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I feel like what you just described is what can make online dating hard: it becomes more akin to shopping for a person and when you don't have that instant connection right away then people immediately discard that person in search of that.
That's why online doesn't work for me. Yes I do have a physical type in mind but would not reject a man who doesn't fit it. I have dated men not my physical and some were great. However there are types that really do repulse me and likely wouldn't date online but may consider offline. I normally looked at the profile first and then the photo because my morals are more important than looks.
Most women get a lot of responses, sometimes hundreds. Even average-looking and slightly below average-looking women get masses of messages per week. Believe me I have made fake accounts possing as an average-looking female(s) and I was blown away by the amount of volume I was getting. Sometimes over 50 messages a day. God knows what the really hot girls get.
In the 6 months I was on Plentyoffish I got maybe 5 unsoliciated messages, all from obese women. I had a real good profile with an up to date picture, don't think I'm that bad looking guy but obviously average.
For the average guy that doesn't like to beg and face 1000 snubbed messages before he gets a reply it is pointless.
A good looking hunk or male model will not have any trouble WITH WOMEN SENDING 1ST CONTACT MESSAGES.
Women on dating sites are holding out for the best looking guys because they can afford to filter like that. The high male sex drive and lower standards makes sure very few women go un-messaged.
I've been on POF for a little over a month now and have received less than 10 messages total. I've been on OKC for a few months now (on and off) and the last message I received was nearly 2 weeks ago. I also send out a lot of messages and rarely receive a response.
Either I'm just suuuuper unattractive or I'm doing something wrong.
I've been on POF for a little over a month now and have received less than 10 messages total. I've been on OKC for a few months now (on and off) and the last message I received was nearly 2 weeks ago. I also send out a lot of messages and rarely receive a response.
Either I'm just suuuuper unattractive or I'm doing something wrong.
I've done the little 'eharmony'/'match' free weekends and whatnot, but they usually want your credit card info before giving you the 'free trial' and I'm not going to do that.
I didn't have luck either. I tried Match years ago and met a few but no relationship.Tried CatholicMatch, met a great guy who would be perfect if he was older and lived closer. Tried the various free sites and met a few losers and one guy who told me he felt no chemistry after our first (and only)date. I got a lot of responses, this is true but most were either looking for sex or men I wasn't open to (namely dads and much older).
Last edited by Idon'tdateyou; 06-23-2013 at 02:48 PM..
I've done the little 'eharmony'/'match' free weekends and whatnot, but they usually want your credit card info before giving you the 'free trial' and I'm not going to do that.
I think it would be worth it for you to give it a shot, and if you're worried about security concerns you could get a pre-paid card, and remember to cancel it before the free trial expires...
I think it would be worth it for you to give it a shot, and if you're worried about security concerns you could get a pre-paid card, and remember to cancel it before the free trial expires...
I'm not going through that much just to get a few dates. If I can't even get more than a few messages on a free site that is KNOWN for women apparently getting hundreds of messages a day how is paying $40 a month going to help?
I'm not going through that much just to get a few dates. If I can't even get more than a few messages on a free site that is KNOWN for women apparently getting hundreds of messages a day how is paying $40 a month going to help?
I am not suggesting paying 40 a month, I am suggesting the free trial + cancel, making it an actual free trial. The paid sites should have a bigger pool of quality men not looking for just sex, so you ought to give it a try.
Also, hundreds of messages a day might be a lil exaggerated...
...Right?
I am not suggesting paying 40 a month, I am suggesting the free trial + cancel, making it an actual free trial. The paid sites should have a bigger pool of quality men not looking for just sex, so you ought to give it a try.
Also, hundreds of messages a day might be a lil exaggerated...
...Right?
They may have a bigger pool of quality men, but if the lower quality men on the free sites aren't interested, why would the 'higher quality' men be interested in me? I'd go for the paid site if I was getting a ton of messages on the free sites but not finding anyone I connected with... but since that's not happening I doubt the pay site would be any better.
I'm not going through that much just to get a few dates. If I can't even get more than a few messages on a free site that is KNOWN for women apparently getting hundreds of messages a day how is paying $40 a month going to help?
If you're not getting bombarded by messages from men on a free site, assuming you are relatively young and not obese, you are doing something wrong with your profile.
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