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I think asking a guy why he is still in an apartment might be a fair question. A young person who owns a house appears to have his head on straight, while an older person who does not, appears to have some kind of problem, or he may have a good reason. My oldest son made a down payment on his first home when he was 19 years old, and had just graduated from high school. Not everyone is able to do that, because many young people would rather party or buy toys. Not everyone thinks the same. I can see where that might help a woman determine if a guy was good husband material.
Honestly it depends on where you live - if you lived in NYC it could be you would be better off in a rent-controlled apartment than you could ever get to by owning real estate. But a house can be a sign of financial strength, which is attractive to women. Also can be a sign of stability and "family orientation" - which it may or may not be. I bought my first house at 25 years old in good old "Idiot Flats" Idaho, and a lot of the local girls seemed to think it meant I wanted to settle and get married. But I set them straight soon enough...
Yes,
I am not going to waste time debating the merits and dismerits of looking at a person relationship wise in terms of money or whether it is shallow or not. Whether you judge a person based on money or any other quality is your personal business in terms of a relationship. Regardless of whether or not you want a woman wants a guy to have money, they are an absolute worthless useless pathetic moron if they judge a guy based on a proxy for money for the sake of said proxy ( even if he demonstrates that there is a reason why said proxy is not valid) . Examples
1. If a guy owns a home, than it shows that he is financially good: As mentioned above, there can be specific reasons why not owning is ACTUALLY FINANCIALLY BETTER: Maybe you have knack for some other type of investing ( like forex or stocks), maybe based on some economic hypothesis of deflation you think home prices will drop, maybe you don't want debt for some sound reason, maybe you are in a specific career like management consultant that involves many rotations throughout different areas of the country.
2. What job does a guy have: Well, as I argued in an earlier post, there can be hundreds of reasons why a stereotypical lower status job may actually be better than a higher status job. For instance, it is probaly better to be a New York City Garbageman with union benefits, overtime, and seniority than
a generic corporate cubicle dweller. In New York City, there are many college educated middle class college graduates who are now trying to become city clerical workers and garbagemen. Also, you can make great money in a blue collarish business. In the Wall Street Journal there was an article about a laid off Wall Streeter that actually made more money with a desert food truck than on Wall Street. Of course that shows ambition and drive.
3. What is someones financial status and job title right now:
In todays world, someone can go from Investment Banker to Chuckie Cheese worker overnight. Also, in today's world, unemployed is just a status that many people happen to have like a stock happens to be down today. It says nothing about their family financial background, their long term career abilities, if they had any money saved from before they were unemployed, their potential to make money again etc. Even Donald Trump cast his apprentince show with unemployed people who had great potential.
Regardless of whether it is right or wrong to judge a relationship based on money, it is silly to judge based on some proxy if a good explanation exists.
Ok, i thought that as long as you didn't live in your mom's basement and was on your own that was fine. So living in a apartment is not acceptable in your 30's??_lol Are you kiddin me???
I have had 2 different woman ask me when do I plan to buy a house?? Or why am I not already in a house??
Ok everybody, I'm done, it's clear that I don't qualify for a relationship because women want you now in this SHAKY economy to have a HOUSE???
I mean Come on!
They are basic questions about you. Neither good or bad. Goes right up there with a whole list of conversation questions. It implies neither good or bad - but you ALWAYS find the negative, no suprise there. People ask me all the time if I live in an apartment or a house along with other questions on what do you do, do you have kids, family, and other basics.
Not everything people ask you has a sinister reason behind it and you read way too much into things - on purpose. I might ask the same question just conversationally, but it makes no difference of the answer. The same has been asked of me. I lived in the same apartment for 7 years, but I was never home and travelled a lot for my job. Owning a home was riduculous at the time because I was devoted to solidifying my career at the time and going out and having a good time when I wasn't (I am a woman for those not in the know).
When I took a different job within the company it allowed me more time to be home and my lease was up and increased (again). I bought a home then.
Does it matter that most of the men I dated didn't live in their own home - oh hell no. So, calm down sparky - as per usual you've blown another conversation out of control.
I think a lot of people just don't care to own a home. I's rather build my dream home with the person I am spending the rest of my life with than put money into one right now. I don't own many things and basically live out of a room, so owning a home with mortgage + tax would be more expensive for me. I'm a few years away from turning 30... but I don't see myself buying a home for myself even though I can afford it. Mostly because I don't care to have to take care of more than I have to.
I think a lot of people just don't care to own a home. I's rather build my dream home with the person I am spending the rest of my life with than put money into one right now. I don't own many things and basically live out of a room, so owning a home with mortgage + tax would be more expensive for me. I'm a few years away from turning 30... but I don't see myself buying a home for myself even though I can afford it. Mostly because I don't care to have to take care of more than I have to.
They ya go.
This is perfectly reasonable and honest. Taking care of a home isn't for everyone. Mowing the lawn and yard work just aren't an interest for many people. I wanted a garden and a dog at the time I bought mine in my thirties. My next place will probably be a townhouse or villa type home where I have access to the outdoors without the maintenance.
I think asking a guy why he is still in an apartment might be a fair question. A young person who owns a house appears to have his head on straight, while an older person who does not, appears to have some kind of problem, or he may have a good reason. My oldest son made a down payment on his first home when he was 19 years old, and had just graduated from high school. Not everyone is able to do that, because many young people would rather party or buy toys. Not everyone thinks the same. I can see where that might help a woman determine if a guy was good husband material.
It depends on your area too. Your son was able to do that at 19. In my area, at 19, no way could I afford a house and the taxes. Houses in my area are very expensive with taxes at an average of 8,000 to 10,000. Now these are not mansions, I'm talking 2, 3 bedroom houses here, nothing special. The taxes I speak of are property plus school taxes + village taxes (if you live in a village).
Nowadays, it takes two incomes in my area to buy a house unless you're making a boatload of money. And I'm just talking about the price of a house + taxes. I haven't even gotten into utilities yet, much less food.
So a guy could have his head on straight, have a good job in his 20's but still be unable to afford to buy a house. I wasn't one to party or buy toys, I saved my money. And I'm in a position to buy now that I have a wife. Our combined incomes can purchase a house (and we're not looking for a house with all the glitz and glamour). We're looking for one that we can afford and where the taxes are lower.
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