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You are comparing apples to oranges. More appropriate would be to compare an artificial vagina to a vibrator. How would you like your man to do an artificial vagina instead of you?
So you are saying that, for you, masturbating with a fleshlight is categorically different from masturbating with your hand? Or that you don't use porn with a fleshlight?
I could be wrong, but my impression is that, for almost all women, masturbation and vibrator are equivalent. (Myself, I am a weirdo in this way.)
Men don't need to porn in order to become desensitized. They're going to fap themselves into submission if that's their prerogative. Porn has nothing to do with it. I have no issues, with porn. I watch it. Everything in moderation
There are any number of reasons for a man to watch porn and just as many for her/his partner not to be happy about it. So, my suggestion is to tell your perspective "mate": "I watch a lot of porn. Will that bother you?"
from talking to a few of my girlfriends, they expect 'porn star' quality sex even if the woman isn't comfortable with certain aspects of it.
Yet I have never met any guy OR girl saying the above stuff. Once. Ever. This is the danger of basing opinion on nothing but anecdote. You find that there are always people with the exact opposite anecdotes. As such the above might say more about the company you keep than men in general.
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Originally Posted by JetJockey
more and more are choosing internet porn over a real, live woman because in porn you get airbrushed perfection, fake moaning and women who are willing to do basically anything. Why would you choose an actual woman who may have opinions or even preferences when you can use porn?
Again this does not match a single guy I have ever met. Every guy I met would pick a real actual woman over porn any time - because they are real - and because you are the one having sex with them not the guy in the video.
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Originally Posted by JetJockey
He was really into porn and constantly compared my body and what I was doing with him in bed to the porn he'd seen.
Then he was an ass and thankfully there is little or nothing I can see to suggest that he is in any way comparable to the "average" guy. I would certainly be wary of extrapolating one single anecdote into a generalisation about men.
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Originally Posted by JetJockey
I have known a few that do consider it cheating (which is ridiculous)
No. It is not. The mistake here is to assume that everyone in a relationship should have the same standards. It is not so.
Some people are ok with porn. Some people are not. If you are in a relationship with someone who is not - but you engage in watching/using it anyway then you have committed an infidelity with regards that relationship. This is not "ridiculous" any more than you liking chocolate while someone else does not is "ridiculous". It is all a matter of personal boundries and expectations - all of which differ from person to person and relationship to relationship.
Looking over your posts I am starting to get the clear impression that you think what happens to you or your friends is true of everyone - or what is right or wrong for you should be right or wrong for everyone. Every post so far drips of this. It is a world view you would do well to divest yourself of however.
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Originally Posted by JetJockey
I've also known a few where men have actually repeatedly turned down actual sex with their girlfriends/wives to watch porn. In fact, I've heard about the latter quite often.
I am sure it happens. But I expect the reasons for it are varied. However I doubt it is all that common really - though I would welcome any statistical citations on the matter rather than your impression off the handful of anecdotes you have heard about allegedly.
As another user pointed out there exists porn addiction. There is also just lack of energy and time. Sex is great but if done right it takes time - effort - foreplay - energy - and more. Sometimes people just want a quick effortless release. As society and life becomes busier - more stressful - and demanding I would be entirely unsurprised to see small increases in the people preferring mastrubation over full sex. Just as we see people preferring unhealthy and unfullfilling fast food over fresh home cooked meals.
But I wonder, are women finally outgrowing this naïve view of men - that our basic impulses are disgusting? It is my perception that younger women are generally more accepting of pornography. More and more women admit to using porn themselves. But I don't know if there have always been women who are comfortable with sexuality and would have always been okay with porn, or if the views of women are indeed generally changing across the board.
This is an interesting theory, and probably has some validity. I can think of women I dated in my 20's (well over a decade ago, and nearly two decades ago in one case) who really liked porn, but it does seem like a higher percentage I encounter now at least accept it as within the realm of normal, whether they really like it or not. I thought that it was just because I've dated more progressive, open-minded, educated, experienced (and less religious) women as I've gotten older, but you could be right that there has been an across-the-board shift, as well.
I think Third Wave (sex-positive) feminism has played a role in this, encouraging and embracing sexual freedom for all, along with shows like Sex In The City. I personally hated that show, but I loved the effect it seemed to have on women in their 20's and early 30's (my age at the time the show was big) in terms of encouraging them to openly embrace their sexuality in the same way that men have long been encouraged to do.
I think you're looking at it a bit wrong... I've noticed that men are MUCH pickier about women (especially their looks) and from talking to a few of my girlfriends, they expect 'porn star' quality sex even if the woman isn't comfortable with certain aspects of it.
While it's silly to expect any kind of sex from anyone, there are women out there who like porn-style sex, and men out there who don't. It sounds to me like these women just aren't sexually compatible with the guys they were with, and probably should move on.
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Originally Posted by JetJockey
For example, my ex. He was really into porn and constantly compared my body and what I was doing with him in bed to the porn he'd seen.
This just sounds like a classic case of a guy being a jerk. I don't think porn made him that way. If porn didn't exist, he'd have been comparing your body to models, or actresses, or the checkout girl at the grocery store. I'm glad he's your ex, for your sake.
I can't stand pornography, and I can't understand the need for it if you're in a healthy relationship with someone you love.
Wtf's the point in even being in a relationship if you still need your digital girl to get off?
So you're saying the only point of being in a relationship is having an orgasm? Lots of people have sexual things they enjoy but don't necessarily "need to get off." Porn is one of many such things for many people. If someone needs it to orgasm, then that falls into the realm of fetish, and can be unhealthy, particularly if their partner isn't into it, obviously. That's a small minority of porn viewers, though.
Masturbating and masturbating to internet porn physically and mentally desensitizes men.
If you're a single man and you want to sleep with more women, stop masturbating.
Finding a woman to have s*x with and reproducing is the single most innate biological drive we have.
By touching yourself, you are killing and depleting this drive. You're ridding yourself of sexual energy, your mojo.
Withdraw from touching yourself for a few days. Then a week. If you can make it that far, withdraw for a whole month. Women will feel your sexual energy from 20 feet away.
So you're saying the only point of being in a relationship is having an orgasm?
I'm saying the relationship should meet this need. If you have to turn to pornography to be fully satisfied, you might as well just call your SO a friend/roommate because apparently they're not cutting it in your mind as a significant other... quite obviously, because they're no more "significant" than a friend with benefits.
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Originally Posted by Plzeň
If someone needs it to orgasm, then that falls into the realm of fetish, and can be unhealthy, particularly if their partner isn't into it, obviously. That's a small minority of porn viewers, though.
Oh, pornography doesn't have to become something one needs to get off to be unhealthy. There is a ton of evidence against pornography, both in terms of addiction and other sorts of harm. I didn't plan on getting into all that with you, however. I'm just curious as to why a man who supposedly loves the woman he's with... needs someone else to satisfy him sexually. It may not be the entire point of a healthy romantic relationship, but it is what sets it apart from just a really good friendship.
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