How long should you know someone you are dating before being alone with them? (girl, attracted)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,584,857 times
Reputation: 7613
Advertisements
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL
This is particular to you and your needs. I don't want a lot of 'face-timing and sharing of pictures and voice' before I meet someone. It's not necessary, when we can just meet in person and either move on to the next step, or move along. I think in my experiences, this tons of communication and all means of visuals would tend to build up hope and expectations before the in person meeting. The other person gets the impression that you're really into them, if you keep engaging in this pseudo relationship.
For me, the sooner the better, no dragging it all out, just meet. Then you know if you can be alone.
Ofc it is my needs....because it is my opinion to answering the O.P.s question.....
Ita it shouldn’t be dragged out for months.....but....safety & if I feel comfortable in his words & actions are a big thing......I follow stuff on the dating websites & Nev & Max’s advice...it’s very helpful IMO & they answer stuff like how soon should you meet alone too. I’ve learned a lot about online dating that way.....& from my channel......
Shrugs...I dunno why everyone is fighting me about my answers......if you disagree.....give O.P. your answers then??
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,981,862 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL
This is particular to you and your needs. I don't want a lot of 'face-timing and sharing of pictures and voice' before I meet someone. It's not necessary, when we can just meet in person and either move on to the next step, or move along. I think in my experiences, this tons of communication and all means of visuals would tend to build up hope and expectations before the in person meeting. The other person gets the impression that you're really into them, if you keep engaging in this pseudo relationship.
For me, the sooner the better, no dragging it all out, just meet. Then you know if you can be alone.
Yes, this. I can't even remember even talking on the phone. A few messages back and forth, ok cool, grab a drink and see if there is anything there. If they're not down with that, power to them, and move on. No biggie, no loss.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,584,857 times
Reputation: 7613
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
Yes, this. I can't even remember even talking on the phone. A few messages back and forth, ok cool, grab a drink and see if there is anything there. If they're not down with that, power to them, and move on. No biggie, no loss.
When the guy lives halfway across the country...you can’t *just grab a drink*......talking helps you decide if he is worth going halfway across the country to have a drink......
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,981,862 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh
When the guy lives halfway across the country...you can’t *just grab a drink*......talking helps you decide if he is worth going halfway across the country to have a drink......
Why would I be talking to someone halfway across the country in the first place? Heck, I wouldn't want to be wasting time chatting with someone 30 miles away. I'm not looking for pen pals. I mean, if people want pen pals, fine, that's fine, but I didn't think that's what we're talking about. My partner has flown to meet people, but they were people she met at events with very specific skills/traits, so it wasn't a first meeting.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,584,857 times
Reputation: 7613
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
Why would I be talking to someone halfway across the country in the first place? Heck, I wouldn't want to be wasting time chatting with someone 30 miles away. I'm not looking for pen pals.
O.P. asked about online dating....& how soon to feel safe being alone with someone....but it applies to other dating too. We still have to decide how soon we are willing to be alone with a man.....or have sex....or put ourselves in that position.....so how soon would you want to be alone with a man?
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,981,862 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh
O.P. asked about online dating....& how soon to feel safe being alone with someone....but it applies to other dating too. We still have to decide how soon we are willing to be alone with a man.....or have sex....or put ourselves in that position.....so how soon would you want to be alone with a man?
I wouldn't want to be alone with a man at all. And I already answered the question, based on my experiences with women... generally from 60 minutes to never, or anything in between. Some of my friends don't wait 60 minutes of course. It when both people feel like it. It's not rocket science.
O.P. asked about online dating....& how soon to feel safe being alone with someone....but it applies to other dating too. We still have to decide how soon we are willing to be alone with a man.....or have sex....or put ourselves in that position.....so how soon would you want to be alone with a man?
I answered the question already, "whenever I feel comfortable with the idea of having sex."
I would not ever go to a man's house and be surprised if getting laid was on his mind. To me, this kind of thing was de-mystified back in high school, where the biggest challenge in having naughty teenage nookie was finding the privacy to do it. "Come hang out at my place, my parents don't get home till 6." Yeah that doesn't mean come eat Spaghettios and watch cartoons.
LOL in fact there have been a couple of times I went to someone's house with the thought that we were getting together to have sex, and the guy wanted to play video games while I watched, or watch some TV show and I was actually a bit insulted and offended about all that. Like I did not drive an hour out into the boonies here to watch "Longmire" with you, guy. I really did not.
Now long distance relationships are a WHOLE other animal. Completely different, different rules, and many people won't even bother with them. I wouldn't. But I guess the answer might be the same, since long distance travel is expensive, and I doubt I'd pay to fly halfway across the country if I didn't feel sure enough about a guy to even have sex with him, and I doubt a man would pay for such travel either, unless the same were true in his mind as well. I have no idea how long you'd have to correspond long distance before feeling ready for such intimacy.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,584,857 times
Reputation: 7613
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
I wouldn't want to be alone with a man at all. And I already answered the question, based on my experiences with women... generally from 60 minutes to never, or anything in between. Some of my friends don't wait 60 minutes of course. It when both people feel like it. It's not rocket science.
You may not care...BUT a woman’s safety & how soon we are alone with a man when dating him.....can be a big thing.....read all the posts about women that have been raped on a 1st or 2nd date.....
Ofc it is my needs....because it is my opinion to answering the O.P.s question.....
Ita it shouldn’t be dragged out for months.....but....safety & if I feel comfortable in his words & actions are a big thing......I follow stuff on the dating websites & Nev & Max’s advice...it’s very helpful IMO & they answer stuff like how soon should you meet alone too. I’ve learned a lot about online dating that way.....& from my channel......
Shrugs...I dunno why everyone is fighting me about my answers......if you disagree.....give O.P. your answers then??
Everyone's not 'fighting with you'. If your style of communication reflected that you were only giving your personal opinion on what's best for you, you would not get that kind of reaction.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,584,857 times
Reputation: 7613
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL
Everyone's not 'fighting with you'. If your style of communication reflected that you were only giving your personal opinion on what's best for you, you would not get that kind of reaction.
Ofc it’s my personal opinion....I can’t give someone else’s! All I have said is my own personal stuff & experience when I met my current Bf too....to help answer the O.P.s question the best I can........
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
All I have said is my own personal stuff & experience when I met my current Bf too....to help answer the O.P.s question the best I can........
