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So this morning my coworker comes in and is in an UGLY mood. He tells me his wife texts him at her normal quitting time and tells him her and her girlfriend have to work late and she will call him on the way home. He thought it odd as she never works late but didn't think much about it.
Three hours go by and he hasn't heard from her so he texts to ask if everything is ok. Yep...leaving in 10 mins. An hour later he gets a text that her and her girlfriend "decided to go shopping and then to a bar for drinks and dinner" an hour away from where they live, and she is sorry she is so late and he should make himself something to eat and she would be home in an hour.
He called her and ask why she just didn't tell him that in the first place and he wouldn't have sat and worried about her and would have eaten before 9pm. She said she told him she would be late and it wasn't planned it just happened and it was no big deal. To say he is pissed is an understatement. He is actually talking about leaving her over this he is so upset. Apparently she pulls something like this every six months or so.
He ask me what I thought he should do and I told him it's hardly worth leaving her over, but he is mad she won't apologize and doesn't think she did anything wrong. If it was me I would be upset too, but not upset enough to leave. It seems kind of childish behavior for a woman in her 40's. I have to wonder if she didn't have a hookup with another guy.
That was really crummy of her to do. I can understand why he is suspicious now.
Edited: Sorry, I misread. You are suspicious of her, which I get. Have you talked about this woman before? I seem to recall that you have a buddy whose wife you can't stand, but maybe I am thinking of someone else.
That was really crummy of her to do. I can understand why he is suspicious now.
Edited: Sorry, I misread. You are suspicious of her, which I get. Have you talked about this woman before? I seem to recall that you have a buddy whose wife you can't stand, but maybe I am thinking of someone else.
Nope....only met her once and didn't get a good vibe. I think he's a doormat based on our conversations.
He needs to have a serious discussion with her. Very irresponsible and immature on her part.
Very inconsiderate and rude too.
They need to talk about this. It sounds like he doesn't have an issue with her having "girls night out" twice a year, but the way she does it (without telling him and lying about it) is wrong. Maybe she needs to hear him say he's okay with it and he needs to hear her promise (and keep the promise) to tell him upfront when she is planning on doing this kind of thing.
When I come home, baby
My house is dark and my pots are cold
You're hanging 'round, baby
With Jean and Joan and who knows who
I'm getting tired of waitin' and foolin' around
I'll find somebody who won't make me feel like a clown
This can't go on
Lord knows you've got to change
Seems like a red flag to me. She is probably banging some other dude or dudes on the side. Obviously the guy sees it the same way, if he is considering leaving her because of it. Id tell the guy to trust but verify. I once dated a young hottie that lied to me about what she had for dinner the night before. I left her because of it
I can only react to the facts known. That said, it sounds like she did let him know she would be later than usual and he is overreacting to the fact that his expectation of what "later" meant was different than hers.
She "pulls" this once every six months? "Pulls?" Pulls what? Pulls wanting to have a night to spend with a friend once every six months having some fun "me" time? Thats hardly a big deal.
Maybe they need to communicate better so their expectations align with what is really going on. Could be text is a bad format for them to use, and they should speak on the phone to each other to ask the pertinent questions and be sure they know what each other is up to.
Talking of leaving her, and suspicion of infidelity because she desires a girls night twice a year really seems like gross overreactions.
I can only react to the facts known. That said, it sounds like she did let him know she would be later than usual and he is overreacting to the fact that his expectation of what "later" meant was different than hers.
She "pulls" this once every six months? "Pulls?" Pulls what? Pulls wanting to have a night to spend with a friend once every six months having some fun "me" time? Thats hardly a big deal.
Maybe they need to communicate better so their expectations align with what is really going on. Could be text is a bad format for them to use, and they should speak on the phone to each other to ask the pertinent questions and be sure they know what each other is up to.
Talking of leaving her, and suspicion of infidelity because she desires a girls night twice a year really seems like gross overreactions.
I don't think the issue is with her having a girls night out once in a blue moon, but rather her lying about having to stay late at work while planning and doing something different.
I don't think the issue is with her having a girls night out once in a blue moon, but rather her lying about having to stay late at work while planning and doing something different.
Nowhere does it say she lied though. He infers it a little, but doesn't come right out and say she did not work. She told him she was working late. Way later we know she was shopping and getting a drink. Unless the OP can clarify, I took this to mean she stayed late for work, and then went shopping and for a drink (maybe because she knew she would be late anyway, and her friend was stuck late to work too, so they decided to hang out).
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