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It's not ideal for a man, but I find it acceptable. For younger people, it could be even great.
In a 3rd world country, a man who makes 50 gran a year would be considered a great catch in the eyes of most women because you can live like a king with 50 gran a year in a country like The Philippines or Mexico for example.
I agree. Reading this thread reminds me of my boyfriend and myself. I think he thinks I lack ambition. I have a college degree and a stable, decent paying job (that I don't like), and I really don't spend much time thinking about my career. It's just a necessary evil. I tell him that I'd be perfectly content with winning the lottery and sitting on my butt every day if I wanted to. He can't understand that and thinks that people need to be productive all the time. He's not going to feel like a success until he's earned his Ph.D and is making six figures. The only thing that I strongly desire at this point in my life is to get married and have a family. I don't want to have to depend on someone else for money, so if I don't win the lottery, I'll always work, but I'm not going to pretend like working makes me happy just so I can seem more "ambitious" to him. I will take relaxing over work ANY day!
Be very cautious of men who are overly ambitious. Most of them wont be ready to settle down and start any kind of family within an acceptible timeframe. The reason is that a lot of really driven men feel they cant slow down and just enjoy life until they have accomplished the impossible weather that be tons of money, cure a disease, or some other crazy goal that was set to high.
The part about high ambitions that bothers me is it really just equates to superficial or material crap like money, cars, houses, girlfriends, etc...
Now there are the good kinds of ambition driven out there that are necessary, like people working on cures for cancer and HIV, but those types are pretty rare (as are their results). This whole idea about ambitions = success = happiness is a complete lie brought to you by the media, distribution type companies, and others out there who want to control every element of human activity. Dont buy into the hype. Ask your boyfriend what he plans on doing once he reaches his ambitious goals? If he says "be happy", then he is placing value on the material world, and will probably do so his entire life, even at your cost.
People need to learn to be happy with what they have and stop wasting their entire lives reaching for things they cant get, or worse yet, will utterly destroy them if they reach. Even if you reach your goals, what then? The bar will keep going higher, much like a drug. I associate ambition with greed and confusion about what one wants out of life. I will tell you from personal experience that money (which is what 99% of people who claim to be ambitious are really after) is not going to make someone happy. Love, humor, and genuine human interaction amoung caring friends/family is something that can never be bought. Sadly, most people dont realize this until they lose several family members or are on their own death bed.
My ambition consists of wanting to continue with the job I have, and do the best job possible. I have ambition to finish a half marathon, and to lose weight, and to be a good decent human being. I have no ambition to make a gazillion dollars by working 80 hours weeks at a job I hate.
That exactly the case usually when you get "promoted" you end up doing a lot more work and more headaches.
I've been offered a few "promotions" over the yrs, and yeah I could have made the six figures, but I'm doing OK for now, I have enough stress and responsibility at my current position. My free time is becoming a commodity that is more important to me then more money.
In a 3rd world country, a man who makes 50 gran a year would be considered a great catch in the eyes of most women because you can live like a king with 50 gran a year in a country like The Philippines or Mexico for example.
The problem is in most cases you can't make a living in one country and live in another.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jason28
I will tell you from personal experience that money (which is what 99% of people who claim to be ambitious are really after) is not going to make someone happy. Love, humor, and genuine human interaction amoung caring friends/family is something that can never be bought. Sadly, most people dont realize this until they lose several family members or are on their own death bed.
While I agree with most of your post, there are highly talented people who actually love what they're doing. Not too many of them, but there are. I can relate to their need to create and reach new heights constantly, regardless of the financial aspect of it.
I've dated a couple females with no ambition and although the chemistry was there, I cut that off because I'm about progress. The females I were with were content at their current level and that was a problem for me. As much as I liked them, I knew there would be issues off-top because I'm ambitious/driven and I want a female that's of similar hustle.
I love this story and have posted it before. Granted, there is a slight difference between fishing for fun and fishing for a living (the safety net is obviously missing), but it's essentially the same. Only that the fisherman has had a nice, easy, and fulfilling life all along whereas the big-time businessman has wasted most of his in the rat race. I always get some perspective when I go down to Mexico. All it takes for poor people there to have fun is to park their trucks somewhere, play some music, drink some beers, talk, laugh, and dance. More than can be said about most of us pecking on our keyboards pursuing "goals" and "ambitions"!
I've talked about this before. It's sad for me to observe when I'm there how the nice restaurants on the beaches are full of those of us with "ambitions." They're the ones with the empty eyes, those having no conversations, and those splitting credit cards after "romantic" dinners. Would be nice if the locals who know how to have fun can afford to be there instead of these "ambitious" zombies wasting the ambience.
Ok, Nuala's story had me cracking up laughing. Don't even know why.
But to add to sierra's comment, there is something to be said for not striving to be in the "rat race" and climb the corporate ladder. My fiance is sort of ambitionless, in that he really has no career ambitions. He's content as long as he has a job, can pay bills and have some in his pocket. Me, I hold a master's degree and have running around in the rat race for the past few years trying to get ahead. He both lost our jobs last year. While I fell into a deep depression stressing over my lost value in the work world and the setback my career was taking, he calmly took some time off, read, studied and after a few months applied for a few jobs, low-paying jobs, but jobs. After about 4 applications, he was hired by a retailer.
Here I am at 7 months unemployed, in counseling and taking meds to fight the depression from not working and over 160+ applications out. Meanwhile, his manager's love him and are considering him for promotions and have told him he should be moving up quickly at the rate he's going. Slow and steady, he's nearly winning the race.
Point I'm trying to make is I always thought my way was best but he's taught me there are other ways of life. While he's not career-oriented, he's very much into the outdoors and spend his time mountain biking, camping, playing sports and just enjoying life while I was stressed over picking my career off the floor. But I've learned to not worry as much, something will come through and to enjoy the sunshine and days off while I can. He's given me a new perspective.
And while I used to cry on Mondays cause everyone else was going to work, now I sleep in, have breakfast at noon and every afternoon I walk the dog through this grassy field behind my house in the peaceful sunshine. I'll have a go-go stressful cubicle-laden job again but until then, I'm learning to enjoy the quiet simple life a bit.
No. If I ever come across a man that is happy so-called "flatlined" - he would not make it to boyfriend. I prefer someone with upward mobility in numerous aspects, not just financial - and has a vision past tomorrow.
While I agree with most of your post, there are highly talented people who actually love what they're doing. Not too many of them, but there are. I can relate to their need to create and reach new highs constantly, regardless of the financial aspect of it.
Right. I dont have any problem with those types, but they are indeed rare. Its all who you choose to associate with, which for me is people that love life and not money. Unfortunately most of the time that just leaves me sitting around with this guy.
No. If I ever come across a man that is happy so-called "flatlined" - he would not make it to boyfriend. I prefer someone with upward mobility in numerous aspects, not just financial - and has a vision past tomorrow.
What an appropriate word! The racing ones are very likely to flatline in the literal sense!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jason28
Right. I dont have any problem with those types, but they are indeed rare. Its all who you choose to associate with, which for me is people that love life and not money. Unfortunately most of the time that just leaves me sitting around with this guy.
Even though I'm not a pet person, I find this guy quite cute!
I also wanted to add that I've dated guys with money and travels and degrees and houses and stuff and those relationships went nowhere cause they really didn't value me the way I deserved. Met my fiance, who really had nothing but he's had the biggest heart, the most love and is the most dedicated guy I've ever met. Even when he lost his job (and I was still working) he was trying to pay my way and do things just to make me happy. And he hasn't stopped. It makes him happy to see me happy.
And while all my snigle girlfriends are still hunting down the man who has it all, I'm sporting the rock on my finger, with the wedding date set and I've never been happier with a guy.
So you just never know.
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