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It sounds so simple, right? And let me add that it's introducing himself ("I'm xxx") that sends a signal that he's interested. If he doesn't introduce himself, a lot of women won't know it's an Approach. They'll just think he's being friendly or asking the time, or whatever. But it seems that a lot of guys are afraid to send a clear signal. Instead, they look for cues that it's "safe" to do so; they look for signs of interest from the woman. But if she thinks he's just passing the time being friendly, she likely won't respond in a way that indicates interest.
I think one issue is that men hear about how women often complain about every guy assuming they like them, when they're just being friendly.
So, I don't blame the guys that look for cues that it's safe to do so.
And if few (if any) men choose to hit on a woman, than she doesn't have any power at all. In a situation where the guy is choosing to approach, the power is in his choice, not hers.
Just what is this "power" that people keep bringing up anyway. I'm not thinking about "power" in my social interactions. I never thought about "power" for dating either.
(I know you are not the first post in the thread that talks about power, but it is just the most recent post I quoted. I'm more or less agreeing with you )
\the guy is just failing at social interaction and he is deservedly treated like a loser for it.
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Anyway even in a hypothetical world where every woman was showered by male attention and never initiated anything and every man was forced to either cold approach or die alone I would still choose to be a man. Why? Because having choice is worth a lot.
There are infinite women, men can just keep hitting the type they like until they get the result they want. Waiting for people to come and approach you and hoping one of them is mr.right is a premium time waster. When you don't get to choose you simply don't hold any power.
This is weird.
First, there aren't infinite women. In the US there are something like 150 million women. Something like, I dunno, 50% of those might be age appropriate. Something like 25% of those an individual guy might find attractive. So, that's about 19 million before considering location (other than the US). Most guys aren't jetting around the world to find women to talk to.
Second, maybe I missed something somewhere in this thread that led to this but, women absolutely have choice. The choice to approach, being one.
Third, the whole thing about "power" is so far off of my radar. Everyone has the power to control their own actions. Beyond that
First, there aren't infinite women. In the US there are something like 150 million women. Something like, I dunno, 50% of those might be age appropriate. Something like 25% of those an individual guy might find attractive. So, that's about 19 million before considering location (other than the US). Most guys aren't jetting around the world to find women to talk to.
Second, maybe I missed something somewhere in this thread that led to this but, women absolutely have choice. The choice to approach, being one.
Third, the whole thing about "power" is so far off of my radar. Everyone has the power to control their own actions. Beyond that
Just what is this "power" that people keep bringing up anyway. I'm not thinking about "power" in my social interactions. I never thought about "power" for dating either.
(I know you are not the first post in the thread that talks about power, but it is just the most recent post I quoted. I'm more or less agreeing with you )
Yeah, "power" wouldn't be my choice of word, but that's the one that was used.
Maybe it's a chicken and egg thing: If Person A walks up to Person B to ask him or her out, then Person B has the opportunity to accept or reject (which is what some people are calling "power".) But on the other hand, by approaching Person B (and not Person C or Person D,) Person A has already exercised their choice.
Just what is this "power" that people keep bringing up anyway. I'm not thinking about "power" in my social interactions. I never thought about "power" for dating either.
(I know you are not the first post in the thread that talks about power, but it is just the most recent post I quoted. I'm more or less agreeing with you )
Good.
Please keep it that way. I think it just makes things complicated.
Just what is this "power" that people keep bringing up anyway. I'm not thinking about "power" in my social interactions. I never thought about "power" for dating either.
(I know you are not the first post in the thread that talks about power, but it is just the most recent post I quoted. I'm more or less agreeing with you )
The whiner guys always say that women have all the "power" in determining who gets a date. They neglect to realize that the women no one approaches have zilch. It's the men who do the choosing who exercise a measure of "power". It's a 2-way street.
Yeah, "power" wouldn't be my choice of word, but that's the one that was used.
Maybe it's a chicken and egg thing: If Person A walks up to Person B to ask him or her out, then Person B has the opportunity to accept or reject (which is what some people are calling "power".) But on the other hand, by approaching Person B (and not Person C or Person D,) Person A has already exercised their choice.
And this is really the bottom line. Both people have a choice, every time, every interaction.
Unless one of the two has been drugged and dragged into a van, everybody has a choice in every version of the "approach" scenario.
Yeah, "power" wouldn't be my choice of word, but that's the one that was used.
Maybe it's a chicken and egg thing: If Person A walks up to Person B to ask him or her out, then Person B has the opportunity to accept or reject (which is what some people are calling "power".) But on the other hand, by approaching Person B (and not Person C or Person D,) Person A has already exercised their choice.
No. Again, this is so weird.
It reminds me of a problem I have with job interviews.
A job interview isn't just an employer selecting an employee, the employee should also be deciding if they want to work for that employer.
Approaching someone is the first step that the approacher makes in determining if she/he is interested in the approachee.
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Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
They neglect to realize that the women no one approaches have zilch.
And this is really the bottom line. Both people have a choice, every time, every interaction.
...everybody has a choice in every version of the "approach" scenario.
Bingo
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