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I must be feeling nice today because I almost feel sorry for you. You have no idea what it's like to be married. Do you think anyone who gets married thinks they'll end up divorced? I bet if we polled all the divorced people here almost all of them would say they thought they'd be married to that person forever on the day of their wedding. I know I did. I was blind sided by my divorce. I would have sworn on a stack of Bibles the day of our wedding he would never have cheated or wanted out of our marriage. Things happen in relationships that you can't control because you can't control another person! It's easy for you to act smug about never being divorced because you've never been freaking married! Show me a couple who had been married for 25 years and I can accept their smugness. They've proved they can make things work.
As usual you are bring some sense to this thread. As you said no one gets married planning on getting a divorce (at least not people who are sane and have good intentions) but things happen. And honestly even if you have been married for 25 years doesn't give anyone a right to be smug. Plenty of people have divorced and were married longer than that. Since I have never been a parent, I never comment on how easy or difficult it is to raise children. Yet I am amazed how people who have never married have the formula to a successful marriage.
As usual you are bring some sense to this thread. As you said no one gets married planning on getting a divorce (at least not people who are sane and have good intentions) but things happen. And honestly even if you have been married for 25 years doesn't give anyone a right to be smug. Plenty of people have divorced and were married longer than that.
Correct, there is a large rise in Grey divorce of us in our 50's & 60's. I did it after a 35 year marriage and while I consider it an accomplishment I'm certainly not smug.
This doesn't pertain to this particular guy but one thing I noticed when I dated divorced dads was how much they spent on their exwives but not on me. I realize of course they just can't but it bothered me and partly why I didn't date them long.
That's what your posts all boil down to. You don't want someone who's divorced, someone who has children, someone who has a job with demands, because you want to be first before everything and have all the money, attention and time spent on you.
You talk about how you're such a beauty and your wild sexcapades in your earlier years, and then you're going to settle for a 50+ never married man who lives with his mommy and really isn't all that attractive. You're in a snit in this thread because his business took priority over you, yet you're over in the wedding forum planning your wedding day. You've barely been on a handful of dates, seems most of them included parents, and he's already telling you he loves you, yet you're wanting to post pictures of yourself with a different hair colour on dating websites for attention from other men.
Whenever I browse these forums, and posts by our legendary IDDY, I hug my Aussie gf tighter and thank God above that I moved out the US, if this is what I'd be dealing with
You're mad at your BF for cancelling your date so it got you to think about how you don't date divorced men because you don't want to be the second wife?
Actually, it makes sense, if someone is of the mind that they always have to come first in another person's life. She's mad that she's coming second to his business. Maybe logically, coming second to a business is not the same thing as becoming someone's spouse (which for all intents and purposes is a Number One position) after he had a spouse years ago, but if a woman is very self-absorbed, insecure, demanding, and needy, any time a man has or had any life or interest outside of her, it's going to bother her.
Which is why, IDDY, you will never be happy. Life just doesn't work the way you want it to, with you always at the center of someone's attention.
Whenever I browse these forums, and posts by our legendary IDDY, I hug my Aussie gf tighter and thank God above that I moved out the US, if this is what I'd be dealing with
Because all American women are the same and all Australian women are the same.
Whenever I browse these forums, and posts by our legendary IDDY, I hug my Aussie gf tighter and thank God above that I moved out the US, if this is what I'd be dealing with
My girlfriend is from the United States of America and she's not anything like the OP.
But second marriages have a high divorce rate so no I probably wouldn't be the last.
So do first marriages.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou
I do but too many here have no standards yet are single.
I would hazard a bet that some of us are single because we actually do have standards. We just don't publish them on a regular basis and define them differently than you do. And btw, a widower did live up to his vows so it's sad you lump them in the same category as someone who is divorced.
If I'm blessed with a second chance at love, he will be #2 as #1 died. He will also be the #1 priority in my life. My past relationship, while holding a special place in my heart, is just that: past.
I'm not selfish, I just don't want my money to go towards someone else's kids.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Keeper
I was the 2nd wife and he was the 2nd husband. We were very happy and we loved each other until the he passed away.
I certainly believe it won't be easy finding a man where you will be 'his' first unless you are in your early 20s. He may tell you, you are his first but are you really?
But the thing is both of you were the second spouse. I wouldn't have a second spouse unless obviously I married someone else.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rakin
IDDY....
I wouldn't date you either because your a 40 something that's never been married, don't have sex and have way too many rules.
You should marry Taco dude cause the odds of you finding someone else in the US are slim.
Is Taco Man gay and live at home with his mother ?
He's not gay but there are people like him and me out there. Yes I have rules and if more did we would have less divorces.
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Because all American women are the same and all Australian women are the same.
