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Also, "I'm waiting to get married to buy a house" is an answer I think most women would approve of, including the golddiggers.
That's how I feel. Owning a house as a single guy, made me feel a little weird. Renting next to bars and night life makes me seem cooler. It's all about appearances.
I think what a lot of people (including me) have tried to say is that "No, I don't own a home" can be a reasonable, respectable answer. It's the reason why not that is key. There's a big difference between "I could own a home but I enjoy moving and seeing different places" and "I don't own a home because I haven't figured out how to budget my money."
Or, "I like having my mom do all my laundry for me."
Owning a house shows maturity and stability, two things women look for in a man. If you still have the bachelor pad and aren't thinking of the future, odds are you will do the same thing if she dates you. So it really isn't a material aspect, it's more of our way of gauging where a man is at in his life early on...It also depends on where in your 30's you are. Early thirties, tell them to stop trying to get a peep at your bank account. Later 30's...time to grow up mister!
This is an interesting thread. It never occurred to me that women would even care about such a thing. I was always of the mindset that as long as I am single I am better off renting because it allows me to live in the more hip parts of town. If I bought I would have to move out to the suburbs. I am turning 30 in 2 weeks and have for some time been thinking about buying a house. Not so that the ladies would approve but because I myself would like the stability of having a permanent residence. I'm still undecided as I probably couldn't afford to buy where I live at now. So from that perspective it is more appealing to rent until you meet that "special someone". I would be giving up a certain lifestyle by moving out to the suburbs and buying a house.
If some women are supposedly this picky about home ownership I don't even want to think about what they have to say about having a roommate. If you live in an expensive area and are not married it can make sense from a financial perspective. When you live alone you pay disproportionately more than you would if you had a roommate. Are women not on board with saving money? I don't currently have a roommate but have considered rooming with a buddy when my lease is up. Which would make me 30 with a roommate and I suppose a big giant loser from their perspective. Oh well, its my money so I figure the more I can save the better regardless of what some random woman thinks about it.
In any case, this was an interesting read. It has shed some light on differing opinions regarding the subject.
Owning a house shows maturity and stability, two things women look for in a man. If you still have the bachelor pad and aren't thinking of the future, odds are you will do the same thing if she dates you. So it really isn't a material aspect, it's more of our way of gauging where a man is at in his life early on...It also depends on where in your 30's you are. Early thirties, tell them to stop trying to get a peep at your bank account. Later 30's...time to grow up mister!
I'm not 30 yet but I completely disagree with you...
Seriously... owning a home determines whether you're thinking of the future? Not owning a home by late 30's makes you immature or not "grown up"? That's quite an assumption.
I max out my 401k with a $49,000/yr contribution, own 11 acres of land across two states (NJ and PA, multihome prepared lots that I'll sell to a developer down the road), and multiple rental properties.... but don't own a home. I just don't see what a home will do for me. I don't have a lot of stuff... and any large family gatherings are done at my parents home in the same state that I live in.
Sure... When I have a family and need a home, I'll shell out the cash for it... but when I'm just working and dating, I don't see the point of buying something that needs maintainance.
My thoughts are that if a gal feels she has the right to quiz a guy about his financial situation, i.e., purchasing a house...then the guy has just as much right to ask her the same question.
I don't know the gal who asked the question and obviously can't read her mind....however, how do we know that she is not irresponsible, deeply in debt and looking for someone to bail her out. Perhaps in her mindset, if he is buying a house, then he must have money.
Several posters have indicated their preference is to not buy a house...and that does not indicate whether or not they are financially responsible or a stable person.
When a couple is just dating and nowhere's near the point of getting serious, I don't see where either one has to reveal anything about their personal finances. However, when it comes to wanting to share the rest of your life with someone (and the legalities of marriage), then obviously both need to be made aware of the other's financial situation.
If someone asked me right off the bat 'why I didn't own a home', I would ask 'why they want to know'.
There was a time, decades ago, that women would concern themselves with the financial reliability of a potential mate. However, eventually this became something that was considered too slow a way to happiness. Building wealth and security, step by step, just took too long and therefore, having access to family money became the new gold standard in men.
However, in general, women who couldn't compete for the "gold standard", rarely considered a man's financial reliability before marriage. If anything, men who are good with saving are considered cheap.
In recent years, owning a house was often indicative of little. Houses became so expensive that few single men could pay down a significant portion of the principal. With zero down and people commonly remortgaging to draw out all the appreciation in value, there was little difference than renting. It's only now that many realize that this has ruined their credit rating and driven them to bankruptcy but having all that extra spending money and having a fancy house that they couldn't afford probably improved their dating prospects.
However, those owning a house that they could afford (and make progress paying off the mortgage) would seldom impress women with it. "Too small - not fancy enough - don't like the neighborhood."
Ok, i thought that as long as you didn't live in your mom's basement and was on your own that was fine. So living in a apartment is not acceptable in your 30's??_lol Are you kiddin me???
I have had 2 different woman ask me when do I plan to buy a house?? Or why am I not already in a house??
Ok everybody, I'm done, it's clear that I don't qualify for a relationship because women want you now in this SHAKY economy to have a HOUSE???
I mean Come on!
At least you live in a more affordable area. Where I live in the DC area, a 1 BR condo easily goes for over 300k. A house house would cost at least 400-450k.
At least on the bright side, if you already own a home befor eyou get married, it's not part of the marital property and you won't lose it in the likely divorce.
I'm not 30 yet but I completely disagree with you...
Seriously... owning a home determines whether you're thinking of the future? Not owning a home by late 30's makes you immature or not "grown up"? That's quite an assumption.
I max out my 401k with a $49,000/yr contribution, own 11 acres of land across two states (NJ and PA, multihome prepared lots that I'll sell to a developer down the road), and multiple rental properties.... but don't own a home. I just don't see what a home will do for me. I don't have a lot of stuff... and any large family gatherings are done at my parents home in the same state that I live in.
Sure... When I have a family and need a home, I'll shell out the cash for it... but when I'm just working and dating, I don't see the point of buying something that needs maintainance.
The reality is that a home is a status symbol. Women seek security and stability? I suppose that's why bad boys go dateless so often...
I don't know what history you've been researching to come up with that gem but one can assume you'll be looking for a house and a car very soon since nothing else works for you.
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