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ergo from a man's perspective it's usually getting the woman to sleep with you, and from the woman's perspective it's usually holding out for.... something.
.
This perspective is widely held but fundamentally flawed. It's based on old-style thinking, pre-1960's, before birth control and women being treated as equal human beings who can make their own decisions.
I've never had to "get" a woman to sleep with me, and I've never had a woman "hold out" for anything. Maybe that derives from my attitude of seeking relationships over ONS "conquests." Yes, it's amazing: women like sex and want to have sex, too, only preferably with someone whom they like and respect (though not always!), and who likes and respects them in turn (again, usually).
Of course you'd say that, you're still a teenager, no? For me, sex has never been the goal of a relationship. The relationship is the goal of the relationship. If I don't feel like I know or trust the guy, I'm not sleeping with him until I feel the time is right. I'm picky about who I let inside my body, as I should be.
I am not the slightest bit picky about whom I sleep with. But if a guy thinks that sex is something to "get off of me", what else would he try to manipulate me for? Money? My car? ...
Manipulators are not nice people. Not nice people are not fun to be around. Not nice people also tend to stink in bed.
I am not criticizing you. Just shooting off your comments that we can have different roads and still arrive at the same place.
This perspective is widely held but fundamentally flawed. It's based on old-style thinking, pre-1960's, before birth control and women being treated as equal human beings who can make their own decisions.
I've never had to "get" a woman to sleep with me, and I've never had a woman "hold out" for anything. Maybe that derives from my attitude of seeking relationships over ONS "conquests." Yes, it's amazing: women like sex and want to have sex, too, only preferably with someone whom they like and respect (though not always!), and who likes and respects them in turn (again, usually).
That attitude is the very reason for never having to "get". I'd jump you.
Why? Lemme guess...if you can't get the woman into bed within the first 2 dates you move on and find someone else? Yeah, I've dealt with guys like you....no thanks.
2 dates? wtf? who is THAT impatient
3-5 dates, depending on how much I actually like the girl, waiting less than 3 is ridiculously impatient and will probably only get you.... errrr.... ke$ha basically
waiting more than 5 seems like a gigantic waste of time, because of reasons outlined by a blog I tend to read(WARNING: long):
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chateau Heartiste
Spoiler
(For those in the dark, the 3-date rule means pushing for sex by the third date, and if sex is not forthcoming by then, to jettison the girl and cut your losses, because odds are good that a girl who can wait longer than three dates to put out can wait much longer than that. Plus, a girl who will make you wait an inordinate amount of time is likely a girl who isn’t that taken by you. You will find it very difficult to achieve the all-important hand with such a girl.)
A mass movement 4-date rule, i.e., a temporary boycott of sex Lysistrata-style to weed out cads, will never come to pass. The reason why is simple: Women don’t actually want to weed out the cads.
In one of those mating market paradoxes that drives genuine niceguys insane with unrequited hatelust for the opposite sex, women are less attracted to the sort of man who is willing to abide women’s stated preference for delayed sexual gratification. In other words, if you sincerely agree, tacitly or openly, with the woman you are dating to her arbitrary timetable for sex — “Sure, we can wait, I respect you†— you will have decreased the chance she will ever have sex with you. In the primeval mind of a woman, the man who is willing to patiently endure her chasteness, without complaint, is a man who doesn’t have too many other options in women, and thus signals his low mate value. And the longer he is willing to suffer her clamped legs, the less attraction she will feel for him.
Yep, “I like that you respect my wishes†really means, when translated from the womanese, “You’re a boring loser for not disrespecting my wishes.â€
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle
Of course you'd say that, you're still a teenager, no? For me, sex has never been the goal of a relationship. The relationship is the goal of the relationship. If I don't feel like I know or trust the guy, I'm not sleeping with him until I feel the time is right. I'm picky about who I let inside my body, as I should be.
you're a woman(I think) it's different for you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TaoistDude
This perspective is widely held but fundamentally flawed. It's based on old-style thinking, pre-1960's, before birth control and women being treated as equal human beings who can make their own decisions.
I've never had to "get" a woman to sleep with me, and I've never had a woman "hold out" for anything. Maybe that derives from my attitude of seeking relationships over ONS "conquests." Yes, it's amazing: women like sex and want to have sex, too, only preferably with someone whom they like and respect (though not always!), and who likes and respects them in turn (again, usually).
I don't even know where to start, this post is fundamentally wrong.
I highly doubt that you're so awesome that women just fall into your lap without any effort on your part(if you are, then disregard all of my heresy for I know not what I say, great one.)
and there are plenty of women who'll forgo sex with a guy they like for some reason or another(if she didn't like you, there wouldn't have been a 4th date, and yet there are people who went on 4th dates without having sex yet.)
for men that means how long does it usually take to get a girl into bed when you date a new one
for women that means how long do you usually make the guys wait
How come the men get asked how long it takes to get a woman into bed but the woman is asked how long she usually makes a man wait?
Speaking as a woman (strangely enough because I am one) getting a man into bed has taken me anywhere from half an hour to a few weeks; making a man wait has likewise been on pretty much the same schedule.
How come the men get asked how long it takes to get a woman into bed but the woman is asked how long she usually makes a man wait?
Speaking as a woman (strangely enough because I am one) getting a man into bed has taken me anywhere from half an hour to a few weeks; making a man wait has likewise been on pretty much the same schedule.
Because usually a woman can get a man into bed on the first date....
3-5 dates, depending on how much I actually like the girl, waiting less than 3 is ridiculously impatient and will probably only get you.... errrr.... ke$ha basically
waiting more than 5 seems like a gigantic waste of time, because of reasons outlined by a blog I tend to read(WARNING: long):
I'm glad you think being around a woman is a waste of time unless she's putting out.
For me, it's refreshing to be around a man who isn't constantly pressuring me for sex, who isn't constantly trying to get into my house or drag me to his, a man who actually seems to enjoy me as a person and not just as a receptacle.
We've talked about sex (which again, is extremely refreshing) and we've both agreed it will happen when it's the right time and neither of us is pushing it.
I don't even know where to start, this post is fundamentally wrong.
I highly doubt that you're so awesome that women just fall into your lap without any effort on your part(if you are, then disregard all of my heresy for I know not what I say, great one.)
and there are plenty of women who'll forgo sex with a guy they like for some reason or another(if she didn't like you, there wouldn't have been a 4th date, and yet there are people who went on 4th dates without having sex yet.)
Your sarcasm is touching, but your misconceptions are appalling.
No, women don't fall into my lap without any effort on my part. That statement is pure ignorance. I have to work at finding dates just like most people, and in most respects I'm pretty average. (But if you want to believe I'm so awesome, I'll understand. ) Most dates don't go anywhere because one or both of us isn't interested (lack of attraction, lack of compatibility, etc.). However, when there is compatibility and attraction, the women all initiated sex by the third or fourth date.
There is no "game." There is no "get." They are not needed - indeed, they're usually counterproductive.
Devil, I understand you are a virgin, so I am going to try to be nice.
Men, and women, usually want to determine compatibility before sex, if they are interested in a LTR. Women also have to determine physical safety.
If a woman waits longer than the man does, it is usually because that's what the man needs. Many men are unable to take a relationship seriously if it becomes sexual too quickly. Women do not usually have this problem. In order to help him, she waits.
I was raised to not have sex until marriage, but I know times are very different nowadays & yes, I've ended up doing it before marriage myself, but it was YEARS into dating the person & I don't have sex that often...I'm just not a sexual person. This has happened 2x now...I've only had 2 SOs.
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) Most dates don't go anywhere because one or both of us isn't interested (lack of attraction, lack of compatibility, etc.). However, when there is compatibility and attraction, the women all initiated sex by the third or fourth date.
