Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Being "in love" is not enough. Those "in-love" feelings are just hormones and brain chemicals. They fade for everyone. End it now or fully commit. Don't waste your time and hers being in limbo.
The reality is that men are the less flexible of the species. Women are more willing to put up with BS, and there are probably more women willing to be with a guy with kids than the other way around.
It's not fair. But it is what it is.
Some women are nurturers and some men are. Got to find the right personialty.
Net, women and men are different in many ways and that will always be true. Both sides need to reflect on this truth and appreciate that there are differences and then astutely and prudently respect, deal and cope with them in a wise way.
I agree. Unfortunately, the universities, the media, etc. indoctrinate people to believe that these differences shouldn't exist or are just minor things, when, in fact, they are major things.
Meh. Not everyone will want you--regardless of whether your a mother or not. It's a part of life. There are plenty of people who get rejected or passed over through OLD. And there are those that have great results--mom or not. I am a single mom, but I do not do OLD. Not because I'm worried that I wouldn't be able to get a date through OLD because I'm a mom, but rather I have never needed to use OLD to get a date. I have not had an issue yet, dating attractive decent men, as a single mom. Many of these men have been childless men. That being said, I will also argue that prior to having my son I didn't have issues getting dates either. So I would just surmise that nothing has really changed since I had my son. I would never use OLD at this point in my life, so I don't know if my advice is credible, but I will just say that there are plenty of men that won't date single mom's, and there are plenty that will... Can't get mad at the ones that won't, and have to open yourself up to the ones that will. Also realize that while there are plenty of negative stereotypes and judgements thrown out about single moms, if these stereotypes or judgements don't apply to you, or your situation, just ignore it and keep it moving. Let your haters be your motivators.
But I think the majority of us admire single moms for raising children by themselves.
I find this sequence of events more admirable: Get married. Then have kids. Then stay married, at least until the youngest kid is 18.
Or the alternative: Have unplanned pregnancy while unmarried?--Give kid up for adoption so you and your kid won't have to deal with the many inevitable social/economic penalties working against you.
A woman in her late 30s (namely 38), with a 18 yo child who is going away to college. Is she considered a single mother in the context of dating?
I dated someone who had 4 adult kids. I didn't think it would be a big deal. But it was too much for me. He also had 4 grandkids. Just too much family and not enough individual attention for me. He dumped me and rightly so. I kept thinking I could get used to it, but he was right...it wasn't going to happen.
But in my opinion, most single moms don't even want to date single dads. My girlfriend who has 4 kids was concerned about dating single dads because it would add more kids to their relationship.
In such a scenario, not only would there be more kids involved, but the single mom knows that the single dad would put his kids first over her. After all, she is putting her kids first over him. Not only that but most of his time and money would just go to taking care of his kids anyway. I honestly think that is why most single moms prefer to date men who don't have any kids!
Bottom line: Everyone has their selfish motives. Real life is not like The Brady Bunch.
Single Moms need love too and don't expect for you to pay our way, we're strong and independent because we have to be. I just don't understand why some or most men hate dating a single mom especially if she is attractive. I don't get it.
Probably for the same reason I wouldn't date a Single Dad even if he was very attractive. It's just one more issue that gets in the way of a relationship. And all the things that come with that child being there can make things very complicated (ex/other parent, child's needs, etc.).
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
4,375 posts, read 4,073,220 times
Reputation: 2158
Quote:
Originally Posted by mysticaltyger
Or the alternative: Have unplanned pregnancy while unmarried?--Give kid up for adoption so you and your kid won't have to deal with the many inevitable social/economic penalties working against you.
Why give them up for adoption if you are able to take care of them?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
