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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,995,252 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa
OP is NOT financially fine, and the fact that he has not achieved stability by the age of 50 is a red flag. Which has nothing to do with her being after money, a golddigger, etc..
Clear now?
Yes, thank you for the clarification, though I'm guess that most of this knowledge of the OPs economic situation is from threads or posts I don't recall or see. The why for the lack of economic stability is a pretty significant variable, being lazy or unmotivated is very different than being a struggling artist, or a failed start up principal.
OP is NOT financially fine, and the fact that he has not achieved stability by the age of 50 is a red flag. Which has nothing to do with her being after money, a golddigger, etc..
Clear now?
In defence for the OP, at 47 he says he owns his home. Now I don't know exactly where he lives or the value of his residence, but I'd say he's probably doing okay. To do that on his own is good. There are a lot of single guys his age who are probably still renting vs owning. Some are probably still living at home!
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,995,252 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stockyman
In defence for the OP, at 47 he says he owns his home. Now I don't know exactly where he lives or the value of his residence, but I'd say he's probably doing okay. To do that on his own is good. There are a lot of single guys his age who are probably still renting vs owning. Some are probably still living at home!
Ha, well I just bought a place at 45 and was economically better off renting than buying! I was better off renting in many many ways, but it was a 15 year plan, not a 1-2 year plan. Definitely dating less since doing so.
In defence for the OP, at 47 he says he owns his home. Now I don't know exactly where he lives or the value of his residence, but I'd say he's probably doing okay. To do that on his own is good. There are a lot of single guys his age who are probably still renting vs owning. Some are probably still living at home!
Yup, the elites like it that way. It thins the herd. The plague of procreation must be suppressed, destroying the family unit was the first wave.
But if I remember correctly from the last time you were active on this site, you have a very specific lifestyle, correct? You work from home (which is a blacked-out man cave,) you only go out at night, you want a woman to just slot right into your life rather than meeting her in the middle.
Some threads stick out in my memory and I remember lots of posters gave him a hard time because he was basically a Netflix and chill home type.
I have nothing against the OP but the majority of women are not frugal stay home types. Personally I would love to meet a frugal, Netflix, and chill home type of girl as well but I know that is very rare and don't bother making it my main criteria.
The OP has to get out more and be willing to spend money. It has nothing to do with a woman being a gold digger, but most people in nature are social and like to go out and do activities that require money. There are so many trips to the library, museum, and walks in the park a guy can keep asking a woman to do.
Ha, well I just bought a place at 45 and was economically better off renting than buying! I was better off renting in many many ways, but it was a 15 year plan, not a 1-2 year plan. Definitely dating less since doing so.
I don't know where you live but if you owned a home where I live that definitely makes you more 'attractive' so to speak. I can imagine how more impressive it is to own in high COL cities.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,995,252 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stockyman
I have nothing against the OP but the majority of women are not frugal stay home types. Personally I would love to meet a frugal, Netflix, and chill home type of girl as well but I know that is very rare and don't bother making it my main criteria. .
See, I find the problem is there are few women that want to go out very much. I have no desire to sit and watch TVs/movies and "relax" all the time, or even most of the time. Finding women in their late 30s through 40s that are going out and having some fun is a challenge for me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stockyman
I don't know where you live but if you owned a home where I live that definitely makes you more 'attractive' so to speak. I can imagine how more impressive it is to own in high COL cities.
I can't recall anyone ever asking me if I rented or owned. I don't live in a high COL area, not for the Northeast. It's perfectly easy to get a decent to nice condo for 200-300k where I'm at, in an ok part of the city (not the best, not the worst).
See, I find the problem is there are few women that want to go out very much. I have no desire to sit and watch TVs/movies and "relax" all the time, or even most of the time. Finding women in their late 30s through 40s that are going out and having some fun is a challenge for me.
Same here that's one of my struggles, but really that's why people such as myself go for younger. That's why I try and join Meetup groups or even create my own. I have pickle ball courts near me and a tennis court, the only people that play are old geezers. I have no idea what people do in my area I think everyone over 30 is just married w/ kids and involved in school sports, that's all they care about.
Some threads stick out in my memory and I remember lots of posters gave him a hard time because he was basically a Netflix and chill home type.
I have nothing against the OP but the majority of women are not frugal stay home types. Personally I would love to meet a frugal, Netflix, and chill home type of girl as well but I know that is very rare and don't bother making it my main criteria.
The OP has to get out more and be willing to spend money. It has nothing to do with a woman being a gold digger, but most people in nature are social and like to go out and do activities that require money. There are so many trips to the library, museum, and walks in the park a guy can keep asking a woman to do.
You do realize that holing up at home and watching movies isn't the only option for a free date, don't you?
OP said from the start that he does spend money on nice dates, just not weekly, but more like every other week. That's not the issue. Or maybe it depends on your perspective. If a woman expects, or wants/"needs" spendy dates every week, well I guess that's fine if a person has money to burn, but since not everyone does, it's perfectly reasonable to consider those as special treats, and have cheaper dates and occasional free dates the rest of the time. The only issue there would be to find women who are ok with that, but that shouldn't be hard. There are a lot of women out there who are fine with it.
I'm not so sure that's the main issue the OP's running into; maybe he could clarify. It was sounding like the deeper issue is that woman are wondering why, at 3 years short of 50, the OP is starting over again career-wise and financially. Though someone just pointed out that he does own his own home, which is something. IDK, it just seems to me that if the OP is only dating women who expect to be wined and dined weekly, that he's barking up all the wrong trees, but there seems to be more to the picture than that.
You do realize that holing up at home and watching movies isn't the only option for a free date, don't you?
OP said from the start that he does spend money on nice dates, just not weekly, but more like every other week. That's not the issue. Or maybe it depends on your perspective. If a woman expects, or wants/"needs" spendy dates every week, well I guess that's fine if a person has money to burn, but since not everyone does, it's perfectly reasonable to consider those as special treats, and have cheaper dates and occasional free dates the rest of the time. The only issue there would be to find women who are ok with that, but that shouldn't be hard. There are a lot of women out there who are fine with it.
I'm not so sure that's the main issue the OP's running into; maybe he could clarify. It was sounding like the deeper issue is that woman are wondering why, at 3 years short of 50, the OP is starting over again career-wise and financially. Though someone just pointed out that he does own his own home, which is something. IDK, it just seems to me that if the OP is only dating women who expect to be wined and dined weekly, that he's barking up all the wrong trees, but there seems to be more to the picture than that.
I think his point was he thinks he's doing good enough financially and that a lot of women on here say they don't need a man for their money or housing, but the women he's seeing in RL makes him think otherwise. So he's saying the women on here are different than the ones he sees in RL. I think that's the overall summary of the story but I guess I might be wrong on that I don't remember everyone's situation.
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