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I wouldn't say I have given up. I am not focusing on it 100%. I am doing more things that make me happy. Dating wasn't making me feel good about myself. I had some nice conversations with women I went out with, but nothing ever went anywhere. I am watching all my friends slowly get married and I know it's only a matter of time before they have kids. Everyone is on a different path. I keep telling myself there's nothing wrong with me.
I am thinking about taking guitar lessons again. I joined a Young Adult Jewish group where I have met some amazing people. Shabbat dinners are so much fun. I start bowling in February and I have been doing some trivia night meetups. I find meeting people in these situations is more organic. It's better these real life experiences supplement my online dating efforts.
I am thinking about taking guitar lessons again. I joined a Young Adult Jewish group where I have met some amazing people. Shabbat dinners are so much fun. I start bowling in February and I have been doing some trivia night meetups. I find meeting people in these situations is more organic. It's better these real life experiences supplement my online dating efforts.
I used to go to Jewish groups too, before I became an atheist. I did Shabbat dinners, Passover seders, Purim dances, the whole nine yards. I didn't really enjoy them, to be honest. (Although the alcohol factor at Purim loosened things up a little bit.) They were all very cliquey; people only hung out with the friends they came with, rather than try to get know someone new. Even when they did singles' mixers, women came with their boyfriends. At best, those events were mildly pleasant time-fillers, like Meetup before its time. The free food was nice, though.
Maybe it's a Chicago thing. After all, Chicago has a big Jewish community, where a lot of people already know each other. Which gives less incentive to actually try to meet other Tribe members. It's probably different in Louisville, where the Jewish community is smaller, and individual Jews are more isolated.
I used to go to Jewish groups too, before I became an atheist. I did Shabbat dinners, Passover seders, Purim dances, the whole nine yards. I didn't really enjoy them, to be honest. (Although the alcohol factor at Purim loosened things up a little bit.) They were all very cliquey; people only hung out with the friends they came with, rather than try to get know someone new. Even when they did singles' mixers, women came with their boyfriends. At best, those events were mildly pleasant time-fillers, like Meetup before its time. The free food was nice, though.
Maybe it's a Chicago thing. After all, Chicago has a big Jewish community, where a lot of people already know each other. Which gives less incentive to actually try to meet other Tribe members. It's probably different in Louisville, where the Jewish community is smaller, and individual Jews are more isolated.
lol, I am in Massachusetts. There is a bigger Jewish community closer to Boston, but I am in central MA so it is what it is. Boston is super expensive. I agree about people being cliquey. It seems to be big in the Northeast. Everyone is very insular and it takes a while before you're "let into their group".
I wanted to try something new so I did. They have a couple events coming up in December. I'll probably attend a few and see how things go. I can always stop going.
You're lucky. Must be something in Chicago's water, then. They say New York's water is really good, so there's your explanation.
The beauty of MG... is that it starves the beast that led to it in the first place. Namely, big industries, and the government who makes anti-male laws. Think about it: so many industries in our society depend on stable providers caving to pressure to settle down. With such men making up 80% of the population, pushing them to do so is a lucrative move. (Naturally desirable men, the other 20%, do not settle down, or settle down on their own terms.)
Fancy restaurants, florists, chocolatiers, jewelers, McMansion contractors, William Sonoma et al., marriage counselors who always side with the wife, divorce lawyers, the whole damn baby industry, and even our government. (Without men providing a divorce windfall, they'd need to give single mothers more TANF.) They all make big money from stable providers caving to pressure to settle down. I.e. not being "Peter Pans" .
But let's stop while we're ahead. We can't post MG... threads.
...I've listened to and actually read some of the material...
But this is the relationships forum. There are other forums to go to for this type of talk. I personally have nothing against women. Any issue I have with women, I have with people. Most of the people who have done wrong by me were men.
I'm more of a let what happen happen type with relationships.
lol, I am in Massachusetts. There is a bigger Jewish community closer to Boston, but I am in central MA so it is what it is. Boston is super expensive. I agree about people being cliquey. It seems to be big in the Northeast. Everyone is very insular and it takes a while before you're "let into their group".
I wanted to try something new so I did. They have a couple events coming up in December. I'll probably attend a few and see how things go. I can always stop going.
That might work. Chanukah is coming up next month, after all. If nothing else, you'll get to eat some latkes with sour cream and paprika; good stuff. As for me, my Meetups were way better than any of my Jewish groups. Insularity was nonexistent there. I made several good friends in my Meetup groups. A handful of groups turned out to be duds as well. Unfortunately, Meetup didn't start going mainstream until 2011. Perhaps you can give it a shot, and see how it turns out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TJenkins602
But this is the relationships forum. There are other forums to go to for this type of talk. I personally have nothing against women. Any issue I have with women, I have with people. Most of the people who have done wrong by me were men.
True, true. I don't begrudge people who are traditional-minded when it comes to relationships. I just have a beef with the imbalance of power that's in most of today's committed relationships, along with having to negotiate for it all the time. And perhaps that anti-LTR post was excessive; where's the "eating crow" emoticon? Even so, I prefer to abstain.
You're lucky. Must be something in Chicago's water, then. They say New York's water is really good, so there's your explanation.
The beauty of MG... is that it starves the beast that led to it in the first place. Namely, big industries, and the government who makes anti-male laws. Think about it: so many industries in our society depend on stable providers caving to pressure to settle down. With such men making up 80% of the population, pushing them to do so is a lucrative move. (Naturally desirable men, the other 20%, do not settle down, or settle down on their own terms.)
Fancy restaurants, florists, chocolatiers, jewelers, McMansion contractors, William Sonoma et al., marriage counselors who always side with the wife, divorce lawyers, the whole damn baby industry, and even our government. (Without men providing a divorce windfall, they'd need to give single mothers more TANF.) They all make big money from stable providers caving to pressure to settle down. I.e. not being "Peter Pans" .
But let's stop while we're ahead. We can't post MG... threads.
I noticed mgtow threads weren't allowed on here so I post where they're now. I won't be posting here anymore so I wish you luck on here.
That might work. Chanukah is coming up next month, after all. If nothing else, you'll get to eat some latkes with sour cream and paprika; good stuff. As for me, my Meetups were way better than any of my Jewish groups. Insularity was nonexistent there. I made several good friends in my Meetup groups. A handful of groups turned out to be duds as well. Unfortunately, Meetup didn't start going mainstream until 2011. Perhaps you can give it a shot, and see how it turns out.
There's a girl in one of my meetup groups who is absolutely gorgeous. We were at a bar a couple weeks ago and about 8 people showed up including her. Her friend's band was performing and we had a good time, but after a while it was hard talking to people because the music was so loud. I can only be in places like that so long.
One thing that ticked me off though. One of the guys who has been in the same meetups with her said "None of you guys have a chance with her. I know what you're thinking." This was said when she went off to say hello to some other people. I kept my mouth shut, but I was thinking to myself let her do the rejecting if she is not interested.
Anyways I got her number when I was chatting with her on the meetup app. Before the event, I asked what kind of music does her friend's band play. She wanted to send me videos so she send me her number.
I have to continue putting myself out there and do activities that interest me with other people.
That might work. Chanukah is coming up next month, after all. If nothing else, you'll get to eat some latkes with sour cream and paprika; good stuff. As for me, my Meetups were way better than any of my Jewish groups. Insularity was nonexistent there. I made several good friends in my Meetup groups. A handful of groups turned out to be duds as well. Unfortunately, Meetup didn't start going mainstream until 2011. Perhaps you can give it a shot, and see how it turns out.
True, true. I don't begrudge people who are traditional-minded when it comes to relationships. I just have a beef with the imbalance of power that's in most of today's committed relationships, along with having to negotiate for it all the time. And perhaps that anti-LTR post was excessive; where's the "eating crow" emoticon? Even so, I prefer to abstain.
You're proselytizing. Not just "it's not for me, but whatever." And like most proselytizing, it's not without its share of cognitive and confirmation bias about the other wayward or "deluded" individuals who "just don't get it" like you do. We get it. You're miserable, bitter and detest relationships, with the so few LTRs you've had, and can't be bothered to pursue. No one cares. Just because you're sullen about "the state of relationships" for all but the "top 20% of men" doesn't mean every dude is misguided or deluded in their pursuit or preference to be in a relationship. Not every guy is like you, with your quirks, attitude, worldview, personality, needs, preferences, mindset, biases, etc. People, including other men, can be content with their relationship dynamic, all while others do their own thing sans romantic/life partner.
You're proselytizing. Not just "it's not for me, but whatever." And like most proselytizing, it's not without its share of cognitive and confirmation bias about the other wayward or "deluded" individuals who "just don't get it" like you do. We get it. You're miserable, bitter and detest relationships, with the so few LTRs you've had, and can't be bothered to pursue. No one cares. Just because you're sullen about "the state of relationships" for all but the "top 20% of men" doesn't mean every dude is misguided or deluded in their pursuit or preference to be in a relationship. Not every guy is like you, with your quirks, attitude, worldview, personality, needs, preferences, mindset, biases, etc. People, including other men, can be content with their relationship dynamic, all while others do their own thing sans romantic/life partner.
Yes and yes.
My TL/DR version: being happy with my choice A does not rely on you being unhappy or deluded with your choice B.
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After all, Chicago has a big Jewish community, where a lot of people already know each other. Which gives less incentive to actually try to meet other Tribe members. It's probably different in Louisville, where the Jewish community is smaller, and individual Jews are more isolated.
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