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Who is saying anything about "need"? You make it sound like they are somehow mutually exclusive and if you have/use one you should ditch the other?
Okay then, why do you want pornography if you're satisfied with your partner? I should think the meaning of being sexually satisfied is that you don't want/need anything else.
People should ask themselves "why" more often. Why do they want to see a stranger naked instead of their husband/wife? Why is every other sort of using another person to satisfy you sexually cheating but this isn't? Why should a woman just "accept" it, you know, figuring she's not one of those who think it's justified all on her own?
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
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Quote:
Originally Posted by monumentus
I do not think so. Or at least I have seen no reason to think so. "desensitised" to what exactly? Or how? What do we even mean by that?
I eat and drink every day - I do not become "desensitised" to hunger or thirst. Quite the opposite as the more one eats and drinks the more the body wants.
So what gives people the idea that increasing the number of ejaculations one has will "desensitised" them to wanting or having more? I am starting to fear "desensitised" is just a buzz word people throw about on this topic without actually meaning anything by it.
Actually I think I've been desensitised to stimuli. When I was a teenager, just the sight of a girl's bare leg was enough to really turn me on, not so much anymore.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic 2.0
Okay then, why do you want pornography if you're satisfied with your partner? I should think the meaning of being sexually satisfied is that you don't want/need anything else.
People should ask themselves "why" more often. Why do they want to see a stranger naked instead of their husband/wife? Why is every other sort of using another person to satisfy you sexually cheating but this isn't? Why should a woman just "accept" it, you know, figuring she's not one of those who think it's justified all on her own?
I guess it's the fantasy aspect. The porn star may be someone your SO isn't, or may do things your SO won't do. Sometimes it's just easier to get off on porn than persuading a reluctant spouse to have sex with you.
Okay then, why do you want pornography if you're satisfied with your partner?
Why do I want to go to the movie house and watch a movie if I have an otherwise full and interesting life? Unless I am bored with my life why would I need/want to fill my time in this way? It is simply because I _want_ to do so - and that is reason enough.
By your way of "thinking" if you are happy with something you should not want anything more/else. It does not work that way. I do not have to justify or explain what I _want_ to do. I want to for no other reason than I want to.
I have two partners - not one. We live a full and sexual satisfying life together. We also engage in looking at porn occasionally both apart and together. We do this because we want to. Plain and simple. I do not have to justify that want to anyone - much less you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic 2.0
Why do they want to see a stranger naked instead of their husband/wife?
Because they want to. That is reason enough. They do not have to justify it to you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic 2.0
Why is every other sort of using another person to satisfy you sexually cheating but this isn't?
Either CAN be. Neither is by definition however. It entirely depends on the relationship and the people in it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic 2.0
Why should a woman just "accept" it, you know, figuring she's not one of those who think it's justified all on her own?
I do not recall suggesting that she "should". She can if she wants. She can not if she does not want to. It is up to her, not you, or me.
Okay then, why do you want pornography if you're satisfied with your partner?
Why does anyone want anything when they're satisfied with anything else? Most things in life are not black-and-white or mutually exclusive. This is one of them.
When I was a teenager, just the sight of a girl's bare leg was enough to really turn me on, not so much anymore.
One wonders if that has more to do with simply growing up and maturing than it has to do with anything this thread is about. Forget bare legs. There was a time when even the sound of the word "girl" was enough to send tingles throughout my sex system.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,034,272 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by monumentus
One wonders if that has more to do with simply growing up and maturing than it has to do with anything this thread is about. Forget bare legs. There was a time when even the sound of the word "girl" was enough to send tingles throughout my sex system.
LOL I think in my case it's also because I got more used to it. I guess I was too horny back then, but now I kinda wish I had more of a sex drive actually.
I spose it's easier to understand why the Victorians were so prudish after all.
Isn't that what the porn is anyways? Showing how we see sex (or how the porn actors wants to emulate our fantasy).
I.e. A guy with a really long "friend", i-don't-care attitude, without any problems such as premature ejaculations or "can't get it up" is an avatar of who the viewer wants to be. This is why it's crucial to cut out his head.
This is also why passionate sex is exclusively lesbian sex - you either have double joy or you imagine yourself in the place of one of those women, successfully making the other woman to orgasm.
A woman is always willing, you're also so great that you can be pool boy or pizza delivery boy and she is a hot model, married to a rich guy, having a huge estate (and yes, she'll get an orgasm when she just sees your package, then she'll get on her knees when SHE undresses you... and initiate the whole deal). She'll be either as equally or even more aggressive to test all positions and to take charge, often switching during sex, to change power dynamics. A minute before you were in control, then she gets on top and takes charge, then you take control agan, then she takes control, etc. *You're still the one dominating the whole intercourse because she moans in orgasms while you're so cool that you can go on in joy - "you're doing it right" and she's going to be addicted to your super skills*
This thing goes on for so long until she gets exhausted but you're so great that you can go on for a whole day without uttering a single word - thus you need to orgasm yourself in the end, usually over her face, to prove your skills (and she'll like it too). During this whole time she'll be having orgasms the whole time, of course. Then you walk out back to your work, delivering pizza.
I've read about this in the newspapers and their research on old description of mainstream porn in the 90s, done by various psychologists. Interesting thing was that the research they cited was paid by the PORN INDUSTRY, for the sole purpose of making porn "female-friendly" and they also made interesting notions how to make it more "female-friendly" to have - make actors either fake orgasm much better or have the sounds altered and synced with the video, add much more passion, make the guy moan as well, make less violent scenes and add more kissing, blah blah, and do all that while not alienating the guys who want to watch it, so that they can watch it with their girlfriends/wives/solo at the same time. The result of it was the notion that more and more couples were seeking for amateur porn instead of mainstream porn when they wanted to show the "more realistic porn" to married couples, so the answer was the huge "home-video" industry (done by professional actors, of course). General conclusion was that the focus on "female-friendly" porn is the future because guys are much more tolerant and the key to get more audience and marketplace's control is to cater to female population in the future.
One might say that women are much more porn-friendly than the previous generations of women, but the industry might claim that it's actually due to their successful psychological strategy and profiling.
I guess it's the fantasy aspect. The porn star may be someone your SO isn't,
Well obviously. Otherwise, I wouldn't have a problem with it
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20
or may do things your SO won't do.
But that's just it. Men/women wouldn't be expecting things that the average woman/man won't do if they didn't watch pornography or share these details in public forums, etc. I mean, without knowing what "things" we're referring to, my default guess would be there's a reason your SO won't do it. They consider it degrading, risky behavior, etc. and if either of those opinions are true, the pornography viewer shouldn't be entertaining these ideas in the first place. Sure, there are some sexually "rigid" men and women out there (for lack of a better word) who refuse to do things they probably should consider doing, but that's why you discuss these things before getting in a committed relationship with them. And I would think men and women can pick up on the sort of rigidity that would be opposed to oral sex in general, for example, while they're dating.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20
Sometimes it's just easier to get off on porn than persuading a reluctant spouse to have sex with you.
Well, if pornography can do the trick, so can a picture/video (or perhaps just a memory) of a sexual encounter with your SO or them naked, etc. If they're worried the picture/video may fall into the wrong hands, they can keep their face out of the shot. Now if they're just not cooperating, and a picture of them clothed in conjunction with a memory of sexual encounters with them isn't enough for you, you make it understood you'll be turning to pornography. At least you know you tried.
But I suspect that the vast majority of pornography viewers don't even try to make their SO "enough"; that's what I don't understand.
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