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I know there is some regionality to this, but by all accounts this is the best.
In the 00s I would have suggested Match, but I don't think its all that anymore since people have flocked to OKC. I know of two marriages from OKC this coming summer.
I haven't been to Denver, but I heard CO is pretty cool (it was a big destination place, there and Boulder, along with Portland in the 1990s), I would think going to shows/parties, etc would be a great way to meet people. That is what I did around your age (then grad school) when I was in Madison.
Denver has a really good social scene for young professionals. I've definitely been putting more emphasis on IRL experiences than OLD, which I pretty much gave up on last winter. I usually hang around downtown a few times per week, especially now that it's getting warmer. I've joined Meetup groups, co-ed sports leagues, gone to live shows, etc. I have a pretty good core group of friends, but many are in relationships with the exception of a few. Maybe it's my perception, but it seems like everytime I meet people, they're talking about their SO. On my kickball team, just about all the women are in relationships. I so very seldom meet attractive (to me; I'm not that picky), personable, charming single women here. I just feel like this is a tough town to try to convert from being single to being in a new relationship.
I know there is some regionality to this, but by all accounts this is the best.
In the 00s I would have suggested Match, but I don't think its all that anymore since people have flocked to OKC. I know of two marriages from OKC this coming summer.
I haven't been to Denver, but I heard CO is pretty cool (it was a big destination place, there and Boulder, along with Portland in the 1990s), I would think going to shows/parties, etc would be a great way to meet people. That is what I did around your age (then grad school) when I was in Madison.
I've met hand over fist more people on POF, but I've met more dateable people through OKC, compared to POF or even Match. Match had the most quality overall, but I've been on it on 4 different occasions over the last 16 months, and it's only really good the first week. I could always secure a number and a date within the first week and then it just went dead. I wish I could only get a membership for 5-7 days at a time, because I was throwing away money with the monthly subscription.
I did Match about 3 months ago and exchanged my number with 2 women. Met up with one and she realized she wasn't ready to date and hid her profile. Never met up with the other, because once we sent pics back and forth, her body type was bigger than what I'm attracted too. Sweet person to talk to, but just didn't do it for me physically.
OKC gave me some good and fun dates, but I found the site to be sporadic on when it would churn me results. I'd have 2 or 3 days where it would roar for me and then just go absolutely cold, much like Match.
POF gave me the most dates, but it was with many women where they weren't the right person for me outside of meeting just that one time.
Denver has a really good social scene for young professionals. I've definitely been putting more emphasis on IRL experiences than OLD, which I pretty much gave up on last winter. I usually hang around downtown a few times per week, especially now that it's getting warmer. I've joined Meetup groups, co-ed sports leagues, gone to live shows, etc. I have a pretty good core group of friends, but many are in relationships with the exception of a few. Maybe it's my perception, but it seems like everytime I meet people, they're talking about their SO. On my kickball team, just about all the women are in relationships. I so very seldom meet attractive (to me; I'm not that picky), personable, charming single women here. I just feel like this is a tough town to try to convert from being single to being in a new relationship.
Everyone else is converting from singledom to in a relationship. Either everyone around you is meeting a really good match for them, or they're compromising on things to be involved with that person. Just like you, you want to compromise more to not end up in the dating market again. Who's to say all the people around you aren't or haven't done the same exact thing to get in their relationships? It's something to think about.
Everyone else is converting from singledom to in a relationship. Either everyone around you is meeting a really good match for them, or they're compromising on things to be involved with that person. Just like you, you want to compromise more to not end up in the dating market again. Who's to say all the people around you aren't or haven't done the same exact thing to get in their relationships? It's something to think about.
That may very well be the case. Thinking about it, however, doesn't really improve my situation much. It is what is is and I can't force any of these people to ditch their less than stellar SO for me. If people are in compromising relationships because they don't want to be single, then I guess I'm not the only one doing it. So be it.
As I stated before, I don't think I'm ever going to find a woman who's going to be perfect both on the physical appearance and personality spectrums. There will be flaws and there will be compromises made on both sides. With these women I spoke of earlier, it's almost to the point where I'm repulsed by the idea of being with them sexually. That's how little I'm attracted to them physically. Though this girl who I'm seeing has displayed some troubling characteristics, I do not feel absolutely repulsed by her either. I can't be with anyone who I'm repulsed by, either by their appearance or their terrible personality.
At this point, it boils down to whether I consider these issues to be real and significant for me, or if it's something that I'm over thinking and making a bigger deal out of than it is. This is what I'm trying to decide for myself.
Why are you resigning yourself to settling for less than what you want, as if you've somehow run out of time at age 29 and had better just pick someone, so this one will do?
Why are you resigning yourself to settling for less than what you want, as if you've somehow run out of time at age 29 and had better just pick someone, so this one will do?
I guess my point before was that I don't necessarily know if I'm settling for much less than I would be otherwise. You guys make it seem like there's this absolutely amazing woman waiting for me somewhere that's going to knock my socks off. I've been dating for a good, long while, and I'm just not seeing these characteristics in the women that I'm exposed to. I don't know what it is about me, but somehow, the crazies and less than desirables find their way to me.
You guys also make it seem like somehow being single is going to make it alright for me. What you don't know is that I've been single for the majority of my life. When I was younger, it was easier and it was a good time, because most of my friends were also single. As I get older, this is becoming more and more difficult to be the lone single guy. As my friends hook up and find their SOs, they don't hang out with me much anymore. Being single is just more isolationism, even more so because I have no family here. Maybe some of you guys have not been single long enough or recently enough to be familiar with this feeling. It is brutal and very lonely!
Maybe this girl is not perfect, and maybe I've had some personal hang ups about the things that she has said or done on previous occasions. But do you honestly think that someone that much better is going to find their way to me? I'm sorry, I guess I'm just not as optimistic as ya'll are based on my own personal experiences with dating. Quality women do not seem to be drawn to me, and I've tried very hard to make that happen. There's not really much else I can do to severely better my situation than it is now. This is why I'm trying to figure out if these issues are as significant as I originally thought. I will hopefully know soon enough.
I guess my point before was that I don't necessarily know if I'm settling for much less than I would be otherwise. You guys make it seem like there's this absolutely amazing woman waiting for me somewhere that's going to knock my socks off. I've been dating for a good, long while, and I'm just not seeing these characteristics in the women that I'm exposed to. I don't know what it is about me, but somehow, the crazies and less than desirables find their way to me.
You guys also make it seem like somehow being single is going to make it alright for me. What you don't know is that I've been single for the majority of my life. When I was younger, it was easier and it was a good time, because most of my friends were also single. As I get older, this is becoming more and more difficult to be the lone single guy. As my friends hook up and find their SOs, they don't hang out with me much anymore. Being single is just more isolationism, even more so because I have no family here. Maybe some of you guys have not been single long enough or recently enough to be familiar with this feeling. It is brutal and very lonely!
Maybe this girl is not perfect, and maybe I've had some personal hang ups about the things that she has said or done on previous occasions. But do you honestly think that someone that much better is going to find their way to me? I'm sorry, I guess I'm just not as optimistic as ya'll are based on my own personal experiences with dating. Quality women do not seem to be drawn to me, and I've tried very hard to make that happen. There's not really much else I can do to severely better my situation than it is now. This is why I'm trying to figure out if these issues are as significant as I originally thought. I will hopefully know soon enough.
There is that woman for you. But you probably won't find her while you are hanging out with Ms. Compromise.
Find more single people to hang out with and you won't feel so left out.
I guess my point before was that I don't necessarily know if I'm settling for much less than I would be otherwise. You guys make it seem like there's this absolutely amazing woman waiting for me somewhere that's going to knock my socks off. I've been dating for a good, long while, and I'm just not seeing these characteristics in the women that I'm exposed to. I don't know what it is about me, but somehow, the crazies and less than desirables find their way to me.
You guys also make it seem like somehow being single is going to make it alright for me. What you don't know is that I've been single for the majority of my life. When I was younger, it was easier and it was a good time, because most of my friends were also single. As I get older, this is becoming more and more difficult to be the lone single guy. As my friends hook up and find their SOs, they don't hang out with me much anymore. Being single is just more isolationism. Maybe some of you guys have not been single long enough or recently enough to be familiar with this feeling. It is brutal and very lonely!
Maybe this girl is not perfect, and maybe I've had some personal hang ups about the things that she has said or done on previous occasions. But do you honestly think that someone that much better is going to find their way to me? I'm sorry, I guess I'm just not as optimistic as ya'll are based on my own personal experiences with dating. Quality women do not seem to be drawn to me, and I've tried very hard to make that happen. There's not really much else I can do to severely better my situation than it is now. This is why I'm trying to figure out if these issues are as significant as I originally thought.
Oh come on - what's so bad about being single? I've been single for most of my adult life, with relationships only here and there. And indeed, consider that this woman is likely to DETRACT from your happiness with her issues rather than enhance it. In fact, she could really mess things up for you, it sounds like. A money-obsessed coke user is not a good bet.
Look, here's my thing about coke - most of the people I've known who use it even recreationally are complete douchenozzles. I have never met a person still actively using it who I've wanted to spend any time with. I just don't think they're happy people.
But on being single, I don't care if there's anyone who's right for me out there anymore, I guess. I've got the life I want (friends, house, dogs, books, financial stability, garden). Yeah, no sex is tough - I have an insanely high sex drive, but I'm thankful for ever advancing vibrator technology, which keeps me from making a mistake and banging a total douche, or worse, getting tangled up in a relationship with one. I've got a guy or two in my phone that I can call up if I want a booty call too.
I don't see why you see being single as isolationism. I have a ton of friends, and if an oddball like me can make friends, well... you should be fine. Get a dog. Join some groups. This is a city where it is very hard to be alone - the only friend I have who really struggles socially is a guy who has a debilitating illness that prevents him from taking part in things like hiking and league sports or being out in hot weather.
If all my friends are busy for some reason, I just take my dog to the dog park and find a dozen people to interact with, some of whom I know quite well.
I'd work on building a life for yourself, getting to a happy place in it and then maybe give looking for a relationship a shot. Can you imagine if you accidentally knock this winner up? *shudder*
I guess my point before was that I don't necessarily know if I'm settling for much less than I would be otherwise. You guys make it seem like there's this absolutely amazing woman waiting for me somewhere that's going to knock my socks off. I've been dating for a good, long while, and I'm just not seeing these characteristics in the women that I'm exposed to. I don't know what it is about me, but somehow, the crazies and less than desirables find their way to me.
You guys also make it seem like somehow being single is going to make it alright for me. What you don't know is that I've been single for the majority of my life. When I was younger, it was easier and it was a good time, because most of my friends were also single. As I get older, this is becoming more and more difficult to be the lone single guy. As my friends hook up and find their SOs, they don't hang out with me much anymore. Being single is just more isolationism, even more so because I have no family here. Maybe some of you guys have not been single long enough or recently enough to be familiar with this feeling. It is brutal and very lonely!
Maybe this girl is not perfect, and maybe I've had some personal hang ups about the things that she has said or done on previous occasions. But do you honestly think that someone that much better is going to find their way to me? I'm sorry, I guess I'm just not as optimistic as ya'll are based on my own personal experiences with dating. Quality women do not seem to be drawn to me, and I've tried very hard to make that happen. There's not really much else I can do to severely better my situation than it is now. This is why I'm trying to figure out if these issues are as significant as I originally thought. I will hopefully know soon enough.
You are not ready for relationships
You would rather be miserable and with someone who does not love you rather than be alone...
This reeks of desperation, and this whole thread jumped the shark about 30 pages ago
I just looked at your profile pic. WOW! THAT is you? And you say quality women don't find their way to you?? Even though you're involved in a lot of activities?
Is Chicago like the rest of the Midwest, where there's a strong tendency for people to pair off and marry early? Even the late 20's is early-ish, by West Coast standards. Fleur, you need to find a community where people stay single longer, so you'll have more dating prospects. Your yumminess and good-guy-ness are being wasted. Have you ever considered LA/SF area/Seattle? or NYC? btw, beach shots do you good. You should move to a beachy area.
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And you say quality women don't find their way to you?? Even though you're involved in a lot of activities? 
Have you ever considered LA/SF area/Seattle? or NYC? btw, beach shots do you good. You should move to a beachy area. 