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OP, I really don't understand why so many people are attacking you or being sarcastic with you. With the exception of vegetarianism and the occasional hockey fan, you've pretty much described many of the men I've known. People are reacting like you have this great big list of unattainable or unreasonable demands, but really, it sounds to me like you are just looking for an educated, liberal, cultured man who shares your beliefs, doesn't look like a slob, and won't cheat on you. You're not asking for traits that can't be helped, like height or age, and you're not demonstrating superficiality by focusing on weight (other than from a health POV) or possessions. Also, if you look at what you're asking for on a spectrum, a lot of those things are clustered together, like vegetarianism, socialism, and not following any religion, which speak to left-leaning ideology. DC is filled to the gills with such men. You'd have a field day there. I sure did.
Oh, and not for nothing, but all of those things turn me off in a blink of an eye. I wouldn't find any of that attractive either. Yuck. Just yuck. I have no desire to date someone who could be on Duck Dynasty.
YES, I am just "looking for an educated, liberal, cultured man who shares your beliefs, doesn't look like a slob, and won't cheat on" me.
Thanks for understanding me more clearly.
I think a lot of people are here on City Data because they enjoy arguing. Say anything even remotely attackable, and people will totally rain down with their comments of thunder
This really has nothing to do with what I'm saying. I'm saying - go outside, live your life, meet people, and see where things go. Just because a guy likes sports - it doesn't mean he's going to cheat on you. And just because someone isn't atheist doesn't mean that you won't be compatible. I'm pretty much an atheist - my husband was raised Southern Baptist but isn't religious at all. However, if he had been doing online dating - he might have checked off the "Christian" box just because that's how he was raised - even though he's never really believed in it. He would never call himself an atheist.
People meet all the time through work, school, parties, friends, activities, etc. - I know very few people that met someone because they hit on them. And like I said - even if you meet this Mr. Perfect you are seeking, he might be a real d-bag.
Atheist = doesn't think God, angels, Jesus rebirth, heaven, hell, Noah's Ark, etc. exists. If he doesn't believe those things are real, he shouldn't be calling himself a Christian.
Society in the US has raised me to celebrate Easter and Christmas. That doesn't make me Christian, though.
OP, I really don't understand why so many people are attacking you or being sarcastic with you. With the exception of vegetarianism and the occasional hockey fan, you've pretty much described many of the men I've known. People are reacting like you have this great big list of unattainable or unreasonable demands, but really, it sounds to me like you are just looking for an educated, liberal, cultured man who shares your beliefs, doesn't look like a slob, and won't cheat on you. You're not asking for traits that can't be helped, like height or age, and you're not demonstrating superficiality by focusing on weight (other than from a health POV) or possessions. Also, if you look at what you're asking for on a spectrum, a lot of those things are clustered together, like vegetarianism, socialism, and not following any religion, which speak to left-leaning ideology. DC is filled to the gills with such men. You'd have a field day there. I sure did.
Oh, and not for nothing, but all of those things turn me off in a blink of an eye. I wouldn't find any of that attractive either. Yuck. Just yuck. I have no desire to date someone who could be on Duck Dynasty.
Atheist = doesn't think God, angels, Jesus rebirth, heaven, hell, Noah's Ark, etc. exists. If he doesn't believe those things are real, he shouldn't be calling himself a Christian.
Society in the US has raised me to celebrate Easter and Christmas. That doesn't make me Christian, though.
He doesn't call himself a Christian. He doesn't call himself anything. My point was that if he had to call himself something on some sort of multiple choice thing - he might have. I don't know. But even if he wanted to - it's his choice. What does it matter? All that matters to me is that I'm with someone that respects my non-beliefs, isn't trying to convert me, and doesn't want to raise our children in the church. My point was that if we were doing online dating - we might never have met. I wasn't trying to get into a debate with you on who is allowed to call themselves a Christian.
YES, I am just "looking for an educated, liberal, cultured man who shares your beliefs, doesn't look like a slob, and won't cheat on" me.
Thanks for understanding me more clearly.
I think a lot of people are here on City Data because they enjoy arguing. Say anything even remotely attackable, and people will totally rain down with their comments of thunder
There are no guarantees for not being cheated on. There are many cities that are known for being liberal and having a lot of culture. NYC, Portland, etc. I would think that most major cities would have plenty of educated, liberal, cultured men. However - they might not have the same exact political beliefs and they may prefer different types of culture. I'm just saying that it's better to be open minded and find someone for who they are - not because they agree with you on everything.
OP, there was a time when I was all those things, but would have been far too old for you anyway. Besides, even having all the attributes in no way assures that you'd like that person or vice versa. Yes, it's a filtering mechanism, and out of those who pass the filter there may be one or two where there is mutual liking and attraction. These days I'm no longer a vegetarian, nor am I ideologically monogamous. The point of the latter is that people change, so what you find may not be what they remain.
Unfortunately my clothing is often disheveled, and I eat meat. And I’m nearly twice the OP’s age. And my political views are actually to the left of hers (yes, to the left). Otherwise her description would be eerily appropriate for me.
One does however wonder how such lists evolve over time. What happens if one meets a person fitting 90% of the points, but arrantly failing in a few? Perhaps those few are critical. Or trivial. Or worse yet, the one or two critical things never made the list. And then the list becomes more of an impediment than a guide.
I'm 5"3, 98 lbs. Petite.
I am Caucasian, and generally attracted to the same.
I don't want kids.
I get along with my family a bit but stay my distance from them because they have problems.
I walk often, but if I did sit ups and weight lifting, etc., I'd get major abs so I don't do much beyond stretching and walking/hiking.
Your list is a major fail.
- You're too short and too small. I like taller women with sexy curves.
- Your whites-only policy eliminates me.
- I love kids.
- I expect my partner to have a nice family that I can participate in. I want no part of people with dysfunctional family relationships.
- You don't sound very active. And what's wrong with abs on a woman?
OP, there was a time when I was all those things, but would have been far too old for you anyway. Besides, even having all the attributes in no way assures that you'd like that person or vice versa. Yes, it's a filtering mechanism, and out of those who pass the filter there may be one or two where there is mutual liking and attraction. These days I'm no longer a vegetarian, nor am I ideologically monogamous. The point of the latter is that people change, so what you find may not be what they remain.
OF course people change. Are you suggesting I let go of all of my standards just because the characteristics which I find favorable in a man may diminish over time? That seems like kind of a silly thing to say.
And OF COURSE I don't think that just because I man meets the qualifications I seek that we will get along famously. There must also be some personal chemistry. I'm not that dense, people, but thanks for your input regardless.
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