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Many guys may not agree to being expected to pay, take initiative, etc. just as many women do not agree on being expected to do house chores. Both are sexist, yet, women argue against sexist traditions that expect them to do something but not sexist traditions that expect from men.
I am all for BOTH men and women doing house chores and BOTH men and women paying for the date, taking initiative, and so on.
No different than men it's a people thing not a gender thing exclusive to gals. I see quite a bit of guys talking about equality when it benefits their wallet or they can hit gals yet when it comes to wearing the pants and the sl*t double standard....
After reading this thread, the first question to my next date will be: " Do you think it is unfair that you pay for the first few dates". If he says yes, I would know my life with him would be a soul-sucking experience of perceive unfairness, because he took me to the Olive Garden and bought me a 5 dollars glass of wine.
Life is unfair. And short for infertile soul sucking drama filled discussions over who pays for a date.
Same little drama for women who complain about house chores, come on, where are the real women? <sarcasm> I say it that way as women can be hear complaining about men who don’t spend their money on them since that is supposed to be “a man’s job”. Then you tell those same women about their job to cook and clean as a "woman's job" and all of a sudden that is considered sexist, go figure.
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Originally Posted by udolipixie
No different than men it's a people thing not a gender thing exclusive to gals. I see quite a bit of guys talking about equality when it benefits their wallet or they can hit gals yet when it comes to wearing the pants and the sl*t double standard....
Then how about men and women taking initiative, asking each other out (not your husband, long time boyfriend, necessarily), paying for the dinner and wine, doing house chores, etc.? Imagine yourself approaching the new guy in the office to introduce yourself, ask him his number and give him yours, ask him out, be ready to take care of all expenses, send him a gift to his desk, etc.
Then how about men and women taking initiative, asking each other out (not your husband, long time boyfriend, necessarily), paying for the dinner and wine, doing house chores, etc.?
Interesting how your response syncs with "yet when it comes to wearing the pants and the sl*t double standard...."
Your proposition while missing some elements is unlikely to happen since likely hypocritical double standards and gender roles will always exist and people will choose what suits.
Interesting how your response syncs with "yet when it comes to wearing the pants and the sl*t double standard...."
Your proposition while missing some elements is unlikely to happen since likely hypocritical double standards and gender roles will always exist and people will choose what suits.
It would suit me to say that house chores is “a lady’s job” but I find it sexist, as sexist as women demanding/expecting men to pay for their expenses, take initiative, and so on. Are men able to clean a house, you bet. Are women able to take out their wallet and pay, approach a man to ask him out, etc.? you bet. But people rather cherry pick traditions and do what suits them. I chose not to and so far it has worked just fine. How about you?
It would suit me to say that house chores is “a lady’s job” but I find it sexist, as sexist as women demanding/expecting men to pay for their expenses, take initiative, and so on. Are men able to clean a house, you bet. Are women able to take out their wallet and pay, approach a man to ask him out, etc.? you bet. But people rather cherry pick traditions and do what suits them. I chose not to and so far it has worked just fine. How about you?
I do what suits me unless it harms children or animals though as my intention isn't to hurt children or animals that suits me as well.
I see no reason for me to attempt to lessen any sexism in my actions such as guys pay when likely most of the guys benefiting only think of equality when it comes to his wallet.
I would think that if you ask someone out on a date, you are inviting them out so you should be prepared to treat. That goes for men, or women! If your not prepared to open your wallett for your date, you shouldn't be asking anyone out.
(Which doesn't mean that anyone should expect the other to pay under any circumstance either... however, it is better to expect to pay, and end up having your date offer to pay instead of fighting about the bill at the end of the date).
EXACTLY.
Scorekeeping does not bode well for a relationship. Worrying about being tit-for-tat and making sure you're compensated equally also doesn't bode well. Relationships are fluid, give and take, the healthy ones balance out in the long run and don't worry about the day-to-day. If you want success, put your best foot forward and think about the other person, not just yourself.
If you don't want to pay, don't plan a date that costs money. If an ice cream cone or a latte are too much for you to handle, maybe you need to look internally and find out what it is about your character that you're not able to be giving, without receiving back. Good times and happy memories don't come with a price tag.
I do what suits me unless it harms children or animals though as my intention isn't to hurt children or animals that suits me as well.
Sounds good.
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I see no reason for me to attempt to lessen any sexism in my actions such as guys pay when likely most of the guys benefiting only think of equality when it comes to his wallet.
That's the thing. Guys will benefit from sexism when it comes to house chores, women benefit from sexism when it comes to their wallet. For me it makes more sense to have women also pay for a man, ask him out, take initiative, etc. same way with a man doing house chores without being asked. I am all for BOTH men and women doing all. Women don't seem to like that.
Scorekeeping does not bode well for a relationship. Worrying about being tit-for-tat and making sure you're compensated equally also doesn't bode well.
That's right. Men taking a spread sheet or women keeping score on who did the dishes last night or who vacuumed last week.
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If you don't want to pay, don't plan a date that costs money. If an ice cream cone or a latte are too much for you to handle, maybe you need to look internally and find out what it is about your character that you're not able to be giving, without receiving back. Good times and happy memories don't come with a price tag.
Well said. Also, if a dinner will take lots of cleaning then a woman could think about preparing something less complicated so that cleaning is not too much I guess.
I dislike being expected to do anything by anyone who does not pay my bills or who has a sense of entitlement
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