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OK...you were ALL right. I was wrong. So wrong I had mistaken a pig for an elephant.
i logged into the phone service providers website. He gave me access without asking any questions. The history stayed for 90 days...starting Feb 15th, 2015. Since then he had been in touch with escort services at least 5 times. I havent checked every week. After knowing 5 times, whats another 5 going to do. That friend was bull****ting to protect his friend.
Now i am just waiting for the right time to talk. I am planning on waiting until Friday, take a day off and then talk to him. I dont think I can wait until the baby is here. He has another 3 months to come. So just maybe we will figure something out before that.
It seems the first trimester symptoms have returned. I keep vomiting all the time suddenly. I hope my BP doesnt drop. Thats not good for me.
I feel like dying.
Yes, I know its a sin to be pregnant and then kill myself. I wont do it. The urge is overwhelming. But I wont do it.
OP, do you have girlfriends you can talk to? You have a therapist. Hang on until you can get some help processing all this.
This is so strange, that he said back in December he wouldn't touch you. And all this time, he has stuck to his word. Maybe he justifies it by telling himself you're pregnant, but you said with the first pregnancy there was sexual activity. So you could discuss the problem from that perspective. However, at this point, you have to face the potential issue of STD's. He would have to get thoroughly checked by a doctor for any and all STD's that there's a test for, and there is no test for certain common ones, like HPV and chlamydia. He doesn't sound like the kind of person who would go through with testing.
You need some support. You're in this alone. Do you have at least one girlfriend you could talk to about it, and lean on?
OP, do you have girlfriends you can talk to? You have a therapist. Hang on until you can get some help processing all this.
This is so strange, that he said back in December he wouldn't touch you. And all this time, he has stuck to his word. Maybe he justifies it by telling himself you're pregnant, but you said with the first pregnancy there was sexual activity. So you could discuss the problem from that perspective. However, at this point, you have to face the potential issue of STD's. He would have to get thoroughly checked by a doctor for any and all STD's that there's a test for, and there is no test for certain common ones, like HPV and chlamydia. He doesn't sound like the kind of person who would go through with testing.
You need some support. You're in this alone. Do you have at least one girlfriend you could talk to about it, and lean on?
I have called and told my girl friend in Florida. What is she gonna do other than asking me to stay strong.
He has always been so consistent in his words. If he says something, he will do it. He said he will never touch me again and I think it could be true. How is it practically possible? By going to hookers i guess?
The issue of getting checked would arise if he agrees that he has been sleeping around. That or he may so, "dont worry about it. I am never going to touch you anyway".
How am i going to spend tonight and the rest of my life. To think we had been trying for a baby for over a year! And then when its finally happened, this nonsense. When it rains, it pours.
My friend is insisting I need to tell someone in Toronto itself about this and get her/him to wait around the block when I talk to husband. She thinks that way, in the unlikely event he starts to threaten you or harm you, help is around the block and would knock on the door in less than 2 mins.
I feel physically ill. I hope I dont have a miscarriage or something! I dont feel good.
I feel physically ill. I hope I dont have a miscarriage or something! I dont feel good.
You'll be ok, OP. Life goes on. It must, for the sake of your child and the new baby. Don't do anything rash. Try to see beyond this, to a new life. Clearly, this marriage is doomed, since he said he would never touch you again. (Unbelievable! For the rest of his life, he swore to not touch you?? Who does that?! That's not normal. It's an extreme reaction to an insignificant incident. This is abuse. ) Really, it's a good thing you discovered what was going on, because now you have an undeniable reason to get a divorce. Without this, you would have put up with the marriage. But now, this has given you a way out, and you can start a new life with your two children. Once you start fresh, there will be hope for a better future for all three of you. You will no longer be trapped. The future will be open, and full of possibilities.
I'm trying to introduce some positive thoughts, so you won't depress yourself and make yourself ill with your emotions. Try to use your mind to overcome this, difficult as it may be.
It's an awful situation, I'm so sorry. You can get through this, you have a lot of good things in your life to help. You have supportive parents who will be visiting you soon. Your friend in Florida obviously cares about you very much. You have a good job, which is fantastic. Your therapist will be an amazing resource for you right now. You are smart and sensible and you will get through this.
I'm trying to introduce some positive thoughts, so you won't depress yourself and make yourself ill with your emotions. Try to use your mind to overcome this, difficult as it may be.
Yes, Thank you. He comes home and behaves like nothing has happened. My mind keeps asking me questions, has this always been this way and if I have missed any obvious sigs etc. But I guess thats all too late to even ponder over now. No point.
I keep taking a deep breath.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nikitakolata
Is there any real need to confront him? Couldn't you just leave and then call him once you are already in another location?
Also, I hope you printed the phone records and also emailed a pdf of them to yourself.
Leave where? Hotel? For how long? I should confront him. Lets see what he says. I am going to have to leave him anyway. Its for the best. I feel so defeated and like someone said, there is no right time for these kinds of things to happen. I must have done something really terrible to deserve this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Butterflyfish
It's an awful situation, I'm so sorry. You can get through this, you have a lot of good things in your life to help. You have supportive parents who will be visiting you soon. Your friend in Florida obviously cares about you very much. You have a good job, which is fantastic. Your therapist will be an amazing resource for you right now. You are smart and sensible and you will get through this.
Sending good thoughts your way.
Yes thats true. If we count my blessing, I am educated, have a good job, supportive parents and friends. I do have some money. If I sell my shares and gather every penny, I should have at least $45,000. This is a lot more than a lot of women in my situation would ask for I guess? I really should count my blessings.
Yes, Thank you. He comes home and behaves like nothing has happened. My mind keeps asking me questions, has this always been this way and if I have missed any obvious sigs etc. But I guess thats all too late to even ponder over now. No point.
I keep taking a deep breath.
Leave where? Hotel? For how long? I should confront him. Lets see what he says. I am going to have to leave him anyway. Its for the best. I feel so defeated and like someone said, there is no right time for these kinds of things to happen. I must have done something really terrible to deserve this.
Yes thats true. If we count my blessing, I am educated, have a good job, supportive parents and friends. I do have some money. If I sell my shares and gather every penny, I should have at least $45,000. This is a lot more than a lot of women in my situation would ask for I guess? I really should count my blessings.
If I were in your situation I would probably be looking for an extended stay hotel (you know, one where the rooms have a kitchen) or an apartment I could rent month to month. I would just want to get out, I guess. I'm not a patient person though. Another thing you could look into is a rental through Airbnb. I host on there and people request long term stays all the time. Many hosts offer monthly rates and you can often rent an entire apartment/house.
You will get through this. I'm sorry it is happening to you, but you didn't do anything to deserve it. Don't blame yourself.
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I thought he was going out with his friends.
