Is being a 24 year-old male virgin weird & wrong? (girlfriends, 2015, sex)
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I think the bigger issue is that he intends to remain a virgin indefinitely. She should know she will not be getting any sex.
Oh I see. I didn't read the whole thread so I missed the celibate part. Yeah he should definitely tell her that. My long post was more about a grown man in a relationship who is willing to have sex but is still a virgin for whatever reason.
I had 2 girls (who wanted to be my *** buddy) turn me down for one night stands when I told them I was a virgin (I'm not a virgin anymore) and these 2 girls were both my friends who I had known for over a year and they were very friendly and cool....
Having known me for over a year they knew I was a normal/cool guy so it wasn't the fact that they assumed I must be weird/off in the head because I was a virgin...it was the DIRECT fact that I was a virgin and nothing else that put them off....They both came up with some bull**** about why they didn't want to sleep with me and then ignored me completely for a week (which was odd since we were friends for a long time) and than after a week texted me again to hangout like nothing had happened...I went to hang out with them (because I enjoyed hanging out with them even if it was nothing romantic) and I was solidly in the "friend-zone" from there on out....I enjoyed hanging out with them so it wasn't that big of a deal....
My point? Even if you know the girls and they know you are a normal guy....I would still lie.
She basically goes out with him a few times and he tells her right before that he's a virgin. She basically tells him they can't do this and tells him to lose it to a girlfriend. It's pretty condescending but fortunately in the comments section a lot of women criticize her for it.
To be fair most women wouldn't want to have sex with a virgin in a one night stand. I mean if you courted them and went on a few dates I imagine it wouldn't be a problem. People generally have this idea that you should lose your virginity to a girlfriend. Being someone's first can be a lot of pressure and generally people aren't willing to do it unless there a certain level of commitment involved.
Yea they weren't looking for a relationship at all just a "booty call" (they are both very promiscuous feminist chicks), but I just thought it was weird how they rejected me (they did try to come up with some bull**** excuse to reject me kindly) and then kind of ignored me for a week after we had been pretty good friends for over a year....But after that week they did both text me to go to lunch and hangout and acted like nothing had happened (except they no longer gave me any sexual advances/signals and started acting much more "sisterly" with me..)....I knew within a week or so after getting back to hanging out with them that I was no longer a sexual option in there eyes...
I told them I was a virgin because they were my friends (who I see frequently) so I didn't want them to think that I was **** in bed after I lasted 1 minute (which they wouldn't have said to my face on the account of them being good friends with me, but would have probably thought like "WTF")....So I figured I would just tell them to give me a valid reason...
They never made fun of me for it (atleast to my knowledge), but girls can never keep there mouths shut so they may have accidentally blabbed it to another girl...
Agreed here. You being a virgin isn't bad. But for casual sex, people usually want someone who's already experienced, not someone they have to be patient with and have bad to just ok sex before getting to the really fun stuff. Of course some love the idea of being a virgin's first. But they may be a are breed, where someone actually looks forward to that. Otherwise, people just deal with and accept it once they find out, but there's no thrill to it.
If it's a relationship with commitment and emotions, then people are bound to be more patient.
They were both very sexual/experienced (for whatever reason I've noticed that friendly "bubbly" girls are usually very sexually active more so than the average girl) so it was just a wrong fit for me I think....
I think they intended to **** me just for pleasure and one night stands, but also still remain friends...Once they found out I was a virgin they both probably figured it would be to awkward and weird and it would ruin the friendship plus I was (likely) gonna suck and it might be an embarrassing/awkward encounter....Girls hate awkwardness more than Guys do imo....
When I re-met up with them after the week they never made fun of me (which I would not have put up with at all), so I didn't hold it against them. Plus they were both very nice girls and fun to hang out with....So it was whatever
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
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The first person I have sex with will definitely know I am a virgin. She will also be someone I have known for months or years, having met her in a platonic context. Unfortunately, I keep getting told that people are uncomfortable to find out that I have feelings for them. The exception seems to be when I told them of my feelings directly. They still did not reciprocate my feelings, but at least they didn't "feel uncomfortable". And they remained friends. One of the two with whom I shared my feelings directly is my facebook.
It is fine to save yourself for marriage, however your love for Jesus shouldn't stop you from kissing or dating. What is your reason for telling people you are a virgin, it is really something you don't need to share?
It's not something that I have honestly shared with anybody. It gets inferred whenever you haven't been on a date or had a girlfriend and your friends have known you for many years. So I really honestly don't go proclaiming to everyone I meet that I'm a virgin. I only tell confidantes about that really. I guess it is easy for them to tell with me since my friends have known me for some years.
It seems to me that your problem is that your being influenced by normal life stuff. Starting to question everything surrounding your virginity but not the actual virginity. The pressure of family, the possibilities of human urges, the necessity of your religious views, the timeline of your investment in self control, and the dim prospects of a good partner. If you weren't a virgin none of those perspectives should change. Many people come to love biblical values after they have lost their virginity, had kids out of wedlock and so on. If the only reason you haven't lost your virginity is because of not finding the right woman then I would say perhaps you should reevaluate the core of your beliefs and how much you really believe them. I have never met a true "Christian" that questioned the power of their prayers in doing what is right for the right reasons in the reasoning of the words from the only example of right. Not to sound like a know it all, but marriage is a necessary step for true Christians to consummate. So alter your prayers accordingly and be patient. You don't get a pat on your back for being a virgin bro your supposed to be one if your single and a true Christian according to the Bible that you love. Looking to a website for wisdom on clearly defined matters like this contradict 25 years of seemingly guided actions you saw fit to follow. Not trying to offend you but I think you know when you stand near the "tree" the advice will always be to take a bite of the fruit!!! Wisdom is to get away from the tree!!! Hope you understand that.
Thanks for that advice. I know keeping my virginity (unless I find a girl to marry) is what I want to do. It's just hard whenever everyone around you keeps telling you how weird, strange, & awkward that is of a decision. It just wears on me a little whenever they say things like that. I do get tempted and all that inside, but the pressure from others gets at me the most. I guess I was just asking what others thought of it, to see what others thought too.
It's not something that I have honestly shared with anybody. It gets inferred whenever you haven't been on a date or had a girlfriend and your friends have known you for many years. So I really honestly don't go proclaiming to everyone I meet that I'm a virgin. I only tell confidantes about that really. I guess it is easy for them to tell with me since my friends have known me for some years.
Honestly don't tell anybody even a potential girlfriend or wife. If they ask just deflect and say you don't talk about that. Take your virginity to the grave.
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
4,375 posts, read 4,068,219 times
Reputation: 2158
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sjd1
Honestly don't tell anybody even a potential girlfriend or wife. If they ask just deflect and say you don't talk about that. Take your virginity to the grave.
I tell people about my virginity whenever it comes up. I don't avoid the subject. It is no great secret. It is not embarrassing so there is no reason for it to be a secret.
Not weird at all!!..I was a virgin until I was almost 26..I wanted to wait until i was married that's why it took soo long..I did not wait though..and highly regret it..now it means nothing to me anymore :/
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