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What if sex was devoid of intercourse but your partner still could make you O from outercourse, would you consider that bad sex? Or is intercourse a 100% requirement?
Ask Bill Clinton. According to his definition, it's not. But seriously, sex is what you and your partner are happy with. Not anyone here online.
Would I break up with someone over it? Dwindling sex, bad sex, no sex? It would depend completely on how invested I was in the rest of the relationship.
Since you are used to amazing sex in the past if you were to settle for average or bad sex it will eventually catch up to you and you would be unsatisfied... I think once you are used to a 8 or 9 in terms of sex it's hard to suddenly switch to a 4 or 5 for the long term.
Since you are used to amazing sex in the past if you were to settle for average or bad sex it will eventually catch up to you and you would be unsatisfied... I think once you are used to a 8 or 9 in terms of sex it's hard to suddenly switch to a 4 or 5 for the long term.
Hmmm.....it depends.
Under the present circumstances, no, I'm free to get my needs met and because I went many years with them NOT being met, I'm going to do that. If that means being poly and having 4 relationships (at the moment it does) then fine.
But I look back, and while the sex with my ex-hubs was pretty dang good, and it was the best I'd had up until some of the ones after we broke up, it wasn't mind blowing. I'd say he was like a 7 or so on a 1-10 scale. What ruined it was the negative mental and emotional baggage, how he acted and all. And frankly he could have been many times better than he was in bed, and I still wouldn't have wanted him because of how he acted and treated me (and our kids.)
And yet, had his behavior not been so bad, he could have been a 4 or 5, he could have been actually BAD in bed, but if I actually enjoyed his company, felt like I had a good and supportive partner, if he'd been treating both of his sons well, if he'd been able to hold a job (as I have done)...had the many other problems not been there, I can take care of my sexual needs by myself.
But see, we have 2 kids and a house and a bunch of other accounts in common, it's incredibly hard for us to divorce and disentangle all of this right now, and I would have needed a MUCH more compelling reason to go through all this, and put the kids through all this, than "my lady parts are not happy." I'm just not that selfish.
Neither a woman nor man should be bad in bed. I think people need to educate themselves on how to please the opposite sex. The saddest thing to me as a man is when a girl/woman tells me she either struggles to have orgasms or has never experienced an orgasm. I hear often how guys seem to just want to bang and go, hardly any foreplay, communication or interest in taking care of the woman's needs in the bedroom.
I cannot believe there are guys still like this tbh. I could never do that, i wouldn't feel like i had done my job properly. For a guy an orgasm is easy to achieve (for the most part!) but women find it harder, so they need arousal and time to get off which means taking time and familiarising oneself with her body. I feel embarrassed for the guys who care more about a notch on their bedpost rather than actually taking time to get to know the woman's sexual needs/wants/desires and helping her to achieve them. Because i have been studying the female anatomy and psyche for a long time, i now know i can, and aim to provide multiple orgasms when i am with a woman.
I say yes. There hae been a couple of partners in my life, where we just weren't on the same page, we just didn't connect well or relate well sexually and we couldn't seem to get on the same page....I'd try to gently show what I liked, and the person just couldn't alter what they "usually" did or some other issue or compatability, and in the end you just have to give up and let it go. But I was in a long term relationship years ago that ended up with a bad sex life, and not doing it again.
Stan was insinuating that other variables must be met in order for a wife to want sex, however, men don't care about other variables and just want sex no matter what. So in Stan's example women are using sex like a carrot on the end of a stick.
If you treat your partner like she deserves, just to have sex, my experience is that this doesn't necessarily create better sex, but does create a more intimate bond. However, I'm not sure that everyone with this motive gets it.
I told a woman I was involved with that she was lousy in bed. She went out that night to get a second opinion!
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