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Not much for aesthetics are you? If it works for you, cool, but huh, looks so techno urban nihilist... screens. No art. No beauty. Well, huh. It's not a decor people are generally going to be comfortable with. Making your place a place that is appealing to or comforting to other's is kind of important in relationships.
But really, I hate the "well famous people" bit. They're not the norm, by definition, they're relationships aren't the norm, and they're habits are far from the norm. Don't use them as any sort of benchmark.
There are not that many high rollers around so its not like the attractive women in FW Texas are going to count on that, even if they wanted to.
For being a homebody who wants a woman to "netflix and chill" at your place, I am not impressed with your home-making skills. Personally, I would find your place really unwelcoming. I wouldn't feel comfortable spending any time there. Its really dark and depressing. Just my opinion.
lol that's definitely a man cave I'm ready to come over with a case of beer and a bottle of Crown for a day of football, video games, and getting annihilated.
OP, I think the upshot from the discussion about your bouncer job and how that gave you a certain perspective on relationships is, that you need to acknowledge that that was a specific niche, a narrow window on the world that gave you a limited picture. The world is much bigger than that. That's why you're experiencing a disconnect, and don't know how to interpret the seemingly conflicting messages from different sources, compared to your own observations.
That's not a home, it's a bunker. Now that you have a job you love, and presumably it's a stable job and your position there is stable, consider saving up to get a condo, using the potential proceeds from selling your bunker as a big downpayment. You probably don't want to lock yourself into more mortgage payments, but they may be very manageable, with a sizeable downpayment. Otherwise, your house is going to scare women away, tbh.
I don't recall what your issues were, from when you last posted here, but I recall there were issues from way back in the past. Your bunker screams "issues!" If there were some very serious challenges in your family when you were growing up, or some tough-neighborhood issues, or whatever, now would be a good time to get some professional help to clear that stuff out of your psyche. Because even though you may think you're doing ok,-- and congratulations on everything so far, btw,--there's still a part of you that's not doing ok. The sooner you address that, the sooner your social life will start falling into place, and the sooner will the light of day shine into, and brighten up, your bunker. You may not see it this way now, but after addressing whatever demons or baggage are lurking in semi-forgotten corners of your mind, you'll look at your current choices with fresh eyes.
Good luck, OP! You deserve happiness! You can get there. You've made it this far. You've got a little bit more to go...
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 10-07-2017 at 11:08 AM..
For being a homebody who wants a woman to "netflix and chill" at your place, I am not impressed with your home-making skills. Personally, I would find your place really unwelcoming. I wouldn't feel comfortable spending any time there. Its really dark and depressing. Just my opinion.
Also, if you're going to be having ladies over, your bathroom situation needs to be tight. Toilet paper, tissues, hand soap, air freshener (ahem) and visible, sparkling cleanliness are a must.
Or even a yard sale make-over, some tables...instead of cinder blocks. I can't imagine what's going through someones head when they need to set something down and... "hey I did see a concrete cinder block in the alley, think I'll drag that into the living room!"
Location: In the cold, dark wasteland of eternity...
926 posts, read 674,206 times
Reputation: 1525
Quote:
Originally Posted by RamenAddict
Right. Bars on the windows, brown, dead grass out front, black curtains. Most women don’t expect extreme HGTV-level effort, but they do want something a little above this-looks-like-a-home-with-criminal-activity-within level. Perhaps some attempt at landscaping, a security system instead of bars, some attempt at interior decor. I don’t think that makes a woman shallow or money grubbing.
The OP shows us the exterior and interior of his home to give us a feel for what the environment is within his every day life that he lives. I mean seriously, this is the guy's HOME, and everyone here is dissing it without fail. I realize that he opened his house up to being criticized when he posted his pics, but no one is mentioning the good things about it:
* His house is CLEAN. There were times I've been to a few guys houses/apts/studios and there was chit laying on the floor, garbage piling up in the bin and lumps of clutter scattered throughout. I'm especially impressed with how tidy and clean his bedroom is and how his bed is made; some guys NEVER make their beds and for me, that would be a HUGE turn off. Every woman is different and I can't speak for them, but for me personally, I'm not that superficial or picky to expect a single guy's house to look like it crawled out of the pages of Homes & Gardens.
Most guys I've ever known keep their house/apt very simple-looking, clean lines, usually lots of electronics/monitors/puter stuff, basic-looking furniture and dark grey/brown/black decor. Having plants can be dicey if they're not properly taken care of, watered, sunned and pruned regularly. Most guys don't have time for that, nor do they care to have to add that to their To Do list. As far as wall art is concerned, everyone has their own definition of style for the interior of their home. Some people hang posters, some hang boring framed art on their walls and some don't put anything on their walls. There's no reason for him to have a 'woman's touch' with regard to his decor since there isn't a woman living there and, he's NOT a woman, he's a GUY...and guys have different styles of decorating than we do.
* His house is PAID FOR. I think it says a lot for the OP that he has a home that is paid for and he's NOT renting, which everyone knows is the same thing as throwing your money into a fireplace. So what if it has bars on the windows and on the front door? Those probably came with the house and is a lot cheaper than him having to go and get a fancy-shmancy alarm system just to impress a woman who'd rather not have to 'see' the bars within her field of vision.
As far as his lawn is concerned, who cares if it isn't layered with St. Augustine sod? He's content with the way his lawn looks currently. Maybe once he's in a LTR and the woman wants the grass outside to 'look pretty', he'll invest in having some green fluffy sod installed.
* He works FROM home. He has the type of career where he is at home a lot, which could translate into him spending more time at home with his future GF instead of always being 'at the office working late' or working OT on the weekends and hardly ever being at home with her. Not only that, but his work station is lit asf.
If I dated a guy and he was gracious enough to invite me to his home and the OP's house is what it looked like inside and out, it wouldn't make a difference to me either way. I date guys to see how their personality is and what's inside their heart - I DON'T date guys to try and find one with a beautifully decorated house specifically designed to MY liking or to womens' liking in general. Things like what colour the curtains are, wall hangings, plants, exterior fixtures, etc. are all things that CAN BE CHANGED whenever the mood strikes the owner; it's not etched in stone.
As long as the guy is a sweet person, is respectful and kind, is faithful (in EVERY way) to the woman he's with and is a responsible person which means that he is working, is paying his bills, owns a car and he's NOT a druggie, an abuser, a narcissist or doesn't have some other type of character disturbance - that is what's most important to me.....not how his house is (or isn't) decorated.
Well then you're one of the women that the OP doesn't believe who posts on here.
You are attractive and so you can pick a guy who has a lot of money, and he won't believe that you weren't looking for that.
The OP shows us the exterior and interior of his home to give us a feel for what the environment is within his every day life that he lives. I mean seriously, this is the guy's HOME, and everyone here is dissing it without fail. I realize that he opened his house up to being criticized when he posted his pics, but no one is mentioning the good things about it:
* His house is CLEAN. There were times I've been to a few guys houses/apts/studios and there was chit laying on the floor, garbage piling up in the bin and lumps of clutter scattered throughout. I'm especially impressed with how tidy and clean his bedroom is and how his bed is made; some guys NEVER make their beds and for me, that would be a HUGE turn off. Every woman is different and I can't speak for them, but for me personally, I'm not that superficial or picky to expect a single guy's house to look like it crawled out of the pages of Homes & Gardens.
Most guys I've ever known keep their house/apt very simple-looking, clean lines, usually lots of electronics/monitors/puter stuff, basic-looking furniture and dark grey/brown/black decor. Having plants can be dicey if they're not properly taken care of, watered, sunned and pruned regularly. Most guys don't have time for that, nor do they care to have to add that to their To Do list. As far as wall art is concerned, everyone has their own definition of style for the interior of their home. Some people hang posters, some hang boring framed art on their walls and some don't put anything on their walls. There's no reason for him to have a 'woman's touch' with regard to his decor since there isn't a woman living there and, he's NOT a woman, he's a GUY...and guys have different styles of decorating than we do.
* His house is PAID FOR. I think it says a lot for the OP that he has a home that is paid for and he's NOT renting, which everyone knows is the same thing as throwing your money into a fireplace. So what if it has bars on the windows and on the front door? Those probably came with the house and is a lot cheaper than him having to go and get a fancy-shmancy alarm system just to impress a woman who'd rather not have to 'see' the bars within her field of vision.
As far as his lawn is concerned, who cares if it isn't layered with St. Augustine sod? He's content with the way his lawn looks currently. Maybe once he's in a LTR and the woman wants the grass outside to 'look pretty', he'll invest in having some green fluffy sod installed.
* He works FROM home. He has the type of career where he is at home a lot, which could translate into him spending more time at home with his future GF instead of always being 'at the office working late' or working OT on the weekends and hardly ever being at home with her. Not only that, but his work station is lit asf.
If I dated a guy and he was gracious enough to invite me to his home and the OP's house is what it looked like inside and out, it wouldn't make a difference to me either way. I date guys to see how their personality is and what's inside their heart - I DON'T date guys to try and find one with a beautifully decorated house specifically designed to MY liking or to womens' liking in general. Things like what colour the curtains are, wall hangings, plants, exterior fixtures, etc. are all things that CAN BE CHANGED whenever the mood strikes the owner; it's not etched in stone.
As long as the guy is a sweet person, is respectful and kind, is faithful (in EVERY way) to the woman he's with and is a responsible person which means that he is working, is paying his bills, owns a car and he's NOT a druggie, an abuser, a narcissist or doesn't have some other type of character disturbance - that is what's most important to me.....not how his house is (or isn't) decorated.
I agree between me and my dog my house is a wreck.
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I realize that he opened his house up to being criticized when he posted his pics, but no one is mentioning the good things about it:
