Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Yet? You are dating him for how long?
You don't have keys to his apartment... why? You are married. You have a right to see where and how he lives. Have you ever been to his apartment? Do you even know where it is?
You live in a tiny room with your dog. Is he only visiting you there?
Yet? You are dating him for how long?
You don't have keys to his apartment... why? You are married. You have a right to see where and how he lives. Have you ever been to his apartment? Do you even know where it is?
You live in a tiny room with your dog. Is he only visiting you there?
Yes I have been to his apt and have slept over there many times. I dont live in a room? I have a one bedroom apt.
In North Carolina, you're required to have two witnesses to the marriage. In many cases, this can just be your maid of honor and the best man. Witnesses are required to sign the marriage certificate in many cases. This just states that they witnessed the ceremony and that it was a valid wedding.
So, who else signed the marriage certificate (witnesses)? His friends, your friends or random strangers?
He stayed with his parents and not his wife? Spent Thanksgiving and Christmas with them, and left you on New Year Day alone?
Do you live in different cities? How far apart?
If he does what he said he does, then he is not poor (accountants and financial advisers make great money) and could certainly afford something better than a bachelor pad where is no place for you to live.
So, if he doesn't have or care for a real place to live because he is rarely home, then why did he marry you? To make you sit at home alone?
How old you both are?
Does he have any kids/want kids?
My three friends were there and one signed I know for sure. I don’t really remember those details but I know we had to have a witness. But other people were there to but not for us.
Yes he went and I didn’t. He told me he was going to tell them first then introduce me but he chickened over over TG I guess then over Christmas he told me it was be his sister announced she was pregnant and he did not want to take away the attention from her because she has had trouble getting pregnant but at this point, who knows. I know that from our convo last night that basically he worries about what people may think.
No we got married to start a family. He says he is ready for that step and that he really does want us to be together. He says he realized what we had after we broke up and that he didn’t want to lose me again. Yes we both want kids eventually but not right away since we just got married.
No he is going to scale back once he gets this next promotion. He has been in the industry for eight years and has had to prove himself so he works a lot.
Things that are completely messed up, not normal, and should cause you to worry:
- he's ashamed of you
- he doesn't live with you
- he hasn't given you a key to his place
- you don't have any proof he added you to accounts, financial instruments, or insurance
This could all be resolved quite easily. Give him a deadline -- 2 weeks -- to introduce you to his family and friends and to give you a key to his apt. Get his insurance card and call the number on it to confirm that you're covered.
You don't have to get the marriage certificate from HIM; you can get a legal copy from the courthouse. At this point, I wouldn't trust HIM for a darned thing if he hasn't even given you a key to his apartment. TBH, I honestly believe that his "psycho" "ex" girlfriend is still spending time there with your husband, no matter what he says. Sorry to cast aspersions on him, but that's how I see. BTW, I went through something a little similar with my first husband toward the end of our marriage. His secretary had a key to the apartment we were moving into, but I didn't. It turned out that they were spending lot of time there together, but it sure wasn't dictation he was giving her.
We talked for three hours and there was some talking in circles but basically he doesn’t want me meeting them because of the same issues there was before about caring too much what they might think. Like he didn’t say it meanly but that’s what I have come up with
Hes not lying about his job or who is he but there’s also other stuff going on and I’m not an idiot. It seems to me he is used to a certain lifestyle but that has to be left in the past since we are married now
No he’s not religious at all. He is an atheist and honestly it bothers me but I also think that you can’t pressure people into having a relationship with God. That’s something personal and I can only pray for him.
I’m done with this whole thing :/ I told him when he gets back we need to find a place and that’s it it I am done for real.
... What?
Why didn't you tell him that you're setting a deadline for the introductions? He just told you things haven't changed one bit. Why would you want to get a place with him when he's being like that? Do you really need insurance that bad?
To the OP - If deep down inside you know you don't like the way you are being treated then you got to stand up for yourself and walk away. You deserve someone who truly cares about you.
Belle, we cannot help you, I'm afraid. You came here asking if this sounded right and we are ALL telling you what's going on and you just keep posting all his excuses /lies.
I'm sorry to say this, but he doesn't love you. If he loved you he would be shouting it from the rooftops regardless of what anyone else was going to think. He would spend the holidays with you. He wouldn't be able to spend a night away from you. He not only doesn't love you, he's playing you.
You're starting to question him and now he's in a hurry to start a family which will trap you. You'll ignore our pleas, but I'll echo what my fellow posters have said: DO NOT GET PREGNANT.
I feel sorry for you. It's one thing to be naive, that's understandable when one doesn't have the life experiences gained through the years. But to ignore the signs and advice of well meaning people when you've asked for it because deep down you know he's lying is something else altogether.
Things that are completely messed up, not normal, and should cause you to worry:
- he's ashamed of you
- he doesn't live with you
- he hasn't given you a key to his place
- you don't have any proof he added you to accounts, financial instruments, or insurance
This could all be resolved quite easily. Give him a deadline -- 2 weeks -- to introduce you to his family and friends and to give you a key to his apt. Get his insurance card and call the number on it to confirm that you're covered.
If he balks, walk away.
AND DO NOT GET PREGNANT!
Yep, he's keeping her a secret - and keeping secrets from her - because he doesn't really want her as part of his life. She's a sideshow.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
