only three colors). I know it gets interpreted different by some, but the meaning really is innocent. Hmmm, maybe something happened to me after 40 years of eating Frootloops, I've become one
i like being single.
when you stand in the big empty its cold dark and windy but, others no longer control you.
being single is never having to say you are sorry.
i reread all the threads they are so good. i think so many feel similar to me.
acceptance of singleness and an utter lack of interest in jumping way way out of our comfort zone. 20 year olds jump off bridges w/o bungie cords, not 50 year olds.
when you are 50 you want a lot more and are willing to give a whole lot less.
My childhood nickname from my Dad. Frootloops was my favorite cereal (remember when there were only three colors). I know it gets interpreted different by some, but the meaning really is innocent. Hmmm, maybe something happened to me after 40 years of eating Frootloops, I've become one
Hey I'm in my twenties and I want tons more for a whole lot less.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Huckleberry3911948
i reread all the threads they are so good. i think so many feel similar to me.
acceptance of singleness and an utter lack of interest in jumping way way out of our comfort zone. 20 year olds jump off bridges w/o bungie cords, not 50 year olds.
when you are 50 you want a lot more and are willing to give a whole lot less.
I've been single for a long time, even though I've had many opportunities in the past to change my status.
I'm happy about being single when I'm feeling good, but I'm 51 and my health is going downhill, and I wish I had children but now I feel like it's too late. Put all that together and the bottom line is that I regret having made the choices I made. I can think of at least 5 ex-girlfriends with whom I could have been happy, but I sabotaged those relationships and now I feel as though I sabotaged my entire life. We didn't evolve to be isolated. We need community, not necessarily a nuclear family, but at least we need to have a close circle of friends and family with whom we are intimate and able to share our darkest fears, deepest feelings, and natural dependencies.
Humans are social organisms. Anyone who pretends otherwise is setting themselves up for a fall.
I totally disagree with your last statement.
I've been a wife and mother ever since I was 17 years of age...married to men who were helpless, who were only looking for a mother to take care of their every whim/need.
Unfortunately, there are some mothers out there who insist on raising their sons to be dependent on them...instead of teaching them to be independent. Therefore creating a monster for the woman he is about to marry.
My point, this is the first time in my life I can do things for me...I dont' have to put myself, my needs, my dreams aside so that someone else may complete theirs. (and I didn't mind as a mother and wife) but now that I've tasted the joy of self reliance...it's addicting.
I am able to go where ever I chose to go on vacation/eat at the finest restuarants, order what I desire, watch whatever I want on TV, eat when ever I want...and if I feel like cooking I have company for dinner. (love dinner parties) but basically, I am not ready for a fall, and I really do enjoy being independent and self reliant.
I could never live with someone, it would drive me nuts...the noise, the loss of quality quiet time, especially in the morning...I've been there done that, and I would never even consider living with someone again...
Decorating my house the way I choose, clean whenever, I don't have to please anyone any longer...and I can buy anything I want...which is so much fun.
Every guy I fall in love with who dumps me tells me the same thing. I'm great, I'm beautiful, I'm smart, I'm funny, I'm the most normal person they've ever dated, I treat them better than anyone ever has, I'm such a great catch that they're sure some guy will snatch me up before I know what hit me. Yeah, right! At 40, I think there must be some great flaw that none of my ex-boyfriends will admit to me. I've been dumped for a depressed woman on Prozac, a psychotic secretary (at his office), a gold-digging tramp who hates kids (my ex-fiance had two awesome kids and his now-wife doesn't care about them), and dumped for nobody, just so he could escape the fear of commitment .
I don't get it. I'm not controlling, but I'm also not needy. I'm not picking out china patterns after three dates, I don't even call every day (unless it's what he wants), I do nice things for my boyfriends but nothing over the top, I'm buying a house in my a new city, and keeping my current house (dumped on me by the same ex-fiance who didn't want the responsiblity in a depressed housing market) as a rental property. So, I'm a stable 40 year old beautiful woman who owns two houses, has car and house debt only, some investments, loves to laugh, loves kids, loves sports, and even enjoys sex on a regular basis (and all the exes say I'm good at it). One of my exes dumped me and spent the next three years with a woman who only wanted sex once a month (see Prozac comment above). He later came back and admitted that breaking up with me was probably a mistake but by that time I had moved on.
If there are any decent guys left out there between 35 and 45, they must be hiding under rocks because they sure aren't beating down my door. I've been doing the online dating thing for 9 months and it's resulted in two dates, that's it. I know online dating only hits a very small portion of available men, but I won't go to bars alone, and am not really into going to church. Besides, everyone who goes to church in my town seems to be in their 70s. All my friends are scattered around the country and don't know any single men anyway, because my friends are all married.
I don't sit home alone, drinking myself into oblivion because I'm single. I stay active, go to the gym, volunteer, go on vacations by myself, etc. My married friends think I'm nuts for going on a cruise by myself but I went for my 40th birthday and had a great time. There was nobody telling me what do do and when to do it. It was fun. Still, I think having a special someone there with me would have been so much better. I miss companionship but refuse to settle.
I just wanted to say that I identify with much of your post. Yes it's hard to find a quality partner, yes people stay in relationships, drag them out, string others along, and yes, they often leave only to date someone beneath your quality.
This is a blessing...If your former boyfriends complimented you, saw your great qualities, and dumped you for lesser women anyway, it's because they saw they saw they couldn't play on your level. Many times strong and independent women are very attractive to men, but men who are not comfortable with this ultimately will seek someone they can control (look at all the examples of dysfunctional relationship qualities you site that your former boyfriends have resorted to). If you are not a controlling woman and have a good balance of softness and spunk, then more than likely you are weeding out guys who would ultimately be your downfall.
I like to think of it this way: I'd rather be in a good relationship than a bad relationship, but I'd rather be in no relationship at all than a bad one.
Hang in there. There's nothing wrong with solo trips, cruises, heck I do it all the time. I don't wait around for people to ask me to do things. I buy a plane ticket and do them on my own. Yes, there is a certain peace in not dealing with someone else's drama and yes, there is a certain peace in being with someone who compliments you. I hate to get all Dr. Phil on ya, but I do believe in his quote that "at any one time you are either contributing to or contaminating a relationship." You don't need the contaminating part.
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As far as the losers comment goes, well with a couple exceptions I probably wouldn't argue with that. Some guys appear normal and nice at first, and then you find out that they have a porn fetish, anger management issues, or live with their parents 
I'm staying positive though, not going to let all this get me down.
