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I think the realization and understanding that everyone has different tastes is very important. They're not going to be everyone's cup of tea. It takes a VERY long time to find someone who is truly compatible with you, as a person. I also think when they look at these other guys (jerks in particular) with gfs, they automatically assume the relationship must be great. They put it on a pedestal which is very unrealistic.
And sometimes I think the guys who are constantly having trouble are getting caught up in the kind of women they think they should be with--the kind you see on tv, the kind who would impress their friends, the kind that meet all of the criteria on the list in their head--and not the women who would actually be cool to hang out with, who are really into them, etc. As much as they complain that women are looking for status, they're looking for status, too.
I think the realization and understanding that everyone has different tastes is very important. They're not going to be everyone's cup of tea. It takes a VERY long time to find someone who is truly compatible with you, as a person. I also think when they look at these other guys (jerks in particular) with gfs, they automatically assume the relationship must be great. They put it on a pedestal which is very unrealistic.
Good point. Just being in a relationship isn't, or shouldn't be, the end goal. It's only good with the right person, and looks don't necessarily indicate personality and Compatibility. I can kiss a lot of frogs, and possibly decide I didn't need a frog after all.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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I finished with my last all day Saturday class ever. Now, just a 4 hour Wed night class over the summer and my Masters is finished. I just felt so tired which as anyone who reads my posts causes me to be even more cranky if you can believe it. I haven’t had a free weekend in a few months. Gonna feel so good to sleep in this weekend.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Also, decided to try to adopt a straight edge lifestyle. No more alcohol, weed, or cigarettes. I felt it is fruitless to waste time and money on things that only bring me temporary relief only to be empty again. I don’t know if I’ll stick with it but it is time to stop seeking temporary relief and improve my circumstances to have true relief.
Good point. Just being in a relationship isn't, or shouldn't be, the end goal. It's only good with the right person, and looks don't necessarily indicate personality and Compatibility. I can kiss a lot of frogs, and possibly decide I didn't need a frog after all.
Not aimed at you but prompted in part by your post, but there in seems to be the rub. I assume you saw something in those frogs which led to you kissing them. And they felt they wanted to kiss you. If a certain amount of frog kissing helps us learn who we are and who we'd be good with, then let the frog kissing commence, right? Frogs being OK people who just aren't right for us but who we benefit in a variety of ways from relating to. Yet some people can't get started, can't seem to begin the process most of us take for granted, myself included, although in my case my good fortune in occasionally attracting women I like seems like a rumor more than a fact, but here I am. But that opportunity to kiss a few frogs isn't there for some people, sometimes for reasons they could change with perhaps moderate effort, and sometimes for pretty intractable reasons. Jesus, that must really suck.
And that's a melancholy offering, but I think loneliness is a pretty dismal office.
Get the lotion aloe. It will stop the itchy and give a good tan.
Thank for the suggestion.
Quote:
Originally Posted by homina12
And that's a melancholy offering, but I think loneliness is a pretty dismal office.
Not to detract from your point, but I once read that in order to love someone else, truly love them, we must learn to love ourselves and be comfortable in our own skin. If there is truth in that idea, then loneliness might be the place where we learn to allow sunshine where there was none, and create the environment necessary to make frogs curious enough to seek a kiss.
Interestingly enough, there is a swamp in America, called the Great Dismal Swamp, and it is quite beautiful indeed (plus loaded with frogs). It must be then that, loneliness doesn't have to be dismal, and can be quite lovely...an office can bloom into a swamp. The right attitudes can make it thrive.
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter
Also, decided to try to adopt a straight edge lifestyle. No more alcohol, weed, or cigarettes. I felt it is fruitless to waste time and money on things that only bring me temporary relief only to be empty again. I don’t know if I’ll stick with it but it is time to stop seeking temporary relief and improve my circumstances to have true relief.
Excellent plan. Cigarettes was tough for me to drop. I just keep reminding myself what I went through to get to the point I'm at when I think about having another one - because it won't be just one. The urge will breed as rapidly as cats, and I will be back where I started in no time. One thing I found helpful in the beginning was to breath as if I was smoking. I found it helps relieve stress much like the cigarette used too.
Best of luck for your plan's success.
Last edited by ComeCloser; 05-09-2018 at 03:10 AM..
I should have phrased that differently so it wasn't a conversation killer.
So at Starbucks there's these 3-4 really hot young women who work, and while I really want to appreciate them for the caliber of service and their especially nice tendency to remember me and my preferred drinks, I'm often distracted by the incredible body on one, the large mammalian protuberances on another, and the eye-catching derriere on another.
But coffee, because coffee is the non-sexist and non-misogynist point, and rather than getting swept up in the fact that I'm over-the-hill, no longer attractive (most especially to younger women) on a physical level, and lost in unrealistic daydreams regarding being forcibly pinned down and worshipped by myriad coffee concubines, I've elected to place my attention on the beverage.
Mostly because I'm old and trying to direct my lasting focus away from physical female companionship.
But doggone it, that Vanilla Crème drink sure is a tasty one, hard to forget.
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