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Do you think the media or Hollywood has changed the way we all view what chemistry is? What is considered attractive. The indirect results of watching magazine covers at grocery stores.
No I don't think it makes any difference. Of course it changes what is attractive to society, but that really doesn't have much to do with chemistry IMO. I have had bad chemistry with gorgeous guys and amazing chemistry with average guys. Other people would have great chemistry with the guy I clashed with, and bad chemistry with guys I had good chemistry with.
It's more personality traits IMO that make good chemistry...for instance I despise timidity in bed and am never going to have good chemistry with a a guy who acts afraid to take the lead...those things are very individual and not to do with media.
Good definition of what chemistry should be but in this day and age it is based on more materialistic approach of looks and possessions.
That doesn't apply to all but many where the idea of chemistry would be what you described like describing yourself on a profile but really its not really it
We are talking about chemistry, it's a physical affect based on the mingling of actual hormones and chemicals each person is putting out. You are talking about attraction, or choosing traits we want in a partner, it is not the same. One is purely unconscious, the other is making a conscious choice.
I only wish we could choose who we feel chemistry with, because I have had relationships end with awesome, handsome, great on paper guys because we just didn't have chemistry for whatever reason. It can't be created, it's there or not.
Obviously, relationships should not be based 100% on sex. However, would you be able to stay with someone if their sex was not pleasing you. What if they only were able to provide you with good sex when they were drunk? If you were to break up with them would you tell them the reason that you no longer wanted to be with them was because their sex was not good?
Um...............what type of sex are you referring to?
Penetrative vaginal or anal sex or oral sex? Or all of them?
I have become an aficianado of tongue-a-lingus.
My GF loves it and I have caused multiple orgasms and aftershocks.
She reciprocates.
It's not always about the bump and tickle.
Many women simply cannot orgasm through direct pentrative vaginal sex, but there are damned few that can't get off with a good tongue.
Guys, read up, do your research and dive on in.
You won't be disappointed in the results if you do things properly.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elliotgb
Um...............what type of sex are you referring to?
Penetrative vaginal or anal sex or oral sex? Or all of them?
I have become an aficianado of tongue-a-lingus.
My GF loves it and I have caused multiple orgasms and aftershocks.
She reciprocates.
It's not always about the bump and tickle.
Many women simply cannot orgasm through direct pentrative vaginal sex, but there are damned few that can't get off with a good tongue.
Guys, read up, do your research and dive on in.
You won't be disappointed in the results if you do things properly.
Dude, it doesn't matter what "type of sex" is bad, if it is bad, it is bad.
Do you think the media or Hollywood has changed the way we all view what chemistry is? What is considered attractive. The indirect results of watching magazine covers at grocery stores.
I'm sorry but I can not agree with you at all. Not from a woman's perspective. I don't know any woman, ANY WOMAN for whom actual chemistry is about looks or possessions.
They might well fake it because they are materialistic and want the possessions. They might give it a go for a man who is good looking. But that does not mean that she feels the chemistry. The spark. The fire, the hunger. Example: My Mom, and her second marriage. Her parents pressured her to marry this man because he had a lot of money. He was very willing to spend it on her. She enjoyed the fun things they did together, because he had the money to afford them. But there was no chemistry. She faked it even though his kinks squicked her out and bothered her. She faked it long enough to get married, and even though she found out he was kind of controlling. But when I went to visit, and she spent time with me, and he forbade me to visit any more because he didn't like her giving attention to anyone other than him (not even her kids!) she had that marriage annulled and went her way.
Never, never, did she feel "chemistry" with him simply because he was rich. And even if he'd been her perfect idea of good looking, between the kinks she didn't dig and the controlling stuff he would have put her off sooner or later.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. There are no such things really as leagues, unless one is on the very most extreme end of some spectrum...but look how many people disagree about even whether Angelina Jolie is hot or gross? The men my Mom finds sexy, I find repulsive. And vice versa. And most of the women who marry for money, wind up unhappy because they faked it either out of materialism or a sense of duty (what they think they are "supposed" to do) and end up divorced...and taking half sometimes.
That is not chemistry. Chemistry is when you're completely turned on by some rogue even though you can't understand why and you know he'd be bad for you. Chemistry is when there's a woman you've got no business liking, maybe she's crazy, or you work together, or she's married...but not only do you find her beautiful, you obsess over every little thing about her and you just can't stop yourself. People don't always act on chemistry. But it's so much more than "Is he hot? Is he rich?"
I'm not arguing with you (he said as he started to argue ) and I don't feel like I'm a slave to the standards that media often promote, but we do tend to find the familiar attractive. This is true both in one on one relationships where a person we're with seems to grow more attractive, and it's also true on a larger scale where we're fed the same or similar ideas about what's attractive and the sheer volume of the images makes them familiar. I believe that this phenomenon only goes so far, but I think at least the margins of what we find attractive are shaped by what we see frequently.
I'm not arguing with you (he said as he started to argue ) and I don't feel like I'm a slave to the standards that media often promote, but we do tend to find the familiar attractive. This is true both in one on one relationships where a person we're with seems to grow more attractive, and it's also true on a larger scale where we're fed the same or similar ideas about what's attractive and the sheer volume of the images makes them familiar. I believe that this phenomenon only goes so far, but I think at least the margins of what we find attractive are shaped by what we see frequently.
Who we find attractive and who we have chemistry with are not related, though. You could think a woman is the most gorgeous woman on the planet, then kiss her and something just seems "off" in the despite your attraction to her and you don't know why...you just don't connect smoothly...that's chemistry.
And relationships aren't about us and ourselves, or just our priorities. And it is nearly impossible to know how oneself will act in a situation that they haven't experienced. Until then, it is idle speculation and musing, nothing more.
I hope you get that someday.
I know what my values are and I won't sacrifice them for anything. In a way, in order to be in a good relationship, where that is respected, I have to look out for what my needs are. If I know what my values are, why be with a woman who would dump me for over bad sex, or refusing to have sex until marriage?
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) and I don't feel like I'm a slave to the standards that media often promote, but we do tend to find the familiar attractive. This is true both in one on one relationships where a person we're with seems to grow more attractive, and it's also true on a larger scale where we're fed the same or similar ideas about what's attractive and the sheer volume of the images makes them familiar. I believe that this phenomenon only goes so far, but I think at least the margins of what we find attractive are shaped by what we see frequently.
