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Oh well ..... I still stand by my preference for facial hair on a man. Although, I do see a lot of big beards on younger guys. But, the man bun cancels that out.
I'm always reminding my husband how our parents made fun of the long haired boys back in the 70's saying that they looked like girls. Of course, they did look like girls, but gender bending is probably going to be a good thing in the long run.
I was referring to the way the younger men are shorn of all hair anywhere besides head, maybe face, and a small patch (perhaps) down there (or maybe none down there). Arms, legs, chest, back? Nope.
Personally, I had and have no desire to look like my 9 year old self.
What can I say, I'm a complete ape. It's how the Good Lord made me.
Perhaps the 'creepy older man' thing is something the younger generations have embraced? My 24 year old daughter is 'creeped out' by older men. She didn't get that from me. I have always liked older men. She has a very good relationship with her step father (my husband) and does not find him creepy. But, I also notice that the men she finds sexually appealing are more like girls. In fact, it seems that western society is becoming more effeminate all the way around with everyone becoming more 'girly'.
So ... perhaps older men are too masculine and, therefore, sexually scary?
Also, I must admit to making the occasional anti-old man comment when dealing with men who have denigrated older women.
That must be a Millennials or west coast thing or something where the men wear girly pants. Then grow a beard to try and prove they're still a man or something. Where I come from people are open minded to gays, but to the women effeminate men are generally not considered sexy...and older man younger woman is not considered creepy but normal.
Last edited by wanderlust76; 02-01-2017 at 06:03 PM..
It's obvious that we're seeing this from two radically different perspectives.
As someone who is involved with an older guy, I've been witness to the "scoffing" (as you so aptly put it). And, as I think about it, I wouldn't really give it much thought if it weren't for the fact that so many of these "scoffers" wouldn't think about being so vocal about their judgments about other types of relationships. So, yes, when I see what I view as justification and rationalization for this behavior, it ticks me off. I don't suffer hypocrites well.
Acknowledging that something happens is not the same as rationalizing it or justifying it. I believe that what you are doing is called "shooting the messenger." The Holocaust happened. Slavery happened. Saying these things happened does not mean I am justifying them or rationalizing them. Understanding WHY they happened (the culture of the day, the political and economic climate of the times, the ignorance of the times) is not the same as justifying them or rationalizing them, either, nor is it saying they were okay. However it is important to know such things so history does not repeat itself. This is much the same. If you hope to make change, you cannot do so without knowing why things are the way they are first. Pulling weeds does nothing if you do not get at the roots.
You've "been witness to" scoffing. What does this mean? You have seen people do it? Yes, so have I. This is why I can say people do it without doing it myself. I also know the reasons people give for doing it because I do not live in a vacuum. I was warned when I went away to university to be careful of older men who would try to come on to me, make promises and talk smooth to try to lure me into bed. I was also warned about men of all ages who might try to get me to drink too much or do drugs to take advantage of me. I was warned about these things because IT HAPPENS and my parents felt the need to give me awareness of it. They said "Do not be afraid but be careful."
If you mean you have been on the receiving end of it, then whether or not somebody does it to others should not matter. If they disparage you and your loved one, I hope you do not continue associating with them. I would not, for sure. However I also accept that whether or not people are rude enough to be vocal to me, there will always be people who "think it." To this I say so what because I cannot control it and as long as they do not discriminate against me in a legal manner it has no effect on my life. I am sure most people I run into do not give too much notice to me, but I am also sure that chances are good somebody somewhere judged me today based on my looks, my age, my sex, or my way of speaking. So what? I know who I am. That is what matters.
I was referring to the way the younger men are shorn of all hair anywhere besides head, maybe face, and a small patch (perhaps) down there (or maybe none down there). Arms, legs, chest, back? Nope.
Personally, I had and have no desire to look like my 9 year old self.
What can I say, I'm a complete ape. It's how the Good Lord made me.
I have to say I loathe ear and nose hair. I'm weird that way.
That must be a Millennials or west coast thing or something where the men wear girly pants. Then grow a beard to try and prove they're still a man or something. Where I come from people are open minded to gays, but to the women effeminate men are generally not considered sexy...and older man younger woman is not considered creepy but normal.
Well .... where I come from all the older women are considered gorgeous and I don't really know or care what anyone's thinking about the rest of the population. Oh ... and old women with young men are a dime a dozen as long as the young men don't wear man-buns or thongs ... that's considered creepy here where I'm from.
When i was a guy in my twenties and dated women in their 40's i did not hear a negative word from any of their women friends, it was completely fine and acceptable. BUT, now that i am mid fifties and when i have dated mid twenties women, boy is THAT a different story! Yes, i have heard it all...dirty old man, i should be ashamed of myself, i am looking for a nurse with a purse, do i put her on the school bus in the morning, she musthave daddy issues, and my favorite....she is obviously in it for the money BUT, you let an old cougar show up with a 20's stud muffin a listen to what the women say! That is totally fine and acceptable. I don't get it.
where I come from...
all the women are strong, the men are good looking and the children are above average.
Where I come from the sun shines all the time (usually out of my behind), the grass is much thicker and greener than elsewhere, AND nobodies **** stinks.
Like I said above, I think that since I may dismiss some of the comments as asinine, I probably underestimate their impact or even frequency. Especially given the text of this thread, I should have made a more clear statement that the negatives are there and can be just as rude and unhelpful as it is when an older man is so treated.
As far as the reverse getting high fives, I really don't see that but rarely. There are a few men who go on and on about women having expiration dates, but those guys are few and far between and some of them may be the same person posting under a new name after being banned or embarrassed or both.
If a 40 year old man married a 20 year old woman and posted about it here, I think there's be a response, but I don't think it would be high fives. And I don't think it should be. Were you really surprised that a 40 year old marrying a 20 year old raised eyebrows? Do I have that right? A 20 year age gap is a lot when you're talking 35-55, but in that case the 35 year old is fully formed emotionally and neurologically. It's an eternity to a 20 year old, who isn't done developing. I would feel the same if the man was 40, and for the same reasons.
It is ultimately none of my business, but when people post something for discussion, then discussion happens.
No, I totally agree. I was simply pointing out the very real double standard in reaction, not the legitimacy of the reaction.
When i was a guy in my twenties and dated women in their 40's i did not hear a negative word from any of their women friends, it was completely fine and acceptable. BUT, now that i am mid fifties and when i have dated mid twenties women, boy is THAT a different story! Yes, i have heard it all...dirty old man, i should be ashamed of myself, i am looking for a nurse with a purse, do i put her on the school bus in the morning, she musthave daddy issues, and my favorite....she is obviously in it for the money BUT, you let an old cougar show up with a 20's stud muffin a listen to what the women say! That is totally fine and acceptable. I don't get it.
Yeah and with cougars it's usually just a FB/FWB situation but with older man and younger woman it's quite often a normal relationship. Older man younger woman relationships are normal everywhere in the world. I agree it's astounding how it always seems like men aren't allowed to have any preferences or anything. Always attacked w/ the double standard and hypocrisy. It's the same w/ interracial relationships. Don't even get me started on that. Although cmon man anything over a 15 year difference is a little odd..just sayin'.
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