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Why do you call him "third party"? This is an important question.
Third party means he has all the ingredients to be perfect contact as he has two small daughter, mom, wife perfect combination to go out for family trips together and for celebrating religious events and doing other things that would be common among us like Barbecue.
He has told us that we will plan all our future Trips and plans together and he will bring all the things that she would like to have like trips abroad.
Normally if the guy is single then people would doubt his intentions but being happily married means no body will question the relationship and everything will look normal to outsiders.
I made this mess and I have to leave in this agony as she has great connection with another person so i will keep fighting this battle and other person will continue to do favors and right action to win her over.
My wife says that connection is something you need to make and things happen after that; he has no connection to his wife and he gives her two children and a property so that should be good enough for her according to him he owes her nothing in terms of emotional attachment.
He lives his life separate from his wife even if they appear to be living in one house; my wife says that she will do suicide if i continue to be like this, so things are dire right now; I can not control my emotions and she wants me to become like old before when I did not tell her to stop and she was enjoying her self and making connection with another men.
It is still preferable to answer the question. What do you want to do?
It is still preferable to answer the question. What do you want to do?
I am trying to focus on us and tell her to be more open to other people to join activity; Yet, after few days she would go back to him again.
She still has two more months off from work and says to let her speak to him as he is challenging her values and helping her face my family and confidence;
I can plan something but I need her to accommodate and I keep failing at this as she blames me for all her past suffering and says that she showed me what she liked but I never payed attention and I should pay the Price for that ignorance.
I am trying to focus on us and tell her to be more open to other people to join activity; Yet, after few days she would go back to him again.
She still has two more months off from work and says to let her speak to him as he is challenging her values and helping her face my family and confidence;
I can plan something but I need her to accommodate and I keep failing at this as she blames me for all her past suffering and says that she showed me what she liked but I never payed attention and I should pay the Price for that ignorance.
So you haven't sat down and thought about what you want. That is the start of self-respect.
So you haven't sat down and thought about what you want. That is the start of self-respect.
I had two sessions with Marriage Councillor;
the first session I was alone as my wife did not want to attend at first; in that session the Councillor advised me to get rid of the Third party from the equation as they are impeding in to the boundary; I tried to break off which obviously did not work as my wife is too attached to the other person.
The following meeting My wife came along with me and got to the point of acceptance that she was having a strong emotional attachment for this third person; at that time Marriage Councillor told us to work on our connection and work together to make effort for each other.
After the meeting two weeks ago my wife says that Marriage councellor never told her to stop with Third party and I had to make the effort and for her to see if I was making an Effort to win her over. So, she is back to her routine with third party and my fight to win her over goes on.
What do you guys should come as a subject line for third meeting that is crucial?
Wow, I am having a hard time believing you let your wife have a relationship with another man with your blessing. Personally I think you are afraid what will happen if you tell her to stop that's the real issue.
It sounds like she is quite attractive and you feel inferior and are afraid of losing her. You can either continue this charade and take it, or see if she really cares about you at all.
She is having her cake and eating it too. And you serve it up for her. "Developing social skills???"
HAVE SOME RESPECT. Is she your wife or not. Tell her no, or get out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow, I am having a hard time believing you let your wife have a relationship with another man with your blessing. Personally I think you are afraid what will happen if you tell her to stop that's the real issue.
It sounds like she is quite attractive and you feel inferior and are afraid of losing her. You can either continue this charade and take it, or see if she really cares about you at all.
She is having her cake and eating it too. And you serve it up for her. "Developing social skills???"
HAVE SOME RESPECT. Is she your wife or not. Tell her no, or get out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In college she was the Only Married girl and beautiful too as a student; she met few guys from our home country who protected and supported her as she was getting approached by guys all over the place; that friend from college was a international student and did not have any family here.
So knowing that he was protecting my wife I decided to make acquaintance with him; we did activities together and he would spend time with her when she was at college; the location was far away from my home so she use to do travelling by herself; I never mined her actions as inappropriate.
She now says that she got to close to him, one time by mistake she admitted that she slept together one time, and she says I sent her that night; but How can I create boundaries at that time if I never got involved in that scenario and that person kept distance from me. He is no longer in the Picture as the Third party has taken every other connection out of her life.
She likes to chat and talk with other guys; she has consistently done this for last 8 years and it was OK by me as I thought that's just a way to keep in touch with friends; I never checked her messages or spied on her conversation.
You are gullible. But she allowed it all to happen.
Things may be too far gone to save.
Are you willing to speak to a divorce attorney?
She is way too emotional regarding this topic;
She says baby is making her emotionally disturbed; She is breast feeding the baby and sleeping late; the baby wakes her up multiple times in the night and then wakes up early in the Morning; this all makes her not have enough sleep time and then she becomes moody and hyper aggressive when I am around;
I will take care of the baby when I come home, but I need her to start being positive.
Nobody knows about our conflict and she wants to keep it that way; She is threatening to hurt her self if I continue to pursue this topic; I do not know at this point how I can make her happy.
I can not read her mind; and its hard to tell where and what she is thinking as she is not sharing whats in her mind.
How can I talk about this things to her without fighting? Is it just part of being mom and anxiety of going back to work and baby not ready? I want to show empathy and try to work through this.
the first session I was alone as my wife did not want to attend at first; in that session the Councillor advised me to get rid of the Third party from the equation as they are impeding in to the boundary; I tried to break off which obviously did not work as my wife is too attached to the other person.
The following meeting My wife came along with me and got to the point of acceptance that she was having a strong emotional attachment for this third person; at that time Marriage Councillor told us to work on our connection and work together to make effort for each other.
After the meeting two weeks ago my wife says that Marriage councellor never told her to stop with Third party and I had to make the effort and for her to see if I was making an Effort to win her over. So, she is back to her routine with third party and my fight to win her over goes on.
What do you guys should come as a subject line for third meeting that is crucial?
Look. Let's be frank here. Your wife has no desire to stop seeing the other guy. She also has no desire to do ANYTHING to fix whatever is broken in your marriage. She is in NRE fog. You won't put her to the ultimate tests and ask her me or him because you know what she will choose, home wrecker label and all.
What do you get out of staying in this marriage?
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