Ladies, in real life how often do older men hit on you? (attractiveness, personality)
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Yes, that's my experience, too. I don't agree that it has anything to do with genes or having kids, but I notice that the young women dating older men IRL, as opposed to in movies and stuff, are usually not women who would be able to get dates their own age.
And neither are the men. The RL couples seem to mostly consist of two people who are frequently rejected, who have found each other.
And, you know, bully for them .
I thought these comments were interesting. I've also seen that there tends to be a different sort of dymanic with couples that have a a very large age difference. Sometimes it is that the woman is looking for a situation of being taken care of economically when guys her age simply haven't gotten there yet.
A friend of mine in high school started dating an older guy before she had even completed school. She, whether consciously or not was looking to be taken care of. He was looking for someone that was naive, would look at him in a less critical eye, and could be more easily controlled. Had this guy dated women dated women closer to his own age, I think they would have been better at deducing he wasn't what he appeared, or sold himself to be.
What does 'built like Johnnie Depp' even mean? Scrawny and skinny and like a junkie?
Johnnie Depp is super hawt, but it's not for his build, really. Well, I tend to go for skinny IRL, but I don't think that's why most women like him. The characters he plays, and his skill at doing so, is what it is.
Edward Scissorhands is so charming and sweet, and I liked his courage in the first Pirates, playing Capt Jack so swishy and faggy. It was like a slap in the face to traditional gender role stereotypes.
Which I kinda think that dude above would not go for .
Depp is hot but I am willing to think he only thinks he looks like him. I remember one guy I knew always claimed he looked like Brad Pitt but the only thing they had in common was sometimes they looked scruffy (and this guy always looked scruffy). The guy was fat too.
Always! It seems that once I left high school and lived on my own, I've been a magnet for men at least 10 years older than me. Men within 5 years of my age up or down rarely have wanted anything to do with me. And I don't like it one bit It makes me wonder, "Gee, do I really look that old for my age?"
Next time, I should just ask them if they have a son (or grandson) that they could introduce me to.
Last edited by temazepam; 06-23-2013 at 08:44 PM..
We aren't talking 9 years difference, more like old enough to be my dad. However I didn't want him because he was older, nor did he want me because I am younger.
That is most typical in my experience. My sisters always admiring one of the good looking men my dad worked with comes to mind. Nothing was going to happen, just a teen crush.
I don't understand what you mean women want older men because their genes are proven...what does that mean? Wouldn't the best expression of a man's genes be more evident in a twentysomething?
When a young woman dates a young guy, she typically dates him for his potential, as who knows what he and his career would turn out in 20 years. But a middle aged guy, what you see is pretty much what you get.
Perhaps. I just know it's extremely common in my own relationships and those of my family members and friends, to the extent that I would consider it to be pretty normal. The reports of others on forums like this and in the media seem to support that. I don't know what the actual data for the general population say.
If I find some stats, I'll post them.
In the past I've worked with issues related to the elderly. What I noticed that even 60 or 70 years ago more marriages occurred between people closer in age than not. If you are talking about marriage, it is far more common for people to date closer in age than a gap of larger than ten years. This seems (in my view) to be consistently true no matter what the age group. When you consider some relationships start in high school or college, they would be between people of similar age.
I think that many women in the back of their mind do consider certain factors as more desirable or less desirable when choosing a spouse. Many don't wish to be young caregivers to an older spouse. Many don't want to have long periods of widowhood. Between longer life expectancies for women, and the age gap between my parents, it means that more than likely my mom will have outlived my dad for 20 years. If she lives as long as her mom she'll have been a widow for 40 years.
Dating without the expectation of a LTR or marriage might be different though. Or marrying someone who you don't wish to have children with.
As far as my comments about the media, I think the desirability of much older men is overhyped by Hollywood.
I think older women are a bit more lenient in what age range range they were willing to date. When I was younger though, it was rare for a women in her twenties to want to date substantially older.
Depp is hot but I am willing to think he only thinks he looks like him. I remember one guy I knew always claimed he looked like Brad Pitt but the only thing they had in common was sometimes they looked scruffy (and this guy always looked scruffy). The guy was fat too.
No I do not look like Jonny Depp, I only said I am built like him - rather small framed and very average in height. I go to the gym regularly so I am a little more muscular. If what people say about body composition is mostly genetic is true, I guess I can understand why certain women find me appealing.
When a young woman dates a young guy, she typically dates him for his potential, as who knows what he and his career would turn out in 20 years. But a middle aged guy, what you see is pretty much what you get.
Well most young women are still willing to take a chance on potential though...or do you think otherwise.
They actually use to his on me MORE when i was 19 and under. hahaha! I seemed so "mature" and "grown up" to them back then for some reason? As soon as I hit 20 it was like they saw me as "privy" to their tactics or something and chilled out.
Well most young women are still willing to take a chance on potential though...or do you think otherwise.
I certainly agree. A woman I knew who was 25 said that to me. She got the hot for Scott Glenn who was 49/50 at the time and told me she was dating someone she met in college because he had potential.
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It makes me wonder, "Gee, do I really look that old for my age?"
