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Well let's just say, I've only had to pay for myself once on a first date, and that guy was a loser in more ways than one. Every other date the bill has been magically paid for before I have even had a chance to think about grabbing my wallet (as in signed, sealed and delivered to the waiter). And yes, I offer on subsequent dates.
From what I can remember, I paid my half on at least three first dates that involved a meal. I always pay my own way on coffee dates because I make sure I get there first and order my own drink. Not paying on a first date doesn't leave a great impression, but I overlooked it since they were online dates and we were practically strangers. Even so, most of my online dates paid for the first date/meeting.
I think one of the issues is this - the difference between those who see dating as an opportunity to meet someone, get to know them, make a good impression, and have a good time and those who look at dating and think, "What's in it for me?"
If you see dating as an opportunity to find love and enjoy yourself - who gets the bill isn't going to be a big deal. If you are looking it from the angle of - what's in it for me - then suddenly - the bill becomes a big deal.
Not to turn this into an age debate, but it's no secret that the younger generation on the dating scene has grown up differently than older generations. We see all kinds of features in the news about Gen Y, actually, moreso the parents of Gen Y'ers, who are helicopter parents, give their children everything they want, excessive praise, to the point that many of their kids think the sun rises and sets with them.
Is it a stretch to think that many younger folks have the "what's in it for me" mindset, and could that be a contributing factor to lack of success in the dating world - some don't know how to be generous without receiving in return?
To most of them, it seems to be more a matter of principle. Having to spend money on women just seems to infuriate them, even when THEY asked for the date in the first place.
What gives with that?
Easy. They are not men. They are boys that have grown up coddled and comforted and are looking for mommies to continue as girlfriends, or wives.
Morning Mayita: No, you would not rather be alone.
If I have to have this sterile conversation over 40 dollars, yeah I would rather be alone. I am a grownup woman who has not the time nor the energy for children talk.
If you can not afford to date, dont date. Go back to school, get a better job, stop spending so much money on video games and save. Enough said.
I have nothing against paying on a date, but then I don't see why feminists are shocked by the fact that men pay for hookers. Why is it moral in one case, and immoral in another ? I don't get it...
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011
Not to turn this into an age debate, but it's no secret that the younger generation on the dating scene has grown up differently than older generations. We see all kinds of features in the news about Gen Y, actually, moreso the parents of Gen Y'ers, who are helicopter parents, give their children everything they want, excessive praise, to the point that many of their kids think the sun rises and sets with them.
Is it a stretch to think that many younger folks have the "what's in it for me" mindset, and could that be a contributing factor to lack of success in the dating world - some don't know how to be generous without receiving in return?
I think, speaking as a millennial myself, the recession has placed us into a position where we have to scrutinize every dollar we spend and why we have to spend it. As a result, some customs of old like buying a house, getting a new car after graduation, having kids, and paying for full dates, are being questioned to say do we really NEED to do all this? Some of us simply don't have the discretionary income to throw into the wind, therefore we have to question it more.
I have nothing against paying on a date, but then I don't see why feminists are shocked by the fact that men pay for hookers. Why is it moral in one case, and immoral in another ? I don't get it...
Are you saying that a woman asked on a date is the same thing as a prostitute?
I also think that online dating has changed a lot of things. I never dated a complete stranger. The guys I dated were men I already knew. We both already knew that there was a mutual attraction. And it's not like we were going out to expensive restaurants every night. In the beginning, I doubt if there was ever a bill over $50. But like I said - we weren't strangers - we both knew we wanted to be there. Maybe things would probably have been different if we were complete strangers to each other. But like I said - I've always offered to pay. And when I was in college and my boyfriend and I were seeing other people - I usually flat out insisted that I paid my share on dates. But most of the time - we didn't really go out to eat on those dates anyway.
Are you saying that a woman asked on a date is the same thing as a prostitute?
I've learned that men who feel like paying for a coffee thinks it means they are entitled to sex later often equate dating with paying for hookers. It's sad, really.
I think, speaking as a millennial myself, the recession has placed us into a position where we have to scrutinize every dollar we spend and why we have to spend it. As a result, some customs of old like buying a house, getting a new car after graduation, having kids, and paying for full dates, are being questioned to say do we really NEED to do all this? Some of us simply don't have the discretionary income to throw into the wind, therefore we have to question it more.
I agree with this the millennial generalizations tend to be redundant after a while. I don't even think its a matter of the recession its just the mindset of if all this stuff is necessary at a given point in time .
It's not the idea of paying for a date that gets me hostile I could care less. In my eyes it going on a date and the fun times it entails are the important part and that can be accomplished with little to no money. But I like some guys and gals have run into the problem of some people linking money spent to level of affection.
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