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Please wake up. It's inappropriate if you're hitting on them in these places out of the blue, if they're just being courteous to you or you haven't established any chemistry. I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN DAMN OBVIOUS. I mean, seriously, if I'm going to go to a grocery store and talk to someone for 5 seconds about how bad the avocados are and then ask them out? No, just no. Have you talked to them for a good bit and established there is a chemistry there? Different story. If you can't tell the difference between those two? Well, that's pretty bad.
You're forgetting who some of your audience is here. Some can barely speak to a woman, so building a rapport is not even on their radar.
That's why dating is not a numbers game because you're not meant to ask out any woman you speak to, who answers back. That is never enough to go on to ask someone out and why you're almost always going to be turned down.
You're forgetting who some of your audience is here. Some can barely speak to a woman, so building a rapport is not even on their radar.
Yes. But still solutions to the acquisition of a woman remains the goal with the insistence that actually being able to TALK to one is unreasonable.
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That's why dating is not a numbers game because you're not meant to ask out any woman you speak to, who answers back. That is never enough to go on to ask someone out and why you're almost always going to be turned down.
Or you could become a human being who views women as the same.
I think a more pertinent question to ask would be "Has anyone ever been made uncomfortable by having to turn down a guy when (you thought) it was obvious that you didn't have any interest in him?"
For me, if I felt “uncomfortable” it would be because I felt bad that I must have led the guy on someway I wasn’t aware of,....or, he’s extremely awkward around women and I know he was really putting himself out there by asking, and I feel bad for bursting his bubble. I would not feel traumatized or vulnerable by doing so. I wouldn’t think anything less of the guy for asking....as long as he took my “no” as final and didn’t continue to pester me.
For me, if I felt “uncomfortable” it would be because I felt bad that I must have led the guy on someway I wasn’t aware of,....or, he’s extremely awkward around women and I know he was really putting himself out there by asking, and I feel bad for bursting his bubble. I would not feel traumatized or vulnerable by doing so. I wouldn’t think anything less of the guy for asking....as long as he took my “no” as final and didn’t continue to pester me.
For me, if I felt “uncomfortable” it would be because I felt bad that I must have led the guy on someway I wasn’t aware of,....or, he’s extremely awkward around women and I know he was really putting himself out there by asking, and I feel bad for bursting his bubble. I would not feel traumatized or vulnerable by doing so. I wouldn’t think anything less of the guy for asking....as long as he took my “no” as final and didn’t continue to pester me.
Over the past few years, I've asked a bunch of people their thoughts and advice on dating, and it's becoming clear that none of it applies to me.
For instance, I was told that people mingle at bars, so I went to bars every weekend for 14 months and not one person talked to me.
Did you actually approach people?
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Dating apps, same thing.
Did you actually message people or did you wait to be messaged by women?
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I get the impression that these things tend to work for people because they're attractive. If you go to a bar and someone talks to you, maybe it's simply because you're attractive.
Being attractive really helps. But unattractive people get into relationships literally all the time because they are outgoing and have great personalities. Also, you can work on your appearance to make yourself more attractive.
Over the past few years, I've asked a bunch of people their thoughts and advice on dating, and it's becoming clear that none of it applies to me.
For instance, I was told that people mingle at bars, so I went to bars every weekend for 14 months and not one person talked to me. Dating apps, same thing. I get the impression that these things tend to work for people because they're attractive. If you go to a bar and someone talks to you, maybe it's simply because you're attractive.
So, if this is true, then why are people so reluctant to admit it? Are they afraid to hurt people's feelings? All this does is get a person's hopes up, which would make the truth even harder to swallow. Any thoughts?
One of your opening lines in your previous thread is something like “I’m a straight man that doesn’t approach women.”
Why not? Are you afraid to? Or are you thing to buck convention?
Yes, it’s the 21st century, but the vast majority of women STILL expect men to approach them rather than the other way around.
I’m a straight male as well, I’m or super attractive and consider myself average at best. Most people are average and not super attractive anyways. Most women don’t expect to date a super attractive movie star type. Sure, physical attraction is important but women also want a guy with a personality and someone who will make them laugh. Reading your posts, this doesn’t really seem to be you. Priory to my (now failed) marriage, I never had a problem dating because I did the approaching and based on the reactions I get, I can make people laugh.
If you want to date, YOU’RE going to have to do the approaching. Don’t sit around expecting women to approach you, it likely won’t happen because that still isn’t the dating convention, no matter what “the internet” says.
Please wake up. It's inappropriate if you're hitting on them in these places out of the blue, if they're just being courteous to you or you haven't established any chemistry. I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN DAMN OBVIOUS. I mean, seriously, if I'm going to go to a grocery store and talk to someone for 5 seconds about how bad the avocados are and then ask them out? No, just no. Have you talked to them for a good bit and established there is a chemistry there? Different story. If you can't tell the difference between those two? Well, that's pretty bad.
I wouldn't ask for a date unless there were obvious signs of attraction in a conversation. Better to ask for a number to continue the conversation. Also, don't go too far in hitting on every woman you see in grocery stores, else it just becomes weird.
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But hey, if you want to randomly ask for numbers, go right ahead. Her friends will here stories about the odd dude they ran into.
If you make a good impression in the conversation, this will be less likely to happen. Some women might have a negative reaction, but you just need one success right?
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And hey, if you thinking hitting on a woman at an abuse shelter is ok, well, yeah. And yes, I have had friends had that happen more than once.
Yeah, hitting on women in an abuse shelter isn't a good idea.
Besides that, I wasn't talking about women having "interest" in me anyway. I'm referring to casual interactions here, regarding the shared-interest group activity, and maybe even some small talk. My observation is that it's men and married women who interact with me. Your response here seems to imply that the single women would only talk to me if they have interest in me? Isn't that a common misconception among men, that if a women is friendly, she is interested?
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Originally Posted by timberline742
Good god, no, nothing about what I said implied that at all. You are just reading into things what you want to hear. You're scrounging for confirmation bias.
You may be right. I may have been making a false conclusion. I apologize!
I had been talking about a shared-interest environment where only men and married women talk to me, not single women, and you were making reference to women letting you know if there is interest. The assumption I made was that these women could only be showing interest WHILE they're talking to you, but I'm realizing now that it's faulty logic.
So, that being said, what would be an example of a woman showing interest?
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