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Look, here's the bottom line: if as a culture we decide that we're all in it together, men can approach women and women perhaps won't reject them. Young people will get up to relinquish their seat on the bus for an elderly person, and drivers will stop to help a guy with a broken leg to replace a flat tire. But if we surround ourselves with icy cocoons of phony decorum, none of those things will happen.
It's all about culture. I give up my bus seat to elderly people and pregnant women. I don't do phony decorum. I don't think that's much of a West Coast thing. Get AAA roadside assistance. Nobody stops for me when I have a flat tire, either.
OhioP, you really should consider looking for a job in the West. I'm sure you could find something. You might not love it as much as the one you have now, but other things in your life might improve. It wouldn't hurt just to explore the possibility. There are tons of Russians on the West Coast, fwiw.
OP, have you considered tennis lessons and then organizing some mixed doubles? I have a large number of single female friends who play. They are all professionals (are not seeking men for financial support), interesting and nice people who have other hobbies as well (eg, reading, travel, trying new restaurants).
It's all about culture. I give up my bus seat to elderly people and pregnant women. I don't do phony decorum.
How old are you, Ruth? I suspect a generation gap here.
Frankly, I don't do anything for old people that I wouldn't do for the young, as they're generally nasty, rude, and insufferable before I get a chance to. I almost never see "old fashioned politeness" with the elderly. Conversely though, I had some friendly words with an old couple today. I was shocked.
How old are you, Ruth? I suspect a generation gap here.
Frankly, I don't do anything for old people that I wouldn't do for the young, as they're generally nasty, rude, and insufferable before I get a chance to. I almost never see "old fashioned politeness" with the elderly. Conversely though, I had some friendly words with an old couple today. I was shocked.
Haven't met a lot of nasty, rude or insufferable elderly...talking 70+ in this circumstance. Mostly in our area, it's just a matter of keeping them safe and comfortable, which might constitute as a form of respect. Shoveling their walk, checking in on them during power outages, walking over a plate of cookies to check on their general well-being or checking with them to see if they need something from the store before you go.
I get a kick out of it. I'm 33 years old, have a good job, not bad looking, exercise, lift weights and all, have a good moral base.. I don't care for bars at all. I don't get involved with people I work with. I can't for the life of me figure out how to meet eligible ladies I'm attracted to outside of work.
I guess church, but that in reality has been very poor. The gym, but that has not been an avenue either.. everyone is doing their own thing. There is online dating, but in my experience that has been terrible.
I am out of ideas.. guess just embrace solitude and celibacy for the remainder of my life lol .. maybe a sentence of torture would be less painful.
Join a bowling league, join a dart team, join groups that do things that interest you, go to the book shop, the library, the grocery, the park, roller blade, go golfing, play tennis, take a cooking class, take a ceramics class or a pottery class, anything to get yourself out into the world.
Haven't met a lot of nasty, rude or insufferable elderly...talking 70+ in this circumstance. Mostly in our area, it's just a matter of keeping them safe and comfortable, which might constitute as a form of respect. Shoveling their walk, checking in on them during power outages, walking over a plate of cookies to check on their general well-being or checking with them to see if they need something from the store before you go.
It's all about culture. I give up my bus seat to elderly people and pregnant women. I don't do phony decorum. I don't think that's much of a West Coast thing. Get AAA roadside assistance. Nobody stops for me when I have a flat tire, either.
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Last time I had a flat tire I had a half dozen guys stop and offer to change it. Granted I had already called to have it towed because I carry no spare on that car, but people do indeed stop.
As a single woman, I'm in agreement with usamathman. Seriously - get out of your own head and just focus on a good, casual conversation. Even if she is taken, you don't know how many single friends she just might have.
I'm in a similar rut as you, OP. I'm 33/f, divorced (with a kid) and am an introvert, but have a good career and am a productive member of society. I've basically given up on a dating because I don't play the game, and I am in an area that has terrible options with a fairly small population. But, I do enjoy striking up conversation at the grocery store every now and then just because - sometimes its nice to be social. There is opportunity in every aspect of your life outside of your home, you just have to get out of your own head.
thank you.
I'm not afraid, shy, of starting conversations or antisocial in any way.. I think this thread is somehow giving that impression unfortunately. I'm not even necessarily an introvert, but not overtly obnoxious and forward demanding to be the center of attention.
I think a big part of me not being able to have met someone has to do with not being in one location for an extended period of time due to school, trying to establish a career, etc..
I'm just venting a frustration on these boards.. It's a little different when you're 33 than when you are 22 trying to find an eligible partner.
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Granted I had already called to have it towed because I carry no spare on that car, but people do indeed stop.
