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I've cold approached many women in my lifetime. You are correct in your assumption. They don't want to meet guys.
Cold approaches generally only work in bars. I have had success during the day at places like grocery stores, but you'll probably have to approach 100+ girls before you find one that is open to meeting you.
It took me a few years after losing someone special due to my own mental issues before I realized my assumptions were incorrect. I will not blame women for my own insecurities. Therefore I disagree with your assumptions.
Bit off that you're not convinced as I highly doubt you've met every attractive gal. I'm considered extremely attractive and I'm untaken in the sense of not in a bf/gf relationship as I prefer to multi-date replacing the guys when I get bored.
Your post pretty much proves what most of these guys are saying. Namely, that society and women don't give a crap about men and their struggles, and never really have.
Men are all just here to serve you, and when one gets killed, gives up or drops out for whatever the reason, there is a line of useful idiots standing behind him to take his place.
Your survivability and day-to-day comfort is 100% thanks to men past and present, and yet you don't give two squirts about them.
Meh considering the jokes about the lonely cat lady I doubt that society and guys give a crap about gals and their struggles and likely never really have. If anything it seems guys dismiss it with gals have it oh so easy or belittle it with she's making a fuss or making a big deal out of nothing.
Though in my opinion an ugly/average guy not getting to date attractive gals isn't really a struggle. Though it does suggest some nice dichotomy to me that gals complain about rape, domestic violence, sexual assault, the general female population being called ******* and guys complain that the gal who is hotter than him doesn't want him.
On the bolded I recall a study show that female species are in more danger and have less of a chance of survival when male species are encountered as it's theorized the only protection females needs are from males. I'll try to edit to link it when/if I find it. Considering gals were seemingly regarded as male property and second class citizen I don't think gal's day-to-day comfort can be thanked 100% to males past and present seems more like it's thanked 100% to feminists for getting gals equal rights.
Bit off that you're not convinced as I highly doubt you've met every attractive gal. I'm considered extremely attractive and I'm untaken in the sense of not in a bf/gf relationship as I prefer to multi-date replacing the guys when I get bored.
a woman's course personality can make her ugly in an instant, no matter how esthetically beautiful.
It's funny. I have a female friend at work that says the same thing. She always goes on and on about how personality matters. Yet, the only guys she dates are tall and good looking. Never varies.
Most women are like this, in my experience. This is why I tell men to take advice from women with a grain of salt. Women say the politically correct thing, but act as I've said.
For women (just like men), the guy has to be very good looking just to get his foot in the door. Then he must have the personality traits the woman wants. This was echoed by a female poster earlier in this thread.
Egh she said personality matters I don't see you stating she said only personality matters so it's not her just being politically correct to date tall and good looking guys if they have personality. It's off to me how often guys go to absolute extremes like wanting a nice guy means that's all the guy has to be.
I don't think we disagree all too much. I said that it would seem women are more critical on looks. But if they are messaging men they think aren't good looking , then it makes sense that they are doing so because looks aren't all that important to them. Women are also very critical of their own looks for what it's worth.
This is not what's happening.
I want you to try an experiment. Make two online dating profiles: one of a good looking, tall guy and the other of an average looking guy or a good looking short guy. Send the same messages. Trust me, they are not messaging guys in equal distribution. Not even close. And the latter two guys will get very few (as in 1 or 2) messages, if any at all.
Trust me, I've tried it.
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But unfortunately, even though woman after woman here will say over and over again that looks aren't everything (or even their priority) when looking for a man, men here will often say they are lying because they know this one women who dates only "hot" men. I thought some hard data would be convincing since a woman's word doesn't seem to carry any weight, and nothing spells that out more clearly than the OK Cupid story.
A lot of women here SAY that we are wrong. Awesome. I'd like to see you ladies operate in real life. Something tells me the actions won't match up to the words. I can only go by my personal experiences and this is what I've seen time and time again.
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It's funny... you get these threads where some men will argue that all women care about is looks. Then a few weeks later you get another thread where some men will argue all women care about is attitude (bad boys). Then a few weeks later you get a thread where some men say women only care about status and money.... etc, etc. It's the same thread, just the one thing all women only care about changes... honestly, I think a lot of these guys are unlucky in love and don't want to work on themselves. So they make a simple excuse based on some trait they think they don't have that women want and say "women only care about ___" and blame women. Where does it get them?
These are not excuses. I get girls in real life. As I said, I currently have a FWB and I can go out whenever and meet girls at bars with ease. However, I fully blame women for their actions and, in many ways, for what society has become. Doesn't mean I can't attract them.
It's weird how women here assume that just because some of us do not like how women as a whole act, we cannot attract those women. I can't be having sex with women and be annoyed with how they act? That's not possible at all? Hmmmm.....
It took me a few years after losing someone special due to my own mental issues before I realized my assumptions were incorrect. I will not blame women for my own insecurities. Therefore I disagree with your assumptions.
So wait you are disagreeing with my agreement of your statement?
That is what's happening on OKCupid according to their data. Gals messaging guys they consider unattractive while 2/3's of males message 1/3 of the most attractive gals.
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Originally Posted by datxcali
I want you to try an experiment. Make two online dating profiles: one of a good looking, tall guy and the other of an average looking guy or a good looking short guy. Send the same messages. Trust me, they are not messaging guys in equal distribution. Not even close. And the latter two guys will get very few (as in 1 or 2) messages, if any at all.
Trust me, I've tried it.
Egh you're seemingly switching the goal post as it was stated that they messaged guys they considered unattractive not that they messaged them at the same rate as guys they consider attractive.
Quote:
Originally Posted by datxcali
A lot of women here SAY that we are wrong. Awesome. I'd like to see you ladies operate in real life. Something tells me the actions won't match up to the words. I can only go by my personal experiences and this is what I've seen time and time again.
The words (not being all about looks or looks not being that important) are backed up by actions though as shown by OKCupid's data of most gals messaging guys they consider unattractive.
Hmm I wrote a reply and the whole thing disappeared, let me try this again. Very many attractive women are single for two simple reasons. The first is that hot women are targeted by guys who like trophies. They are not appreciated for who they are, and they are quickly traded in for a younger, more gorgeous model. And end up single again.
The second reason is that beautiful women are in fact NOT approached because of the vast number of assumptions about them. A stunning woman can be sitting at a coffee shop alone and none of the 15 guys there will say hello. The assumptions range from 'She looks like she only dates rich men/She'll probably ice me if I go over there/She must be an airhead, no one is that gorgeous and intelligent/She's probably stuck up/She'd never go for a guy like me/She's probably had six guys ask for her number in the last half hour/She's probably waiting for her model-type boyfriend/She's so out of my league'...
And so on and so forth. Assumptions.
And that beautiful woman goes home, texts her girlfriend and says 'There really are no single men out there, or I guess I am no one's type. Cos I was at that coffee shop for two hours, it was full of guys and not one of them came to say hello.'
And again we are presented with this female "predicament". After thinking about it I have little sympathy for this situation. There are two methods to forming relationships as I understand. Approach or be approached. Men have, since the dawn of time, born the responsibility of approaching. To be approached as a man, is so infrequent it's statistically insignificant and cannot be relied upon as an effective method. Oh, and in before someone slings some anecdotal "evidence" of a friend of a friend who approached a man at their weekly basket-weaving Meetup and who are now happily married ever after.
Women on the other hand rely on being approached. If an approach is not attempted by a man she desires, frustration and disappointment rears. However, there is nothing preventing women from approaching. Unlike men, women have not one, but two methods open to them to form relationships. The refusal by the majority of women to engage in the proactive method to increase the odds of success smacks of a "princess" attitude. The woman in the above second reason story would have no one to blame but herself for not saying "Hi" to any one of the 15 guys in the coffee shop.
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