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Meanwhile, given there ARE more women than men, and given a larger overall age range for men (at least two or three times as large, I'd say), why is it "laughable" that there's a larger pool of women v. men? Please enlighten me. Many many many many men are hooked up. As many as there are women... Is it those men who are laughable?
Maybe it's all the whining and refusal to take responsibility that's laughable.
It is. And it's you. Happily content to cite cultural judgment and demographic statistics (which, you'll note, are statistically irrelevant unless you're in the bottom 2-ish percent of women) as a reason for a (theoretical) inability to find a date.
I'd say she's correct once men get over 40. By the time we are in our 50's we men have huge odds in our favor.
Unless you're still a loser.
Right, and as I mentioned, the physical actual ratio (total women to total men) gets wider and wider per older and older age group.
I really wasn't thinking 20-somethings were whining here about not getting dates and it's because of online dating????
I mean really???
LEARN HOW TO TALK TO GIRLS rather than sitting around typing and staring at a phone or computer and well...
Oh, never mind. Sigh.
Quote:
It is. And it's you. Happily content to cite cultural judgment and demographic statistics (which, you'll note, are statistically irrelevant unless you're in the bottom 2-ish percent of women) as a reason for a (theoretical) inability to find a date.
Statistically irrelevant.
Not at all since...AGAIN...MOST people DO wind up hooked up and MOST people are NOT exceptional but rather, are average (hence the term "average").
I wonder whether those hooked-up men sat around sighing about statistics and their irrelevance and how many washed up, did their hair nicely and went out and SPOKE TO real actual women?
I'd say she's correct once men get over 40. By the time we are in our 50's we men have huge odds in our favor.
Unless you're still a loser.
Things get BETTER for men at 40/50, but I'd hardly call it "huge odds". Simply "markedly improved over their 20's".
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
And yet...so many men ARE with women.
SO MANY men.
And yet...it's online AND offline dating that are both the problem...not the men who aren't managing to get the women?
We're not talking fashion models nor rich people from either side, there's nothing in particular that the guy next to you "got" a girl and you didn't (not you the person I'm quoting, the general "you") unless we're talking Channing Tatum or something, so...?
But no. It's dating that's the problem. It's the women who are the problem. It's the computer that's the problem. It's society that's the problem. It's bars that are the problem. It's pickiness that's the problem. It's the barometric pressure that's the problem...................
"it's our country's demographics that's the problem"
"it's cultural acceptance of dating ranges that's the problem"
Subtopic: (since I think the previous one has been beaten to death)
For me, this isn't always the case. For some things that are hard and fast (say, beliefs on children, or certain political or religious stances), sure. But for other, more "fluid" preferences (say, intelligence?)...I can get a better feel for someone in person than online. Someone that self-describes as witty? I can get a WAY better feel for that in person than online. My "screening filter" works way better in person for most topics other than easily quantified ones (like, height, or preference for children, for example)
And even for the hard and fast stances, I could limit my physical searches to locations that are more likely to be populated by those who might share my opinions/beliefs. If I were very fierce about a particular political party, I could frequent their rallies, for example.
None of this is to imply that I don't agree with you, I'm just playing a little bit of devil's advocate, as well as throwing my own experiences out there.
Oh, I don't disagree with you. I think once basic criteria is assessed/screened, offline can be better at determining chemistry and other finer nuances and subtleties that are difficult to pick up on online. No doubt I came across higher matches that met a lot of criteria that, well, weren't compatible in other respects. (certain levels of woo that were harder to detect until later on, lack of intellectual connection and differences in sense of humor). I am far more sarcastic and snarky than my husband, and witty/playful banter is my thing, which he totally gets and enjoys it. It was important that my partner understand this. Fortunately, it came across loud and clear in my profile, so any potential match could see what they're getting if it progressed to anything.
I've generally always lived in cities that have a higher proportion of men who lean toward my type, and then I had to further filter and screen for my people, as timber said recently. If I were in a non-metro city... *faint*.
"it's our country's demographics that's the problem"
"it's cultural acceptance of dating ranges that's the problem"
sound familiar?
Nope.
Because I never said it was a problem (just that it's a general cultural view, which it is, unless, again, you're saying this is no longer the case? Please support that assertion?). Indeed, I cited that most women (a majority) are married or dating in any given age range. So I don't see the problem at all, actually?
Because I never said it was a problem (just that it's a general cultural view, which it is, unless, again, you're saying this is no longer the case? Please support that assertion?). Indeed, I cited that most women (a majority) are married or dating in any given age range. So I don't see the problem at all, actually?
Therefore...No, not really an analogy.
My mistake, it must have been these posts of yours that simply SOUND like you have a problem. Somehow, I construed your bitter tone as being upset. Maybe you're just bitter?
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
Meanwhile, men (supposedly) can date their age, older, OR younger, even much younger, whereas many times, women have the restriction, either self-imposed or imposed societally or both, of dating at least their age - and often the desire on the part of the man that the man be significantly older (i.e. the woman is significantly younger) - well, except for pumping and dumping, at least if one believes what so many on here say. I mean...n'est-ce pas? Which means at least a good 30 year spread for men and what. A 5-year age difference spread for women unless we want to get on our knees for Grampa?
With me so far?
Okay, so, continuing on...Yes, you have "overly picky" women online (just as you have a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge pool of fat old bald men who want a 20-year-old hottie)...those women aren't winding up with what they want, they are changing their minds at some point...period....and at any given time that that happens, you're standing around, too. Where those women are. Whether online or off.
Put this ALL together and if you get off the fugging computer once in a while, for God's sake, you have a HUGE pool of women available for men and a SMALL pool of men for women (quality or not, I won't even go there...there are just as many fat toothless men out there as fat toothless women...actually, slightly MORE fat men than women, but again, doesn't warrant repeating for the billionth time).
Yet we are still hearing on here how dating is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hard for men and sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo unfair for men. WTF??? Are you kidding? If the tables were tipped any more in your favor they'd be falling right over.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
I mean really???
LEARN HOW TO TALK TO GIRLS rather than sitting around typing and staring at a phone or computer and well...
Oh, never mind. Sigh.
Not at all since...AGAIN...MOST people DO wind up hooked up and MOST people are NOT exceptional but rather, are average (hence the term "average").
I wonder whether those hooked-up men sat around sighing about statistics and their irrelevance and how many washed up, did their hair nicely and went out and SPOKE TO real actual women?
My mistake, it must have been these posts of yours that simply SOUND like you have a problem. Somehow, I construed your bitter tone as being upset. Maybe you're just bitter?
No and no, LOL.
Argue, speak about the next person's words being irrelevant, nit-pick, semantic, and now, pull out the age-old and overused attempted smack-downs...anything...
...aaaaaaaaaaaanything....
...other than think, "I wonder if any of this could be because of me...I just wonder whether I should be the one to make some changes?"
Oh HA HA HA nope, never mind, I lost my head there for a second! Carry on, you pulled out "bitter," how about "old" next? That one's usually good. Who's got their Bingo cards handy? (I think you're winning, Hivemind...)
Argue, speak about the next person's words being irrelevant, nit-pick, semantic, and now, pull out the age-old and overused attempted smack-downs...anything...
...aaaaaaaaaaaanything....
...other than think, "I wonder if any of this could be because of me...I just wonder whether I should be the one to make some changes?"
Oh HA HA HA nope, never mind, I lost my head there for a second! Carry on, you pulled out "bitter," how about "old" next? Who's got their Bingo cards handy? (I think you're winning, Hivemind...)
Well, your posts speak for themselves. Act in such a way that spells out a bingo card, and don't be surprised when someone points it out. As for whether or not any of it could be you? It definitely is.
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Is it those men who are laughable?
(I think you're winning, Hivemind...)
