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Thanks, this is my first relationship and marriage, I don't know if I'd do it again at my age 40's.
It just seems like she doesn't care, you know when someone breaks or thinks they find a way out, she made the comment that she is trapped with me because I'm the one with the good job and making the money. She had to option to leave in Florida 5 years ago if so.
Well, from everything you have said so far, I am scratching my head wondering what you are upset about. Your marriage sounds like it was awful before she "met" this guy. Has this relationship been meeting your needs for the past 18 years? Have you been mostly happy?
We have no kids, I forgot to mention that, no real assetts and no debt too high yet. When I read through the laws, it seems like it will be quick, problem is I don't want her to leave and have me pay for her rent either, cannot afford it.
I won't give her a 2nd chance, I already did that years ago.
Well, the court might order alimony. If so, the longer you stay married, the worse it gets.
There is a possibility, but I suspect if it happens it might be after she finds out Mr. Goodbar isn't who he say's he is or doesn't like her in person or he has other motives. By that time, it will be over because I won't allow myself to be used like that, meaning she will be sleeping under my roof and going out on dates or to his place, nope, not going to allow that. If she thought otherwise then she is dumb.
This isn't like other times, I think she mentally cracked, problem is I'm not reacting to it like the past, I'm not talking about it or to her, only did the day I found out, I have a total don't care attitude now, not shedding tears or begging, so she is probably confused on what I'm up to, perhaps she is scared that her tactics are not working and it might actually happen on my end? Dunno, but I have to do what' best for me.
She is sitting watching Tv with her phone next to her, probably waiting for Mr.Goodbar to message her so she can fill him in on the goings on, that's how he is communicating with her now more often, messenger app. If I could read what they were talking about I'd probably lose it, better that I don't know.
I think there is a line couples cross in a relationship, adultry and unfaithfulness to me is no man's land, whether it's a sexual encounter or just cybersex or just the fact she is cheating behind my back is enough to draw the line. There is flirting and some couples get in a tiff about that, or checking out other people. I almost left her the first time before we were married, the only reason I didn't because it wasn't the same or similar in nature to this, to be honest I was too guillable back then, but I wised up.
Whatever you do, don't get yourself so angry at her that you end up putting your hands on her and getting locked up, ruining your life. Reject the O.J. Simpson energy and embrace the Dali Lama energy. (But still get divorced)
No, I will have to do it, she is not too good at doing stuff like that.
The question I have is, should I make copies of the evidence I found, letters, e-mails and notes? To prove to the courts she was cheating on me? I read it is such, but I guess a Lawyer could tell me for sure.
To be honest, I don't think she is playing with a full deck on this whole thing, that is she talks the talk but when it comes to walking the walk, she may fold.
This is a no-fault state. It makes no difference who is "at fault", who cheated on whom, etc.
Well, from everything you have said so far, I am scratching my head wondering what you are upset about. Your marriage sounds like it was awful before she "met" this guy. Has this relationship been meeting your needs for the past 18 years? Have you been mostly happy?
It wasn't always bad, there was a few bumps in the road when we started out met in not so good terms to be honest, aside from financial issues related to her not having steady employment things were good between us for more than then the flipside of issues. I think the difference between me and her is I'm career driven, always held steady employment, she on the other hand had jobs that she quit and wasn't able to backfill promptly or made poor choices in not having something else lined up before quitting.
We both leaned on each other through some difficult times, that was she was there for me and I was there for her, but as with anything, people change. I'm very loyal and expect people to treat me like I treat them, whether its' in my job or in my marriage, when I'm not getting that or find out I was being deceived, i change my mind quicky, problem in a marriage you tend to bend more but there are limts.
Whatever you do, don't get yourself so angry at her that you end up putting your hands on her and getting locked up, ruining your life. Reject the O.J. Simpson energy and embrace the Dali Lama energy. (But still get divorced)
No, never. I'm not wired that way, dont' worry. Karma is a such, so let the chips fall where they may right?
This is a no-fault state. It makes no difference who is "at fault", who cheated on whom, etc.
Yes it is, no-fault but I know I can sleep at night. I could never, ever feel good about knowing I cheated on the one I love, whether it be physical contact or cybersex, I read some views on online cheating, many say it is just that cheating even if no physical contact happened. I look at it more like untrustworthy, values are low, narcissitic and unfaithful. That who saying when you get married "Till Death Do Us Part" can be broken.
We had to take a marriage test before we got marriage licence, was informal with the County we lived in. The woman asked us 5 questions, the last one was, "What is the primary reason for Divorce", she said "Money", now if that was the case this wouldn't have lasted too long because money has been an issue for a long time.
Well thanks for saying that, but I'm too nice a person and get burnt in real life more often then what's typical.
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