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This is big part of the reason that I love living in a rural area. No Karen’s or Darins bothering us. No traffic noise, helicopters flying overhead, sirens. Once the sun goes down you can see a zillion stars in the sky that look like you could reach out and touch them. Our nearest neighbor is about 1/4 mile and around a bend from us. The good news is… we’re only about 45km ( 27 miles) from a city of size that has all of the amenities…we can shop, dine, see a movie visit with friends…etc.
The one thing I just cannot get over is how suddenly it is "suspicious" if anyone you don't know is seen in your neighborhood...not like in a tiny town of 25 people where everyone knows everyone, but in a suburb of a big city. Someone drives by in a car that they have "never seen before" or a few teenagers walking by on the sidewalk or heaven forbid a stranger knocking on the door, is cause for freaking out now?
I just wanna be like, you know, you're not actually that important that everyone in the world wants to case your house, maybe get over yourself? lol?
And I remember a time in the early 2000s when I lived outside of Des Moines, and a teenage girl came to my house, she had a shaved head and was just slightly "tough" looking but very, very polite. I let her in and talked to her! She was actually a former juvie kid who was bussed down as part of a voc/rehab kind of program to sell big bottles of concentrated green soap door to door. I gave her food and a soda and she insisted on scrubbing my bathtub to prove the worth of the soap and I bought a big arse bottle of the stuff from her for $40. I don't even care if it was a scammy ripoff, they had these Detroit kids bussed to Iowa to spend 12 hours at a time wandering around the suburbs getting doors slammed in their faces. I had nothing but kindness for her.
Now, everybody would tell me I was an idiot and she would surely be back to rob me. But guess what...she was not. I didn't have much to take anyways.
I mean, I've managed to keep myself safe, despite not having guns or surveillance cams or being a kung fu tough person, my whole life, through some pretty dodgy situations. I know that there are "bad guys" out there but... The paranoia and assumption of the worst, is just too freaking much.
Though one day when I buy a house, I'll probably put cameras up outside, I'm hoping very much that the point won't be to watch my neighbors or wig out about solicitors or joggers, but rather to catch some interesting wildlife in my yard.
I hear what you are saying Sonic, not all strangers are here to rip you off. Some people ar just trying to get by and can use a little compassion. At the same time though I ordered a package and I was sent a photo by the delivery driver showing that the package was left on my front porch, but when I got home later the package is nowhere to be found. I am still hoping one of my neighbors is holding on to it, but there is also a chance someone grabbed it too. Its just some bike parts and they weren't that expensive, less than $25.
The one thing I just cannot get over is how suddenly it is "suspicious" if anyone you don't know is seen in your neighborhood...not like in a tiny town of 25 people where everyone knows everyone, but in a suburb of a big city. Someone drives by in a car that they have "never seen before" or a few teenagers walking by on the sidewalk or heaven forbid a stranger knocking on the door, is cause for freaking out now?
I just wanna be like, you know, you're not actually that important that everyone in the world wants to case your house, maybe get over yourself? lol?
That comes up on my neighborhood FB page fairly often. Sometime there are people out up to no good, and they get footage of weirdos checking car doors to see if they're unlocked late at nigh, etc. But other times it seems like people are just out to shame local teens for the crime of walking down the sidewalk in front of their house.
I hear what you are saying Sonic, not all strangers are here to rip you off. Some people ar just trying to get by and can use a little compassion. At the same time though I ordered a package and I was sent a photo by the delivery driver showing that the package was left on my front porch, but when I got home later the package is nowhere to be found. I am still hoping one of my neighbors is holding on to it, but there is also a chance someone grabbed it too. Its just some bike parts and they weren't that expensive, less than $25.
Well yeah, porch pirates are a pain in the butt and I do think it's good to catch them on camera and all.
I just...I don't know. I think another one that got me was back in Colorado, someone posted that a young woman (older teen or young adult) was knocking on doors very late at night crying and asking for help.
The poster said that they were scared and did not come to the door and called the police. Other comments said that the girl was lucky, "come to my house like that and get shot" and such. I have, as you know, a son with mental health problems and like...he's made some sketchy friends, and I could see him being out late and getting in some kind of trouble and being scared and desperate, and it's like, no one would help him, he'd be "lucky" not to get shot at.
They would call the cops and tell the cops that a suspicious person who is surely trying to rob the neighborhood is banging on doors, so you get cops creepin' around guns drawn... Like this is how innocent people die.
I am not saying that people don't need to be careful or that there are no criminals, I know we have to look out for ourselves. But I would be looking for a way to help, too. Like the one time that kid waved me down in the street who said he was having a breakdown and needed to go to a hospital, and I sat there and called 911 for him, and calmly asked them to send an ambulance and NOT police. Which they did. Could that young man have pulled a gun on me? Yeah. But he didn't. He needed help and he got help. Though I can't speak to what it cost for that ambulance ride, though.
I would almost rather be dead, than be so dead inside that I no longer have any kindness or compassion left.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,763,058 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork
The one thing I just cannot get over is how suddenly it is "suspicious" if anyone you don't know is seen in your neighborhood...not like in a tiny town of 25 people where everyone knows everyone, but in a suburb of a big city. Someone drives by in a car that they have "never seen before" or a few teenagers walking by on the sidewalk or heaven forbid a stranger knocking on the door, is cause for freaking out now?
I just wanna be like, you know, you're not actually that important that everyone in the world wants to case your house, maybe get over yourself? lol?
And I remember a time in the early 2000s when I lived outside of Des Moines, and a teenage girl came to my house, she had a shaved head and was just slightly "tough" looking but very, very polite. I let her in and talked to her! She was actually a former juvie kid who was bussed down as part of a voc/rehab kind of program to sell big bottles of concentrated green soap door to door. I gave her food and a soda and she insisted on scrubbing my bathtub to prove the worth of the soap and I bought a big arse bottle of the stuff from her for $40. I don't even care if it was a scammy ripoff, they had these Detroit kids bussed to Iowa to spend 12 hours at a time wandering around the suburbs getting doors slammed in their faces. I had nothing but kindness for her.
Now, everybody would tell me I was an idiot and she would surely be back to rob me. But guess what...she was not. I didn't have much to take anyways.
I mean, I've managed to keep myself safe, despite not having guns or surveillance cams or being a kung fu tough person, my whole life, through some pretty dodgy situations. I know that there are "bad guys" out there but... The paranoia and assumption of the worst, is just too freaking much.
Though one day when I buy a house, I'll probably put cameras up outside, I'm hoping very much that the point won't be to watch my neighbors or wig out about solicitors or joggers, but rather to catch some interesting wildlife in my yard.
While I think the random car and people on the sidewalk should not be anyone else’s business, the stranger knocking on the door is a different matter for me. My mother will flat out not answer the door for a stranger she isn’t expecting. In 2021, she is a single woman living alone who doesn’t believe in guns and she cannot even take the risk of someone nefarious at the door.
I don't answer the door for strangers, either, but I have seen a lot of true crime shows where someone is kidnapped or assaulted when they escape, they bang on the first door they come to for help. In our current climate, they're just as likely to be ignored or additionally hurt than actually helped.
I would speak to them through the door. I would probably ask, "Is there someone that I can call for you?"
One thing I would not do, is hand my cell phone to a stranger, though. And I have a particular reason why. A scammer came to my kids' apartment and said he was soliciting donations to a charity related to the college that my son's girlfriend goes to. He persuaded them to make small donations and said it had to be done through Facebook's payment system. He said, "let me see your phone and I'll search for the right page to send it to, for you..."
And then he took their phones and sent HIMSELF $200 from each of them, and left before they even knew what had happened. Fortunately they did contact police and while I don't think the guy was ever caught, they had a police report to use to dispute the situation with the bank.
Oh and Diss, I'm a petite woman and my husband is if anything less capable of defending this place than I am, at least I'm in better health and not having some of the issues he has been, but I'm like 5'3" and 120 lbs "soaking wet" as my ex used to say, and I am also against guns...though I do have three swords hanging not far from the door lol, I doubt I could do much with 'em.
I do rely on my brain to keep myself safe, but that has been a matter of instinct, intuition, and judging each case on its own, rather than just assuming that everyone is a danger. I guess I remember before cell phones, when people just stopped by to see a friend, knocked on a door, when kids sold cookies and the worst you'd have to deal with is the Jehovah's Witnesses or a salesman. And I've survived far more real danger in plenty of contexts, so I guess I just don't see a stranger at the door as a dire thing. Though I'd be somewhat alarmed if it was like 2AM, I'm sure!
I lived for all those years with the guy who felt like danger was everywhere, and one had to be ready to face threats all the time, but the only real threat there ever was, was him.
We lived on the edge of what was, at the time, supposedly the most dangerous neighborhood in the country. I walked through it often, unarmed, unprotected. I have a stride of confidence that says, "I have every right to be where I'm at" and I was friendly to anyone I encountered, and I never had an issue other than being asked for change and smokes a lot. I have seen a band that has a seriously wild moshpit 38 times, mostly by myself. I've spent time in the rougher parts of Richmond, VA and certain parts of DC at all hours.
Not once ever, did I wish I were more well equipped for a fight. And though you did not mention it or anything, particularly I have not once in my life wished that someone were there with a gun. Not even that I had one.
Have I just been lucky? Oh, sure, maybe yeah. Not saying that nothing bad has ever happened to me or anything, or that nothing possibly could. And maybe it's Pollyannaish of me, but I have a NEED to have some faith in humanity. I just do.
Though I think if I were, say, living in a remote place...I'd probably get a shotgun. Maybe for humans, but just as much in case of certain wildlife encounters.
And I've seriously thought about getting into martial arts of some sort, but I mostly just think I need a regular exercise regimen. Might as well be Tai Chi or Yoga for what I want out of it, really.
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