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I get what you're saying. I have been following the other thread(s) because I just met someone who is significantly older and this is all new territory to me, so I want to learn. However, men's sexuality isn't spoken of too highly because it is 2017 and all over the world women and girls are still being raped, molested, abused, bought and sold, kidnapped, etc. Women still have to "prove" they were raped. Women are being sent disgusting, abusive messages or even pornographic pictures (d!ck pics) just for saying "hi." And sometimes for NOT saying "hi." Women are still treated as objects by a great number of men. And there is a certain aspect of society that says that this particular aspect of men's sexuality is "natural" or "just the way men are" or even "the way it is supposed to be." And then, of course, there are men who have no clue or interest in their female partner's satisfaction or comfort. So yes, there is a reason why men's sexuality isn't spoken of too highly in some cases. Every woman on this board has experienced some aspect of it. "Creepy old man" is just an outgrowth of this.
And that is because there is a perceived power play involved. Men are still the dominant force in this society. There are plenty of older men who will use the power differential in a relationship with a younger woman. For an older man "getting" a younger woman is seen as an achievement, and in many of those relationships I've seen the younger woman treated terribly, abused, neglected and they stayed because they were naive, fearful, under his sway, broke, or had daddy issues. There is also the issue of an older man buying a nice, young, new wife from another country. We've all seen it. When an older man is with a much younger women, people wonder.
I really have no idea what you are trying to get at in the bolded statement above. How exactly are women "constantly on display"? How so any more than men?
Regardless, yes, I do believe that men's sexuality is viewed unfavorably (not sure if corrupt is the word I would use), because of the way men still treat women, how they still treat sexual encounters. It is the narrative of our society. Everyone has a story.
Homina posed an interesting topic and this is a very thoughtful response. Refreshing departure from the usual dreck we see here.
There is nothing wrong with men's sexuality (they have testosterone), there is nothing wrong with older men being sexual (I heartily approve), and I really don't care if a guy dates younger (I dated a younger man).
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I think older women involving themselves with much younger men face far more scorn than older men involving themselves with much younger women.
Agreed. If one goes by the threads here, there's always someone indicating: 'Go out with a woman 10 years OLDER, why would anyone want to?" And I believe the comment was from a female. We don't all support each other and go to parades, that was just an event. I could also find a comment on the same thread, that says "yay for older women, bring it!" only to have it followed by: "someone's looking for a sugar mama." As if she has no other redeeming qualities.
I don't let it bother me though, OP, I live a pretty solitary life except for a few social events here and there, so other people's opinions have no effect on my decisions anymore.
I get what you're saying. I have been following the other thread(s) because I just met someone who is significantly older and this is all new territory to me, so I want to learn. However, men's sexuality isn't spoken of too highly because it is 2017 and all over the world women and girls are still being raped, molested, abused, bought and sold, kidnapped, etc. Women still have to "prove" they were raped. Women are being sent disgusting, abusive messages or even pornographic pictures (d!ck pics) just for saying "hi." And sometimes for NOT saying "hi." Women are still treated as objects by a great number of men. And there is a certain aspect of society that says that this particular aspect of men's sexuality is "natural" or "just the way men are" or even "the way it is supposed to be." And then, of course, there are men who have no clue or interest in their female partner's satisfaction or comfort. So yes, there is a reason why men's sexuality isn't spoken of too highly in some cases. Every woman on this board has experienced some aspect of it. "Creepy old man" is just an outgrowth of this.
And that is because there is a perceived power play involved. Men are still the dominant force in this society. There are plenty of older men who will use the power differential in a relationship with a younger woman. For an older man "getting" a younger woman is seen as an achievement, and in many of those relationships I've seen the younger woman treated terribly, abused, neglected and they stayed because they were naive, fearful, under his sway, broke, or had daddy issues. There is also the issue of an older man buying a nice, young, new wife from another country. We've all seen it. When an older man is with a much younger women, people wonder.
I really have no idea what you are trying to get at in the bolded statement above. How exactly are women "constantly on display"? How so any more than men?
Regardless, yes, I do believe that men's sexuality is viewed unfavorably (not sure if corrupt is the word I would use), because of the way men still treat women, how they still treat sexual encounters. It is the narrative of our society. Everyone has a story.
Thanks for the thoughtful response, Moonbeam33. The bolded statement about women being "constantly on display" was a reference to how common media images of women in sexualized poses are. In a sense that caters to men's sexual desire, but in a way that doesn't reflect all that well on men or women. At least not in my opinion.
As far as your points about men's tendencies that make many women wary, I don't disagree with the serious nature of the issues you listed. I'm sure that behavior like sending dick pics and obnoxious boundary crossing in face to face situations add to that wariness. But aren't those behaviors the responsibility of the men who engage in them?
I think older women involving themselves with much younger men face far more scorn than older men involving themselves with much younger women.
Do you see that here? I really don't. When women talk about considering a younger man, it can get a little awkward when some younger men here encourage her while drooling on their keyboards. That's probably not encouraging. But most older women are encouraging and add things like "maybe there's hope for me". Hope being the prospect of a younger man, as opposed to.......
I don't deny for a second that age is an issue for women, sexually and otherwise. I'm just saying that it's also an issue for men, and it takes a creepy or comical turn, which is really discouraging. And as I've said, I'm in a relationship (with a woman a couple of years older than me) and I'd be OK if I weren't, so this is an issue for me because I care about how men are thought of. I think we sometimes see the worst in men and highlight it, and that doesn't benefit anyone. And I think the crappy men who do the worst couldn't care less what anyone thinks. I don't think I'm a crappy man (total narcissist comment, right ) and yet sometimes my eyes bleed a little after I visit here.
I often join or start discussions here to clarify my own thoughts. I need to sleep on a couple of those thoughts. First, while I dismiss the crap that a lot of men say about older women, because I don't agree with it, that doesn't mean that women don't hear it. Second, people commenting about older men are often pushing back against some specific hostile comment a man or men have made, or maybe the general idea that men are hostile toward women, which is somewhat supportable.
Does anyone believe that men's sexuality, for all the attention it's paid in terms of women constantly on display, is kind of corrupt somehow? Does anyone else believe that older men'as sexuality is portrayed as beyond corrupt, and sort of gross and perverted? Whether you believe that or not, do you see that narrative here?
Corrupt? My general impressions of C-D responses, on average, is that the idea of older people having sex, in general, ranges from repulsive to unimaginable. Older men tend to get singled out as predatory, if the man is much older than the woman. I think these types of ideas are pervasive in America, but not so much in Denmark.
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) and yet sometimes my eyes bleed a little after I visit here.
