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I thought of this thread after reading another on here. I've dated guys without ambition before, and being that I am the opposite, I never could understand why someone would not want to try harder in their life. After going through some very frustrating dating situations with guys like this, I could never go through it again.
So the question is, have you ever dated someone like this? How did you deal with it, and what did you learn from it?
Why did you date guys with no ambition ? Were you orginally drawn to them because you thought they were physically attractive ? If the answer is yes than you are so shallow to date someone based on how they look on the outside.
Why did you date guys with no ambition ? Were you orginally drawn to them because you thought they were physically attractive ? If the answer is yes than you are so shallow to date someone based on how they look on the outside.
One was my high school sweetheart. When we started dating we were both young, so there was really no way for me to know how he would turn up later in life. Well, you could say there was, but I was young and had no life experience at the time.
And no, I would not date someone just because they were physically attractive . Although, it does play a part.
Are there no "bird" courses left. The pot dealers I knew continued their "studies" because it kept them in touch with their customers.
Oh, he still went to campus.. hung out there, went to campus parties, went to events etc. Just didn't actually take classes. He's currently living in a walk in closet at the age of 28.
Yup...she was sweet, smart, well-traveled, gorgeous, funny, nice, treated me like royalty...
but she had no plan, no cares, no worries, and no responsibility to life or herself.
Eventually, that lack of understanding and respect between us (and our inability to reconcile it) drove us apart...it took a few years, but I have learned I can't deal with that kind of person. In the end, they will never understand a very essential part of my being.
And what exactly did you want her to do? Reinvent the hot water?! Learn to dance tribal dances?!
What's with all this "ambition"...?! If somebody has a decent education and a decent job paying him decent money, he's fine with me. I feel the same way about myself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nuala
This story/anecdote stuck forever with me (forgive me if I'm repeating myself, but it sums up nicely my thinking):
An MBA-educated CEO got abandoned somehow on this island.
He walked around and saw a man who would go out in his dinky boat every morning, catch enough fish for the day, and would spend the rest of the day laying in his hammock.
The MBA said, "Why don't we go in business together? We'll buy boats of the other fishermen and will have a little flotilla. We will catch more fish, sell it and make money."
The fisherman said, "And what are we going to do with this money?"
The MBA said, "We will buy out boats from all this archipelago, and then sell them and buy larger commercial boats. We will fish in bigger oceans and catch more and more fish and will be major players. We'll acquire other fishing companies, issue stock of our company, get richer still!"
The fisherman said, "And what will we do then?"
The MBA said, "We will sell our company, retire on a small island, and will be spending out days fishing a little in the morning, and spending the rest of the day doing nothing."
The fisherman said, "But I already am doing that."
I love this story and have posted it before. Granted, there is a slight difference between fishing for fun and fishing for a living (the safety net is obviously missing), but it's essentially the same. Only that the fisherman has had a nice, easy, and fulfilling life all along whereas the big-time businessman has wasted most of his in the rat race. I always get some perspective when I go down to Mexico. All it takes for poor people there to have fun is to park their trucks somewhere, play some music, drink some beers, talk, laugh, and dance. More than can be said about most of us pecking on our keyboards pursuing "goals" and "ambitions"!
I've talked about this before. It's sad for me to observe when I'm there how the nice restaurants on the beaches are full of those of us with "ambitions." They're the ones with the empty eyes, those having no conversations, and those splitting credit cards after "romantic" dinners. Would be nice if the locals who know how to have fun can afford to be there instead of these "ambitious" zombies wasting the ambience.
What's with all this "ambition"...?! If somebody has a decent education and a decent job paying him decent money, he's fine with me. I feel the same way about myself.
What is your definition of decent money ? Atleast 50 gran a year ?
What's with all this "ambition"...?! If somebody has a decent education and a decent job paying him decent money, he's fine with me. I feel the same way about myself.
I agree. Reading this thread reminds me of my boyfriend and myself. I think he thinks I lack ambition. I have a college degree and a stable, decent paying job (that I don't like), and I really don't spend much time thinking about my career. It's just a necessary evil. I tell him that I'd be perfectly content with winning the lottery and sitting on my butt every day if I wanted to. He can't understand that and thinks that people need to be productive all the time. He's not going to feel like a success until he's earned his Ph.D and is making six figures. The only thing that I strongly desire at this point in my life is to get married and have a family. I don't want to have to depend on someone else for money, so if I don't win the lottery, I'll always work, but I'm not going to pretend like working makes me happy just so I can seem more "ambitious" to him. I will take relaxing over work ANY day!
What is your definition of decent money ? Atleast 50 gran a year ?
It's not ideal for a man, but I find it acceptable. For younger people, it could be even great.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar
I agree. Reading this thread reminds me of my boyfriend and myself. I think he thinks I lack ambition. I have a college degree and a stable, decent paying job (that I don't like), and I really don't spend much time thinking about my career. It's just a necessary evil. I tell him that I'd be perfectly content with winning the lottery and sitting on my butt every day if I wanted to. He can't understand that and thinks that people need to be productive all the time. He's not going to feel like a success until he's earned his Ph.D and is making six figures. The only thing that I strongly desire at this point in my life is to get married and have a family. I don't want to have to depend on someone else for money, so if I don't win the lottery, I'll always work, but I'm not going to pretend like working makes me happy just so I can seem more "ambitious" to him. I will take relaxing over work ANY day!
You know, it's really funny how successful the propaganda has been in this country. All over the rest of the world people work to live. Only here the slaves were somehow convinced it's great to live to work and they're even proud of it!
You see these magazine articles and even whole books asking "why would you want to retire?!" ... Yeah, really... wtf would you wanna retire when you can slave for us till the end of your days!
I don't need a guy to have "ambition" if it means never being happy with where he is in life and always wanting more more more.
My boyfriend at the moment seems to have this trait and I'm not sure I like it. He hasn't even finished working on his Master's degree and he's already looking towards getting his PhD. He has a great job, but wants to make even more money (he already makes six figures).
Meanwhile, I love my job and have no intention of trying for a promotion because it would mean switching jobs and possibly winding up doing something I hate or winding up with a boss from hell. This is the first job I've ever truly enjoyed and all the money in the world can't make up for that. My co-workers and bosses are the best! I own two houses, have a very good salary, and really, for the first time in my life, am very happy with where I am in life.
My boyfriend keeps suggesting I get a Master's degree, or move back to DC so I can get promoted. I've told him in no uncertain terms that will happen over my dead body. I have no desire to sacrifice my free time to get a degree that won't help me advance in my career, or to move back to a place I lived before, and hated.
My ambition consists of wanting to continue with the job I have, and do the best job possible. I have ambition to finish a half marathon, and to lose weight, and to be a good decent human being. I have no ambition to make a gazillion dollars by working 80 hours weeks at a job I hate.
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. Although, it does play a part.
